


We All Have a Hunger

by maqcy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Aftercare, Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BDSM, Bathing, Bathing/Washing, Biting, Blood and Injury, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Breathplay, Choking, Come Eating, Come Shot, Come Swallowing, Come as Lube, Dark, Dark fic, Disabled Character, Dom/sub, Drowning, Dubious Consent, Erotica, Eventual Happy Ending, Extremely Dubious Consent, Fights, Fist Fights, Flogging, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Foreplay, Fucked Up, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hand Feeding, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Happy Sex, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Healing, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury, Injury Recovery, Kissing, Light BDSM, Light Masochism, M/M, Major Character Injury, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Penetrative Sex, Non-Sexual Bondage, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Original Fiction, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Rape/Non-con, Permanent Injury, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ring gag, Rope Bondage, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sadism, Serious Injuries, Sex, Smut, Some Humor, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, There's a lot of biting, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Violence, War, What Have I Done, a bit at least, and then parts with awful fluff, does that count as a, erm, filthy stuff, fronttage, i mean one character gets half-drowned, im sorry, mute character, no tongue, sadistic, spider gag, the whole thing is dubious donsent, this looks like so much fun, tribal warfare, well sort of Medieval, with parts of all-out rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:46:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 44,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maqcy/pseuds/maqcy
Summary: On a diplomatic mission to another tribe, Isten seeks out a mute prisoner-of-war named Adder - an enemy of his people - for sex and to escape for just a while. But Isten hadn't realised just how dangerous, how vicious, Adder was and when he finds himself at the mercy of such a man, Isten struggles to fight back.Until maybe he doesn't want to anymore.*complete!*





	1. Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Please mind the tags, this is a dark fic and I don't want anyone to be negatively affected by it, so please look after yourselves. And let me know if I've missed any tags, I know there's quite a lot! We do launch right into the dark stuff in the first chapter, so just- don't like, don't read :)  
> This *is* a completed fic and I will be posting a new chapter every Friday until it's done :D  
> Anyway, I really hope y'all enjoy and all comments are not only welcome, but cherished. 
> 
> *please don't repost*

 

“They’re fighting the dog again tonight.” Erlik said conversationally. Isten glanced over at him from where he was absently picking mud off his boot laces.

“The dog?” Isten repeated.

“The Tern.” Erlik said, like the name was foul. The Terns had killed so many of them. “They call this one Adder. Like the snake.” Isten shrugged carelessly. He’d seen enough real fighting to not care for fighting for amusement.

Before the fighting had begun in earnest, Isten retired to his tent, only to be kept awake by the shouts of cheering men. Irritable, Isten dragged himself outside, tugged a fur around his shoulders and trudged over the half-frozen mud to see what the fuss was about. He spotted Erlik amongst the crowd in the dusk and Erlik grinned savagely to see him.

“Friend!” He said as he clasped Isten’s arm and towed him towards the front, “The fucker just won’t die.” Erlik said with something bordering on respect. Curiosity piqued, Isten looked out at a filthy, bloody man, too tall to be anything but a Tern, and the two Hikts he was pitted against.

The Tern was unstable, clearly exhausted and probably unfed. He just staggered and swayed and looked like he was one hit away from not getting up again, but every time one of the Hikts, who were strong, fast men both of them, came at the Tern, he somehow dodged or grappled or slipped out away from a killing blow, occasionally meting out an offensive move amongst his impressive defensive. He _was_ somewhat like an adder, the way he waited, and then struck with explosive force. Isten licked his lips as he watched the man, the grace in the way he moved, even exhausted.

“Good sport.” Erlik laughed, spitting out whatever he’d been chewing before he started yelling encouragement again.

The match went on until the Hikts finally managed to hit the Tern solidly and then he did fall and though he obviously, groggily, tried to stand again, he couldn’t get up before the shorter Hikts slammed his boot into the Tern’s head and with that blow, the Tern collapsed onto his belly and was still. The Hikt raised his knife in question and looked around the stands as the crowd cheered and chanted their victory.

But they wanted another fight out of the Tern who was proving so tenacious, that was clear, and so the stubborn Tern was spared for another day. Looking at the crumpled mess of a man as he was dragged away, Isten thought death might be preferable.

Patting Erlik on the shoulder, Isten departed to go in search of Farn. This Tern had caught his interest.

“Good evening.” Isten greeted Farn, the leader, when he found him, and inclined his head. “I want the Tern.” Isten told him shortly, “How much?”

“Blunt as always.” Farn said, laughing. “For a night?” He shrugged, “Consider it a gift between our peoples.”

“My thanks.” Isten said. He’d hoped for more than a night, since he wasn’t sure the Tern would even be conscious after being hit so hard, but he wouldn’t refuse the gift, not when he was trying to build good relations between his people and the Hikts. Farn just grinned toothily at him and Isten walked away to find wherever the Tern was being kept.

It turned out to be a wooden-walled hut at the back of the camp and Isten told the guards of Farn’s gift.

“Here.” One of the guards said, smirking, and handed Isten a strange contraption: a metal ring with four wooden spikes curving out from it. Leather straps were attached to opposite sides of the ring.

“What is it?” Isten said with a faint frown, handling the thing dubiously.

The guard grinned at him. “Naïve, aren’t you, lad.” He said, “You put it in his mouth, like,” he then poked his finger through the metal ring, “and your cock goes in there.” Isten froze. “Reckon he’d bite it off otherwise. Bleedin’ animal.” Isten said nothing.

“He’s got plenty of space in there, if you catch my drift.” Another guard said and they laughed, clapping Isten on the shoulder even as Isten frowned in incomprehension. Then they turned away to leave him to it, after checking that Isten had his sword, to protect himself. The Tern might be clinging to life like ivy, but Isten doubted the man would be able to raise his head, let alone launch an attack. Isten slid the contraption into his pocket where the Tern wouldn’t see it and pushed it out of his mind for the time being.

Isten had instructed one of the cooks to have his food brought to the hut and it arrived just as Isten was stepping inside. He took the bowl and mug off the man and then shut the door firmly.

It was dim inside but one of the guards had lit a torch for him which hung from a bracket on the wall. The man was collapsed in the centre with his arms tied to the central post of the hut. Isten could hear the man’s breath rasping in and out but he didn’t show any sign of consciousness and Isten sighed and sat down to dig into his food.

After a minute or so, he became aware that the Tern was watching him and Isten raised his eyebrows at the man.

“Hungry?” Isten said. He didn’t know if the Tern, Adder, recognised his dialect or not, since the Tay dialect was slightly different from the Hikts’. The Terns didn’t usually stop to talk, anyway, but just slaughtered.

Adder continued to watch Isten with flat, animal eyes set within an attractive face, though his features were distinctively Tern, with his heavy brow and slightly flat nose, his complexion paler that Isten’s. His lips were thin but wide and Isten briefly imagined them spread by the gag the guards had given him before he blinked.

Adder gave no indication he’d understood Isten, but he visibly tensed when Isten stood and approached him with the broth. Adder eyed the proffered spoon before sharply turning his head from it in obvious refusal. Isten shrugged and sat back to eat it himself.

Adder watched Isten with more interest after Isten had offered to feed him, though still with the hard edge to his gaze that showed he’d kill Isten the moment he got the chance.

Setting the bowl aside, Isten got to his feet and, watching as Adder stiffened, moved around to look at the man’s bindings. They seemed secure: Adder’s wrists tightly bound behind the post. There was a rope noose around the man’s throat too though it wasn’t attached to anything, seeming instead to be for the sole purpose of hauling the man around.

Standing behind Adder, Isten slowly took the gag out of his pocket to look at it. He had intended to get the man to stroke his cock with his hand, but this would be pleasant enough, he supposed, although something in his gut didn’t like it. Adder, clearly a proud man, would certainly loathe it and Isten frowned, before concluding that he wasn’t obliged to care. He would be gentle, anyway, and then perhaps Adder would not mind so much.

Isten, out of Adder’s line of sight, shot out a hand to take a rough hold of Adder’s short, thick hair, matted with blood and filth. Adder made a harsh noise of shock and Isten tugged the man’s head back sharply to the side of the post before shoving the ring into Adder’s mouth.

Adder screamed in inhuman rage and bucked, throwing his head side to side in a desperate attempt to dislodge it, but Isten clung to the leather straps and, as soon as Adder tired enough to cease struggling, he tied them securely at the base of Adder’s skull.

Adder was panting loudly, almost wheezing, and Isten moved slowly round to crouch in front of him, finding pure loathing in those eyes where Adder was glaring at him from under thick brows, the dim light shadowing his face.

But the gag was in place; the ring set behind Adder’s teeth and the curved spikes of wood keeping it there, with Adder’s mouth held open.

Isten reached out to touch Adder’s lip and the man threw his head back with a furious noise of rebellion, lashing out with his legs to land a solid hit on Isten’s thigh, then his ribs, and Isten scrambled back with a yelp of pain.

He should have expected that, he realised, and he came back towards Adder with his sword drawn, which Adder watched with eyes like a terrified horse.

Isten came forward with a lurch and grabbed Adder’s legs, sitting on them to hold him down as he tugged his belt free and kept Adder pinned down as he wrapped his belt around Adder’s ankles, before forcing the man to fold his legs, so that Isten could bind his ankles to his thighs. That way, Adder was immobile, and the man knew it, because he let out a howl of rage and bucked desperately for a minute before he went limp with exhaustion. He was black with filth, except for where he was encrusted with blood, which seeped through fresh at his struggles, particularly from several cuts on his torso, which leaked though his torn shift, and a cut at his forehead.

“Easy.” Isten muttered, as he approached Adder again, and the man, the tendons in his neck standing out like tree roots, pulled his head as far away from Isten as he could manage.

Isten crouched down over Adder’s curled legs and touched the man’s cheek with a gentle hand, the hair growth there rough under his hand. Adder grunted and tried to pull away, but Isten put his other hand to catch Adder’s head between them and stared at him. Adder glared back with absolute venom, though he was clearly deeply fatigued, too tired to continue to struggle, and he only flinched when Isten’s curious fingers moved over the metal ring where it was lodged in Adder’s mouth.

It looked so cruel, stretching Adder’s lips like that, and the wooden spines made indentations in Adder’s skin, and Isten frowned as his fingers roamed over Adder’s face, combing through his matted hair to dislodge some of the worst clumps of blood and mud. Adder stayed mostly still, his shoulders hanging low with exhaustion, until Isten removed his hands and Adder cagily glared at him. There was obvious fear there, though, and Isten was in doubt that the guards had used the contraption themselves, and probably hurt Adder.

Isten slid a finger into the wet heat of Adder’s mouth and Adder’s jaw spasmed like he wanted nothing more than to sever Isten’s finger from his hand, but the ring stopped him and he could do nothing but glower.

Isten’s finger found Adder’s flat, hard teeth, and the soft palette, but he didn’t immediately come across Adder’s tongue and he curiously moved his digit around but found only empty space.

Isten froze, recalling the guard’s comment and, taking Adder firmly by the jaw, tilted the man’s head back. Reaching further with his finger, he found a blunt stub of flesh at the back of Adder’s mouth and he started, drawing his hand away to wipe his wet finger on his tunic. Adder looked at him with murder in his eyes but Isten just frowned.

“Who did that?” He demanded. “Hikts?” Adder continued to glare at him, but didn’t give any indication he understood and Isten dragged a hand through his hair. He didn’t find the prospect of sticking his cock alongside that mutilated stub very arousing.

Watching Adder, Isten ran his hand lightly down Adder’s chest, finding the man well-muscled beneath it. The Terns ate better than the Hikts, and Isten’s people both, since they held the prime land, and the evidence was in the solidity of Adder’s body, though Isten had no doubt that he’d not be fed much since he was captured. Adder’s reason for refusing Isten’s stew was unfathomable but Isten didn’t overly care.

Adder flinched when Isten’s fingers touched his wounds but otherwise he was tense, motionless, as Isten moved his hand exploratively. When Isten moved to untie Adder’s trousers, however, the man reacted explosively by bucking his hips with a twist that sent Isten tumbling sideways. Shocked, Isten sat up to look at Adder, who was glaring at him whilst trembling. He’d drawn his bound legs up as close to his body as his body and Isten wondered what Adder had thought he was going to do. Rape him? Castrate him? Mutilate him like how he’d lost his tongue?

Isten sat still for a moment and let both of them gather themselves. Then, he came back towards Adder, who all but screamed at him, taking his legs and forcing them back to the floor with force. Isten straddled the man’s thighs and Adder made a noise of animal pain and denial when Isten tugged Adder’s trousers down, before the man went abruptly limp, apparently spent. His head was twisted to the side and there was an empty flatness to his eyes that Isten didn’t like at all.

Isten looked down at Adder’s limp cock between his bound thighs and took hold of it carefully. Adder whimpered and closed his eyes and Isten hushed him gently.

“Settle.” He told him softly, before beginning to languidly palm Adder’s length. Adder’s breath caught and over a few minutes, Adder seemed to return to awareness as, when Isten looked up from Adder’s steadily swelling cock, he found Adder watching him with an uncomprehending scowl.

Isten didn’t say anything, but continued to stroke Adder until the man was fully hard, though clearly against his will, judging by the frustration in his face. Isten lifted his weight off Adder to stand up and shucked out of his trousers, though he left his knife belt belted around his waist. Adder tensed and his cock softened, but Isten only returned to where he had been, kneeling with his calves either side of Adder’s thighs, but this time, pressed their cocks together. Isten was already half-hard from stroking Adder and he rose to full hardness as he stroked them both within his hand.

Just as Isten thought Adder was getting close to coming, Isten pulled away, eliciting a noise of frustration from Adder, and instead roughly tugged himself. When he came, his abdomen tightening almost painfully, Isten was careful to catch all of his release in his hand.

Adder, his cock still jutting forwards, watched silently and Isten licked his lips as he lifted himself up off Adder and reached back between his legs to rub his come-slick fingers against his hole. He hadn’t planned on doing this; had only intended to jerk both of them off, or perhaps he would have put his cock in Adder’s mouth, if the man’s tongue hadn’t been gone. But, regardless, Isten hadn’t brought anything to ease the way, and so his own come would have to suffice, because doing it dry after being celibate so long was not something he wanted to try.

He hissed as he pushed a second finger into himself alongside the first and he glanced up to grasp Adder’s strong shoulder for balance as he fingered himself carefully. Adder was eying him with blatant surprise and Isten’s lips curled upwards to see it there.

Isten didn’t dare show such submissive, womanly qualities to the Hikt soldiers here for risk of them exposing him and ruining what was meant to be a diplomatic mission. But Isten had been here for several long, dull months and he was aching to get fucked like he could at home, although only with people he trusted.

Isten winced at the press of a third finger and finally a fourth, which he was certain he’d need considering Adder’s considerable size. The Tern had looked much smaller soft but hard he was big enough to damage Isten and Isten was careful with his prep.

The last of Isten’s come, which was becoming tacky, Isten smeared over Adder’s cock as he stroked the man back to full arousal, which didn’t take long. Apparently Adder had liked the show.

With his fingers digging into Adder’s shoulder, Isten shifted himself forwards until he was pressed up against the man’s stomach, before he reached behind him and began to guide Adder’s cock into his asshole. Adder’s breathing hitched palpably as Isten eased himself down. He had to force himself to relax in order to allow Adder inside of him but once the head of Adder’s cock slipped inside, Isten made a noise of pained desire, which Adder echoed it with a wordless grunt.

Isten continued to guide Adder inside him until he was most of the way and he put both his hands on Adder’s shoulders, grimacing at the burn in his ass. Then Adder shifted his hips slightly and Isten’s breath caught at the movement and he paused.

Without any warning, Adder suddenly rolled his hips upwards, shoving himself fully inside Isten and Isten wailed at the pain of it, digging his nails viciously hard into the meat of Adder’s shoulders.

“Bastard.” Isten gasped, leaning against Adder’s chest as he struggled to relax and catch his breath. Adder twitched at the press of Isten against his wounds but Isten didn’t care and he rested his chin on Adder’s shoulder as he gathered himself. He could imagine the smugness that would be on the Tern’s face and, sure enough, when Isten did lean back to look at Adder, he found satisfaction in the man’s face.

“You like causing me pain?” Isten said tightly. He was sweating, but as he gingerly shifted on Adder’s cock, clenching and relaxing his ass, it gradually began to feel pleasurable and he got the satisfaction of seeing Adder’s smugness transition into raw desire. Now that Adder was fully seated inside Isten, and Isten’s weight was pinning the man’s legs down, Adder couldn’t do anything to abate his need except wait for Isten to move, which he did after a while.

Starting to fuck himself on Adder’s cock in earnest, Adder added a small, extra thrust to each of Isten’s movements and if the Tern was trying to cause Isten discomfort, he was failing, because Isten was fully enjoying Adder’s additions.

Adder didn’t give any indication before he came, hard, inside of Isten, his hips bucking up against Isten’s ass as he dropped his head back and his chest shuddered. Isten smiled to see it and he leant down to suck one of Adder’s nipples into his mouth, making Adder’s breathing catch.

As Adder finished, Isten reached up to touch the back of Adder’s skull, finding the ties on the gag and picking them undone. Adder watched him with eyes that had previously been clouded with release but now clear and analysing.

When Isten got the knots free, he pulled the gag from between Adder’s swollen lips and tossed it aside. Adder moved his jaw side to side like it ached. His lips were slick with saliva. On an impulse, Isten leaned forwards to press his mouth to Adder’s, only to feel Adder’s teeth latch painfully onto Isten’s bottom lip, hard enough that Isten froze, scared that Adder would tear the flesh right off his face.

Soundlessly sliding his knife free of its sheath at his side, Isten dug the point into Adder’s ribs. After a second, Adder unlocked his jaw and released Isten’s lip and Isten leaned back, sliding his knife away to reach up to probe the painful skin. The fact that Adder hadn’t immediately torn his lip from his face probably meant that Adder had only meant it as a warning, and Isten didn’t try to kiss him again, but began again to ride the man’s hips.

Adder’s cock had softened after his orgasm but Isten’s cock was mostly hard and Isten was sure Adder had a second one in him. Adder winced as Isten initially began moving again, and the Tern clenched his jaw, but he relaxed a minute or so later and began making low noises of pleasure, his cock firming again inside Isten. This time it was lubricated by Adder’s come and Isten moved more easily, making small moans of pleasure when Adder started to push up deeper into him with small, jerky thrusts.

“Fuck.” Isten hissed and wrapped his arms around Adder’s shoulder, pressing them chest to chest. Isten’s rhythm stuttered when he felt Adder’s teeth on his shoulder. The man bit down hard enough to make Isten exhale sharply in pain before he drew back.

“Was that meant to hurt?” Isten muttered next to Adder’s ear, before he caught Adder’s ear lobe between his teeth and tugged on it. He didn’t do it hard because Adder seemed averse to pain in a way Isten wasn’t, and Isten instead moved to tuck his head into Adder’s neck as he chased his release, moving up and down on Adder’s cock with increased speed before putting a hand down between their stomach to circle his cock. He wouldn’t need much he was so close, and his chest heaved at the burn in his aching ass and his thighs.

Adder continued to mouth Isten’s shoulder and neck and, just as Isten was getting close, Adder bit down especially hard and Isten came hard, clenching down on Adder’s cock as he cried out. Adder grunted and, thrusting up into Isten hard, he, too, came and Isten felt the man’s come inside his ass for a second time, slick and viscous.

Panting, Isten slumped against Adder and felt the thumping of the Tern’s heart inside his chest. Isten lay there for a minute for more as Adder went soft inside Isten and they both caught their breath. In his haze, Isten wished briefly that Adder’s arms were around him, as Isten’s were around Adder’s tense shoulders, and the thought made Isten ease himself away, reminding himself sharply that Adder was the enemy.

Glancing over at the hut’s door in a moment of paranoia, Isten pulled off Adder with a wince, feeling the man’s come slide down the inside of his leg. It was the most humiliating, filthiest feeling and Isten privately enjoyed it, the feeling of being marked, even as he’d never tell anyone. Adder had marked him enough, anyway, and Isten could feel the sting of the man’s bites all across his left shoulder.

Coming up to standing with a grimace, Isten dragged on his trousers before coming over Adder, who was watching him, to wipe the man’s cock off best as he could with Adder’s shift. Come itched badly as it dried and Isten doubted very much that Adder was going to get the chance to wash. Adder flinched at Isten’s fingers on his cock, gentle as they were, but when Isten moved to tuck Adder in and tug up his trousers, Adder obliged by lifted his hips, though it clearly pained him.

After retying the ties at Adder’s waist, Isten moved off Adder’s legs and freed them from the bindings of Isten’s belt.

Adder’s face tightened in pain as he slowly shifted his legs out of the position they’d been restrained in and, after rethreading his belt through his trouser loops, Isten crouched down to rub the blood back into Adder’s legs. Though Adder grunted in discomfort, he didn’t try to kick Isten again and Isten looked up to find the Tern watching him with dark, confused eyes.

Isten didn’t speak and only kept rubbing Adder’s legs for another minute or so before he stood, picked up his bowl and mug and, casting a final glance at Adder, left the hut. Each step reminded him he’d fucked the Tern and Isten didn’t regret it at all.


	2. Injuries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten pulls some strings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for violence, but this is a fairly chill chapter (relatively) and most of the other tags don't come into play.

Two days later, after dinner, Erlik dragged Isten towards the fighting ring and Isten let him, though he felt something like dread at the prospect of seeing Adder gutted. This would be the Tern’s third or fourth fight and Isten didn’t believe that the man’s luck would hold for much longer, not least because the Hikts would be getting tired of him. Hikts could have a wolf’s patience when it came to hunting, but they also thirsted for blood and they would be howling for the kill soon. Even if Isten offered to buy Adder off Farn, which he’d seriously considered, Isten doubted Farn would be willing to deprive his people of seeing the Tern bled out on the ground.

Adder was dragged into the ring by the rope around his neck, before a kick to the back of his knees sent him sprawling on the ground. Adder’s bonds were cut and then the Hikts got quickly out of the ring as Adder got to his feet.

He looked more alert than he had the last time Isten had seen him fight, but he still looked tired and filthy.

Adder’s eyes roamed the crowd and he turned a slow, full circle. Isten instinctively tilted forwards and Adder picked him out to stare at him and Isten shivered.

“Is he looking at you?” Erlik said to him over the noise of the crowds and Isten glanced at him.

“We fucked.” He said simply, leaving Erlik to assume Isten did the fucking. The Hikts cared less than the Tay about who fucked who, just as long as you were the dominating partner. Submissiveness was left to younger boys, women and cowards.

Erlik laughed, clearly delighted, “He obviously remembers!” He said.

Adder turned away as two new fighters came into the ring. They were Isten’s people, the Tay, and two of the group that had travelled with Isten to live with the Hikts for a time. Their intention was to build bridges with their peoples, so as to better stand together against the Terns.

When the fight began, the Tay men attacked Adder mercilessly and as well as Adder defended himself, he received numerous hits and Isten had to school his features to stop himself from grimacing. Still, Adder managed to protect his head and though he was limping after a debilitating kick to the thigh, he looked far from done. The Hikts were yelling encouragement to the Tays and Isten was glad, at least, that this was a success from a diplomatic perspective.

From nowhere, Adder, true to his name, ran forwards with a cry and lashed out with a vicious kick to the taller Tay’s face, which landed with an audible crack and an explosion of blood from the Tay’s nose. Adder landed badly, staggering, but the Tay went down like a felled tree, and even the other Tay froze to see him fall.

The crowd was momentarily stunned into silence before it rose up with a roar, calling for the remaining Tay to finish Adder. And even as Adder landed a fist to the man’s stomach hard enough to buckle him, the Tay managed to take Adder down by sheer force before he kicked Adder repeatedly in the stomach so that Adder could do little but curl up and take it.

Following a final kick, the Tay grabbed Adder by the hair, wrenching his head up, and the crowd was again asked whether they wanted the Tern dead. The crowd was less decisive and it was several long seconds before the Tay released Adder’s hair and left him crumpled on the floor of the ring: alive, but unmoving. Adder would survive for another round. The Tay helped his comrade to his feet and they raised their arms to the cry of the crowd before heading out to where there would be alcohol and celebrations, and, likely, women.

“Fucking hell!” Erlik said, grinning. “He doesn’t half make things interesting.” Isten gripped Erlik’s shoulder briefly in parting, before Erlik grabbed Isten’s shift.

“Where are you going?” He cried, “Come and drink with us! Celebrate!”

Isten smirked but eased himself, “Maybe later, friend,” he said and Erlik rolled his eyes.

“Enjoy yourself!” He laughed and Isten headed away to find Farn, casting a final glance down at Adder where he was lying where he’d fallen in the ring and two Hikts were approaching to tow him away. Isten wasn’t confident he could do anything to change Adder’s fate but, since he’d defied the odds by surviving this bout, Isten told himself he could at least try to preserve the man.

Farn wasn’t hard to find, but he was surrounded by people and Isten had to wait for a gap in the crowd before he could get close enough to talk to him.

“Good evening.” Isten said, and offered Farn a mug of mead he’d picked up. Farn accepted it gladly, but there was a glint to his eye that showed he knew that Isten wanted something. “I want to buy the mute Tern off you, if he lives.” Isten wasn’t sure Adder would, after all. Being kicked like that could mean something inside you bursting and people didn’t recover from injuries like that.

Farn’s eyebrows rose and he chortled. “Enjoyed him last time?” He said.

Isten smiled, “I did.” He said. He had, and it wasn’t just that the Tern had been available and attractive, but the way he’d responded, after he’d realised what Isten intended. Not all men became aroused for other men but Adder had, and he’d been quite willing to inflict the kind of small, sharp pain that Isten liked, the type that made the pleasure so much better.

Farn leant back in his chair and considered Isten. Isten could guess he was thinking that it would be better to make Isten happy, because it was crucial to keep things sweet between their people, at least until the Terns eased off on their attacks. But he would also be considering how much the Hikts would be thirsting to see Adder killed once and for all.

“His death is expected,” Farn said, stroking his beard and confirming Isten’s thoughts. Isten’s stomach sunk in disappointment. “And yet, perhaps we could compromise.” Isten waited. “A wrestling contest, with the Tern as a prize; to keep or kill as the victor pleases.”

Isten nodded slowly. That might work to Isten’s favour, and it might at least buy Adder a few more days.

“Good idea,” Isten said, “And who would be the contestants?”

“You and another Tay,” Farn decided, “Against two of mine.”

Isten nodded. Those weren’t impossible odds, considering Isten wasn’t a bad wrestler, although he couldn’t confidently say he was a particularly good one, either.

“Very well,” he said.

“Two days time,” Farn said, “Bring your fighter.”

Isten said he would and shook Farn’s arm, accepting the mead the man offered him. He spent the rest of the night getting drunk, before collapsing onto his bedroll to jerk off to thoughts of Adder’s cock.

*

Isten chose a man called Hudlar to come into the ring with him, since the man was an excellent wrestler and seemed keen to gain renown for himself amongst the Hikts and Tay alike. He was also strictly interested in women, so there was little risk that he would demand Isten share their prize. And if he did then Isten ranked just high enough above him to be able to discourage him from demanding it. Isten wanted Adder for himself.

Isten wasn’t overly confident of their victory, but he was cautiously hopeful, and he set his jaw grimly when the Hikt fighters came into the ring, stripped to the waist as Isten and Hudlar were. They were both tall and powerful and the darker haired one had an especially cruel look that Isten didn’t want to be on the receiving end of.

Adder had been brought out and was kneeling at Farn’s feet. The Tern looked faintly ill and dazed, though he’d clearly been washed and his clothes changed to something finer. Isten clenched his fist when he saw the man. He wanted Adder well, not starved and sick, and he had to force himself to pay attention to the fight.

Afterwards, Isten could hardly remember what had happened, apart from that he had done his best to keep himself off the floor and had somehow managed it, throwing the Hikt he’d been grappling with to the floor with an almighty effort, before he scrambled away, gaining victory and the crowd’s cheers. Hudlar struggled more and Isten watched anxiously as he and his fighter went at it for a second time, with Hudlar almost being floored by a hit to the head, before he finally managed to flip the Hikt onto his back and stagger away.

Farn himself came down to shake Isten’s arm, though he didn’t bring Adder with him, because it was obvious that Isten was going to choose to keep Adder alive, and that would not be considered a good end to the fight.

“You won him fairly.” Farn said, later, after Isten had embraced Hudlar and handed him some coin for his help, and the gone to drag on a shift to ward off the chill.

Farn reached out to pat Isten’s arm and Isten bowed. “Many thanks.” He said, “Your generosity is greatly appreciated.”

“Just keep him in your tent for a while.” Farn advised. “Let them forget he still lives. I have other Terns that can be put in the ring.”

Isten nodded. “I shall.” He agreed. It was strategically sound.

Farn shrugged, and then laughed, “Well then, go and enjoy your prize.” He said, “He is in your tent. Though he is somewhat sickly.”

Isten inclined his head and headed away, his heart still beating fiercely from the fight, and in anticipation of seeing the Tern again, and also fear that he’d gained Adder only for the man to die. He commandeered a server on the way and had him hold two bowls of broth while Isten carried flagons of mead.

Shouldering the fabric of his tent door aside, Isten came in with the mead, which he set down, taking the broth off the server before sending him away for a torch, which Isten put in a metal stand when it came.

“Thank you.” Isten said to the man, who nodded quickly before running off. The torch illuminated Adder’s slumped form in the centre of Isten’s tent, restrained hand and foot, but the Tern raised his head in response to the light.

Isten brought the food and drink over and eased Adder up to sitting, though the Tern groaned.

“What is it?” Isten muttered, already tugging up the man’s shift. Adder’s hands were bound in front of him this time and Adder tried to bat Isten’s fingers away, but Isten persisted.

The Tern’s stomach and ribs were bruised and swollen badly and Isten winced at the thought of the force that the Tay must have used to injure Adder like this. Isten looked up at Adder’s face and found the man looking back at him blearily.

Isten clenched his jaw in irritation but went to bring the broth and mead close enough that he could feed the Tern. After eating a spoonful of the broth himself, both to show that it wasn’t drugged and to check the temperature, Isten scooped up some of the liquid and offered it to Adder. Adder’s brows were pinched critically and he looked at what was on the spoon for several moments before he opened his mouth and let Isten give it to him.

Isten watched curiously as Adder tilted his head back and the muscles of his throat moved as he swallowed. A small amount of liquid dripped from the side of Adder’s mouth and Isten half-expected the man’s tongue to dart out to catch it, but, of course, it couldn’t.

Isten leaned back slightly to consider him, before looking down at the broth. Some of the pieces were large enough that Adder would choke if he didn’t chew them but Isten wasn’t sure how the man would manage that without his tongue to move the food. He fed Adder another spoonful of liquid in the meantime, before deciding to mash the potato under the spoon, making the broth into a kind of mush.

After about half the bowl and a couple of sips of mead, Adder closed his lips and refused to eat any more and Isten nodded and eased back to wolf down his own meal, and then the rest of Adder’s. When he was done, he offered Adder more mead, which was accepted, though Adder could only take small amounts at a time.

“Is anything broken?” Isten said, more to himself than Adder, as he lifted the man’s shift again. Adder glared at him tiredly and he made a noise of pain when Isten gently probed at the swollen, discoloured skin, trying to push Isten away with his bound hands. Frowning, Isten continued carefully, pausing when Adder flinched badly and gritted his teeth at Isten.

“There?” Isten said, still not sure whether Adder even understood him. The Terns spoke the same language as the Hikts and the Tay, but Isten wasn’t sure whether his accent was too strong for the Tern to understand, since Isten himself had trouble understand the Hikt accent at times. He didn’t get any response except Adder’s glare.

Isten heaved a sigh and, picking up the bowls to return to the mess tent, he headed out of the tent to find a healer.

“Is he conscious?” The man, a healer called Orobas, asked Isten as they were heading back towards Adder. Isten said he was and explained Adder’s injuries as best as he was able.

Adder’s eyes were closed when Isten came back inside, but they opened quickly and narrowed into a glare when he saw Orobas behind him. Isten wondered briefly whether Adder knew Orobas or whether it was just Adder’s reaction to a second man. If they did know one another from Adder’s time doing fights, Orobas gave no indication of it.

“Let’s have a look then.” Orobas said as he came to crouch in front of Adder, lifting up his shift to probe at Adder’s abdomen as Isten had done. Adder grunted and his tied hands came up to push Orobas away.

“Watch his teeth.” Isten said sharply, when he thought Orobas’s head was rather too close to Adder’s face. He wouldn’t put it past Adder to tear off someone’s ear. Adder glowered at Isten over Orobas’s shoulder as Orobas moved backwards, and then Adder’s face contorted in pain and, with a grunt, he went to kick Orobas.

Orobas mostly avoided Adder’s feet but he was more careful as he continued to examine Adder.

“Certainly damaged,” Orobas said, pulling away, leaving Adder glaring, a sheen of sweat on his skin showing the extent of his pain. “Possibly broken.” Orobas shrugged, glancing over at Isten, “I don’t think he’s bleeding inside, which is lucky. There’s not much I can do for injured ribs except medicine for the pain and rest, since they don’t seem badly out of place.” Isten nodded, relieved, at least, that it was nothing life-threatening. “Keep him eating and drinking.” Orobas said. “If he gets worse, or those cuts gets infected, I have leeches, but I don’t think he needs them yet.” Adder scowled harder.

Isten nodded. “Thank you.” He said and Orobas pulled some kind of bark out of his bag, got to his feet and offered the bundle to Isten. Adder’s eyes tracked it with suspicion.

“Black willow bark, for the pain.” Orobas said. “If he’ll take it. No more than one of those sticks every few hours, and don’t give it to him on an empty stomach.” Orobas glanced back at Adder, who was watching him. “Is this the Tern with no tongue?” Orobas asked and Adder visibly stiffened.

“Yes.” Isten confirmed, “Do you know how it happened?” He asked.

Orobas shook his head, his attention on Adder. “Could have been his own people, could have been us.” He said magnanimously. “Would I lose my finger if I tried to look?”

Isten huffed a laugh. “Probably.” He said.

Orobas shrugged again and shot Isten a smile, “He seems sharp enough, I think he’ll pull through. If you see any infection, bring him to me straight away.” Isten accepted the bark with thanks, handed Orobas the number of coins he asked for, and Orobas patted Isten on the shoulder before taking his leave.

Isten slowly sat down in front of Adder, fingering the bark. He pulled one of brown-black curls out and put a corner in his mouth to gauge how tough it was. Adder’s eyes were on him as Isten chewed, grimacing at the bitterness.

He held out the rest of the stick to Adder, who looked silently between Isten and the bark. He made no obvious move to refuse so Isten shifted closer and tore off a small chunk to offer it to Adder, who took it between his teeth after a few seconds and Isten helped him swallow it with a sip of mead. He fed Adder about half the stick in small pieces, before standing up to stash the rest of it away.

When he turned away he found Adder’s eyelids obviously drooping, even as he was clearly trying to stay awake.

“Time for you to sleep.” Isten said, glancing around his tent. There was his bedroll and furs to the side, with his chest and jewellery, alongside his boots, clothes and armour on the other side. Adder was currently slumped in between and Isten wondered where to put him.

“Come on, then.” He said finally, coming behind Adder to take hold of him under the arms. Adder flinched, and then cried out sharply in pain when Isten clenched his jaw and dragged Adder across the packed earth to his bedroll, straining to move the man’s weight.

When Isten got him there, Adder fell forwards, gasping in obvious pain and Isten frowned. He hoped he hadn’t just worsened Adder’s injuries, but he didn’t see any other option, considering he only had one bedroll and one set of furs, and the nights were cold enough to freeze.

When Adder had recovered enough to pull himself upright, the glare he sent Isten’s way was lethal and Isten looked back at him, unimpressed.

They both tensed when a group of soldiers moved noisily past the tent and Isten dragged a tired hand through his hair.

Isten stood up to fetch something to fasten Adder down with – which turned out to be a length of cord he kept in case his tent tore – and then, after manoeuvring Adder into place, much to the Tern’s dislike, he lifted the man’s bound wrists up and tied them to one of the four wooden poles that supported the tent. They were driven well into the ground, so Adder wouldn’t be able to move it. Adder glowered at him throughout and Isten paused to look at him for several seconds. Adder’s permanent frown was set deep into his face, his skin caked with dried blood on one side, and his short hair was sticking up every which way, except for where it was glued to his scalp with muck.

“Bath tomorrow.” Isten muttered. He moved away to shuck off his boots and his outer layers, including his knife belt, hanging them up out of the way of the way of the bugs. Adder wasn’t wearing boots, had been going about barefoot, which Isten frowned at. He’d have to get the Tern some footwear.

With Adder’s eyes tracking him, Isten got up to put out the torch before carefully feeling his way back towards Adder. The lit fires outside were enough to somewhat illuminate the tent once Isten’s eyes had adjusted and he slid down under his furs in front of Adder without too much difficulty.

Feeling around for Adder, who flinched with a growl under Isten’s fingers, Isten lifted up the furs and laid them over them both. Shivering, Isten shifted backwards to be closer to Adder, who was as tense as a bowstring.

Isten was exhausted, though, after the long day and the stress of the fight and, with the shallow movements of Adder’s chest at his back, Isten slid into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DallasK - Self Control.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdxD6sP32yU 
> 
> I was listening to this song the other day and the lyrics, for me, are perfect. The edge of losing control, of being strangers but still connected, of searching for company in a hostile place, and being held down by each other. Let me think if it applies more to Adder or Isten, if you want :)
> 
> I was gonna leave  
> But you walked right through the door  
> Caught up in my mind  
> Couldn't think straight anymore  
> The way you held me down like an anchor  
> Put a weight on my heart that I never felt before  
> And I'm just looking for company  
> When I know that I shouldn't be  
> You should go and find someone  
> I hope that you don't find no one but me  
> Turn around, walk away  
> Cause I know that if you stay here  
> I'll lose my self control  
> Go before it's too late  
> There's no way that you can stay here  
> I've got no self control  
> I wanna hold you close  
> But I keep telling myself  
> That you should run away  
> Cause you got somebody else  
> And it shouldn't be this way with a stranger  
> I know  
> But what I feel for you isn't something I can help  
> I'm just looking for company  
> When I know that I shouldn't be  
> You should go and find someone
> 
> I hope that you don't find no one but me  
> Turn around, walk away  
> Cause I know that if you stay here  
> I'll lose my self control  
> Go before it's too late  
> There's no way that you can stay here  
> I've got no self control  
> There's no way that you can stay here  
> I've got no self control  
> Turn around, walk away  
> Cause I know that if you stay here  
> I'll lose my self control, yeah  
> Go before it's too late  
> There's no way that you can stay here  
> I've got no self control  
> Turn around, walk away  
> Cause i know that if you stay here  
> I'll lose my self control  
> Go before it's too late  
> There's no way that you can stay here  
> I've got no self control, oh no  
> There's no way that you can stay here  
> I've got no self control


	3. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adder gets a little rough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're starting to earn the tags here, so just watch out. It's a short one but next week's will be chunkier. Things are definitely getting moving. Also huge thanks to Imperial_Dragon for being an epic beta and knocking some sense into my rambling, even on short notice. You're amazing :)

Isten was woken by a sharp pain at the junction between neck and shoulder and he froze. His first thought, absurdly, was that a wolf had their teeth pressed to his skin, before he came to his senses and realised that it was Adder.

“Get off.” Isten snapped irritably, pushing his elbow behind him to dig into Adder’s ribs and the teeth left his neck. Isten sat up in the early dawn light to look behind him and predictably found Adder glaring at him. The Tern’s arms were stretched up uncomfortably over his head where Isten had tied them and Isten moved sluggishly to untie the string that bound Adder to the tent post.

As soon as his hands were freed, though still tied together, Adder tried to sit up and Isten shifted around to help him, putting an arm around Adder’s back. Adder glared at him but didn’t protest, grimacing in pain from the damage done to his stomach. 

Isten’s bladder tightened as he moved and Isten exhaled in understanding.

“You need to piss.” Isten said, lifting his brows. Adder, as usual, didn’t give any indication of understanding, but his eyes were sharp on Isten’s face and Isten shrugged. Even if it wasn’t the reason, Adder would need to go soon. They’d both drunk a fair amount of mead the previous night.

After fumbling with boots and shivering through getting on his extra layers, Isten came back to Adder and drew his knife. Adder stiffened and Isten pointed the knife at him.

“Don’t try anything.” He said firmly, holding Adder’s eyes for a moment before sliding the knife away and crouching to pick at the knots at Adder’s ankles. It took long enough that Isten began to consider cutting them, before he finally got them undone and came to his feet, moving out of the range of being kicked in the head.

With the necessary caution, and being careful of Adder’s ribs, Isten managed to get Adder outside, where the camp lay silent in the early morning.

Their breath made small clouds in the cold air as Isten led Adder a short way from his tent. Since Adder’s hands were tied in front of him, Isten left Adder to relieve himself while he did the same, angling his body away from Adder, although not so much that he couldn’t keep an eye on the Tern. Isten waited for the man to finish pissing and retie his trousers before he took hold of Adder’s arm and led him back to the tent.

Since the camp was still blissfully quiet, Isten decided to take Adder to the stream to bathe after he’d picked up some spare clothes. Stripping off his own boots and shift, he tugged the reluctant Tern into the deeper part of icy water which reached up around his knees. Isten’s skin was almost instantly numb on contact and he moved quickly to scrub himself. Adder stood there irritably, not making any movement towards cleaning himself.

When Isten was done he turned to Adder, “Kneel,” he said. Adder only glared at him sulkily. With the cold making his patience run thin, Isten lashed out with a kick to the back of Adder’s knees and forced the Tern to drop into the freezing water.

Adder exclaimed in anger and before Isten could react Adder had grabbed the belt of Isten’s trousers and dragged Isten down into the foot-deep water with him. Isten gasped as the icy water knocked the breath out of him and he looked over at Adder in outrage, only to find the man grinning toothily.

Isten released a sharp laugh, “Damn you,” he said, shuddering with cold, and splashed Adder in the face. Adder turned his head away from the cascade of droplets and glowered at him, even as a satisfied smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Isten shook his head, sending water flying, before coming closer to Adder, who watched him warily. Isten looked over Adder’s filthy hair and face critically and, scooping up a handful of water, poured it over Adder’s head and began to try to dislodge the filth.

Adder tugged his head away and glared at Isten and, in a fit of spite, Isten grabbed a handful of Adder’s hair and, with a forceful hand on the man’s chest, shoved him backwards to dunk him under the water. Adder kicked out viciously but Isten managed to hold him under long enough to scrub Adder’s hair and face with his palm before he released him and Adder came up to gasp at the air with his hair plastered to his skull like a seal.

The look in his eyes was murderous as he spat out a mouthful of water and Isten instinctively shifted backwards. But it was too late and Adder’s bound hands shot out and grabbed Isten’s neck between his big palms, his fingers clamping tight around Isten’s throat. Isten choked, his eyes going wide, and he tried to push Adder away, but couldn’t reach, and then Adder was bearing down on him, shoving him into the dark water.

The rushing water cut off Isten’s hearing and Isten barely had the presence of mind not to inhale a lungful of water as Adder’s cruel hands on his neck held him submerged and refused to let him up again. Panicking, Isten tried to kick out, tried to land a knee to Adder’s groin or damaged ribs, but Adder moved on top of Isten, straddling him and holding him down with all his considerable weight and Isten couldn’t dislodge the bigger man. Writhing desperately, Adder’s grip didn’t relent and Isten’s lungs burned, his heart beating far too fast, and he had the desperate, panicked thought that Adder was going to drown him for real. Isten went lax as his vision was beginning to grey at the edges and then, finally, finally, Adder hauled him up out of the water.

Isten fell forwards to vomit up several mouthful of stream water with huge, lurching, painful wretched gasps. When enough water had ran out of his ears to allow him to hear, he heard the awful noises coming out of his mouth and tried to quieten them, even as his lungs burned. As he blinked water out of his eyes, he found himself staring, mouth open, at Adder, who stared right back. Isten lashed out to hit Adder’s chest, hitting him repeatedly and hard enough that his knuckles ached, until Adder snatched at Isten’s wrist with his bound hands and, still gasping, Isten collapsed against Adder’s chest and stayed there, shuddering with cold. Adder had tensed initially, before stilling and Isten panted as he caught his breath.

“Fuck.” Isten said, when he had enough breath to do so. “You could have fucking killed me.” Adder’s teeth latched almost gently onto Isten’s shoulder and Isten pushed up into it, forcing himself against Adder’s immoveable warmth in place of the shifting iciness of the stream. He stayed there, resting against the man whose hands had just been around his throat, lax and cold and exhausted, for as long as he could bear the cold, because he didn’t want to move. He hadn’t felt this alive since he’d last been in battle. Being around Adder was like touching static.

When Isten’s teeth started chattering uncontrollably, Isten pulled himself away and staggered to his feet. Adder, white as snow with the cold but looking far more composed than Isten felt, followed him up to standing and they staggered over the rocky stream-bed over to the bank to climb up onto the bank.

Isten grabbed at the towels he’d brought and forcibly rubbed the Tern down, though he was careful around the man’s wounds. The linen towel, dirty as it already was, was further stained by Adder’s blood and stubborn clots of dirt that hadn’t been shaken from Adder’s hair despite the water. Still, the Tern looked much cleaner and Isten eyed the shivering, glaring man in appreciation. Unbound and his torso un-blotted with purple, the Tern would cut a striking figure indeed, even as he acted like a brute.

Adder had winced as Isten dried his stomach, but his eyes had remained locked on Isten’s face and Isten grinned at him viciously.

“Enjoyed scaring me?” Isten said, even as he was still inwardly jittering with the rush of it. Adder _had_ scared him.

Adder grinned back, wildly, and, shifting his weight with a grimace, he rolled Isten onto his back and crouched over him like a wolf. Isten let him, laying his head back on the cold, dew-wet grass to look up at Adder. Dawn was just rising and Isten turned his head to look into it.

He started when he felt one of his towels being rubbed over his chest and belly and he cocked his head at Adder as the man roughly towelled Isten dry. When he was done with Isten’s torso, Adder, his eyes rarely leaving Isten’s face, tugged Isten’s wet trousers away from his hips and pressed the towel down into Isten’s groin, making Isten buckle upwards in shock. Adder grinned, pulling the towel out again before lifting his leg off Isten only to take Isten by his trouser loops and flip him onto his stomach.

Isten made an undignified squawk of surprise and tried to get up, only for Adder to press the towel down hard on Isten’s spine, holding him down on his stomach before drying his back. Adder spent a few seconds towelling Isten’s back before he seemed to get bored and stood up, dropping the towel on Isten’s head.

Irritably, Isten tugged the towel away and followed Adder to his feet, gathering up his shift and boots before he took Adder by the arm and headed back towards camp. Adder, moving up close behind him, wouldn’t let them leave until he’d pressed his teeth into Isten’s shoulder for the thousandth time.


	4. Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten realises the danger he's been toying with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one may be short but it certainly earns the warnings folks, so read the tags and look after yerselves. Hope you like it <3
> 
> \- also, I'm currently on a boat (!!) with temperamental wifi and a laptop with minimal charge so if next week's update doesn't show up, that would be why. I'll be back by sunday, so it will go up then, if I don't manage the Friday :)

A day later, Isten shoved the tent door aside as he strode inside, glancing over Adder’s reclining, half-asleep form on the bedroll before he sat down heavily on the ground and dragged his boots off, throwing them down in a fit of irritation.

Adder’s expression was distinctly unimpressed at Isten’s show of temper and Isten glared at him. It wasn’t Adder’s people who were being slaughtered for _no fucking good reason_. No, it was Adder’s people doing the fucking killing, like the base, cruel animals the Terns were. Isten hunched forwards to glare at the ground, the news hanging heavily inside his head.

The Terns had been spotted in large numbers marching towards the Tay: Isten’s people, his home. The place he should have been. _Fucking damn it_. He dragged his hands through his hair. The Terns weren’t meant to be able to mobilise this fast.

Isten didn’t hear Adder move but the Tern was suddenly behind him and he went rigid as Adder touched his shoulder. He didn’t know what the Tern wanted but his shock that Adder wasn’t secured to the tent support quickly dissolved in place of all the anger and fear and he snapped his elbow around with all of the strength of his arm, hitting Adder hard in the face.

There was the sick sound of bone hitting bone but Adder didn’t make a sound and Isten twisted around to see Adder tilted sideways, stunned by the blow, which had broken the skin of his cheekbone. Isten froze, staring, and Adder blinked.

Then a switch seemed to flick in Adder’s head and his gaze lifted and Isten’s whole body tensed in fear. He threw himself away towards the tent door in an attempt to get out of Adder’s reach, but Adder’s bound hands shot out like lightning to grab Isten's shift, wrenching Isten towards him hard enough that the fabric tore even as it choked him.

His hands scrabbling at the material cutting off his breathing, Isten writhed desperately but Adder manhandled him down on his stomach with brutal, terrifying force and Isten wailed as he was thrown down and the breath was knocked out of him.

Adder’s weight pressed down on his thighs and he tensed as he felt Adder’s hand on his hip, drawing his knife. Isten's hands came up to cover his head in terror, certain that Adder was going to drive that knife into his back, but he heard instead the sawing of rope and he twisted his head around to see Adder awkwardly cutting the rope from his hands.

It only took a moment and then the cord dropped from Adder’s chafed wrists and landed on Isten’s back. Adder bared his teeth at Isten in an expression that was entirely a wolf’s growl and none of a human’s grin, before he was shifting his weight, which was entirely on the back of Isten’s thighs, pinning him down, forwards.

The cord that Adder had cut from his wrists was abruptly jammed in-between Isten’s teeth and Isten tried to squirm away, to cry out, to push the rough rope out of his mouth, but Adder was too strong and his head was bent back, arching his back, as Adder secured the rope behind Isten’s head, gagging him. _I did do that to you_ , Isten thought bleakly.

Isten tried to use his arms to drag himself from under Adder’s weight but Adder just took hold of Isten’s wrists in one of his big hands and rolled his hips forwards with a grunt, pressing his groin into Isten’s ass.

Isten froze with the realisation that Adder was hard and he cried out into the gag, struggling harder to get away. This wasn’t just about domination and revenge: Adder could really hurt him, and Isten sobbed. He tried to kick his legs up to hit Adder in the back, tried to roll over to throw Adder off, but he felt the point of his own knife being pressed into the tender skin just below his ear, where his jaw met his neck, and he stilled, shivering.

With one hand still pinning Isten’s hands to the ground, Adder trailed the knife around his neck until it was at the top of his spine and then he slid the point under the fabric of Isten’s shift and began to cut the fabric away from his skin.

Isten pressed his forehead to the floor and cried in great, wrenching sobs. Adder was going to rape him and then probably kill him and Isten was terrified. _I’m sorry_ , he wanted to beg, _Please,_ _I don’t want this_.

But Adder wasn’t listening and didn’t care and when he’d cut away Isten’s shift, he grasped Isten’s trousers and dragged them down past his hips with force, exposing his ass and thighs to the cold air.

With the knife momentarily away from his skin, Isten bucked again, trying to drag himself away, before the hand that had been pinning his wrists was suddenly pressed to the back of Isten’s neck and he choked and fell limp. It wasn’t a suffocating grip, but it held the threat that Adder could crush his throat, _crack_ , with just a hard, downward push. So Isten just lay there and didn’t do anything except flinch when Adder put a finger to his ass.

He whimpered when Adder pushed it inside and tears continued to spill down his face as Adder pressed more fingers inside, moving them around. Isten shuddered and cried out in pain, then, because it _burned_ and he felt sick, and Adder didn’t care, and he had just wanted someone. He’d just been so lonely. He’d wanted Adder’s strength, but he’d wanted Adder to hold him, not to hurt him like this. _I would have given this to you_ , he thought, and then, _please stop, please, I’ll forgive you, if you just stop now_.

Isten screamed around the gag when Adder tried to push his fingers in deeper and he felt Adder still, suddenly, but he didn’t even care.

Adder’s weight lifted off Isten’s half-numb thighs and Isten rolled wretchedly onto his side to curl into a ball, crying like a child. Adder’s fingers were on his head, then, and Isten flinched with a spasm, covering his face with his hands so that he didn’t have to look at the man, so that Adder wouldn’t see how much he’d hurt him. Because it was pathetic, why should he have trusted his enemy not to hurt him?

But Adder was picking the gag undone and pulling it out of Isten’s sore jaw, away from where his lip was bleeding where the rope had chafed it, and then he was being pulled towards Adder’s chest. He gave a full-body flinch, still hiding his face, and Adder paused.

“Please,” Isten begged, “I’m sorry, please stop, Adder, stop, I’m sorry,”

Isten heard Adder swallow and then the man, with a gentleness Isten didn’t know the Tern possessed, eased his hands away from his face. Soft touches brushed at Isten’s tear-streaked cheeks and he dared to open his eyes.

He found Adder looking down at him with such regret on his face that Isten’s breath caught in his chest. Isten couldn’t stop himself from flinching when Adder moved his head forwards but all the Tern did was press his lips to Isten’s forehead. A silent apology.

All of the tension seeped out of Isten and he went completely limp against Adder, too drained to do anything else. He felt ill and numb. Adder’s arms closed around Isten’s back, at first lightly and then more securely, and the Tern continued to pepper Isten’s skin with soft, barely-there kisses and Isten didn’t have the willpower to push the man away but just cried quietly into Adder’s shoulder until he was almost asleep.

When Adder moved him over to the bedroll, Isten went, unresisting, and let Adder cover them both in furs. Isten flinched when Adder draped his arm over Isten’s waist but he didn’t try to move away when Adder pulled their bodies snug against one another. Feeling bloodless, he didn’t move at all from where Adder had lain him down and, staring blankly ahead at the shadowy tent wall in front of him, he eventually collapsed into sleep.


	5. Changeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take an unexpected turn for Isten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything's picking up pace now and here's a longer one after the shorter ones we've had the last couple of weeks :) Again, there are some dark scenes, so watch out for yourself.   
> Hope you enjoy!

Isten woke to a strange orange glow and his shoulder being shaken hard. He came groggily to his senses, only to see Adder crouched over him and he flinched away from the Tern. The look on Adder’s face was pained, but it didn’t stop him from grabbing at Isten’s arms, pulling him up to seated.

Confused and scared and still half-asleep, Isten tried weakly to push Adder away from him even as he was looking around. It was as bright outside as if it were daylight, but the light was a stark orange and it flickered. A sharp cry from outside and the clash of swords made Isten startle and he ceased his half-hearted attempt to keep Adder away from him.

Fully awake and his heart pounding, Isten glanced at Adder and found the man looking back at him. He didn’t seem to know what was going on either, but he’d put on one of Isten’s too-small jackets and he’d been trying to put Isten’s feet into trousers as Isten had been pushing him away.

The smell of smoke was suddenly thick in the air and it jolted Isten into action. Dragging the trousers up to his hips, he tied the ties with shaking fingers before tugging off the remains of his shift and tugging on a different one. Then he shoved his feet into boots and grabbed his knife-belt.

Adder had picked up Isten’s sword and didn’t seem inclined to give it back and Isten didn’t have the strength to argue with him, not when the defensive part of his brain was still twitching, terrified, after what Adder had done just hours before. Instead, Isten just grabbed a bag and shoved anything of value within reaching distance into it, including some letters and a metal bracelet that had been his father’s, before he was on his feet and heading towards the tent door, glancing back to see Adder following him.

Isten paused at the entrance, sticking his head out warily with his knife clenched in his fist, but his tent was facing away from whatever was happening and Isten couldn’t see anything. Things were ominously quiet. After a moment, Adder came past him to move outside, keeping low. His face was tight with discomfort and the hand that wasn’t holding the sword was curled around his ribs. He moved carefully forwards as if to go around the side of Isten’s tent but a sudden scream made them both freeze and Isten watched as more soldiers began to emerge from their tents, taken by surprise and only scantily armed.

Isten cast a glance up at the cloudy sky and prayed that this wasn’t a Tern attack, even as he feared that was exactly what it was.

The sounds of fighting were getting louder, as was the crackling of flames and, when the wind turned towards Isten it carried the stench of smoke, thick enough to choke on.

Before Isten could act, Adder grabbed his arm in a merciless grip and towed him out to weave through the tents towards the fire and fighting.

Isten allowed himself to be pulled along but his fear at what, or who, was out there was so strong that it was strangling him and he found himself keeping close to Adder, even as he chastised himself. When they were close enough to see the figures fighting, and the tents burning, Isten made out the uniform of the Tern soldiers, and there were so many of them, and he froze, locking up. Adder noticed at the same time and he, too, came to a halt, before turning to look at Isten with a calculating look on his face that Isten didn’t like at all.

Before either of them could act, there were suddenly Tern soldiers heading fast towards them and Adder made the decision for both of them as he dragged Isten with him into the smoke-clogged open and lifted his arms in obvious surrender. Isten quickly did the same. The Tern soldiers coming at them, coated in blood and ash with a feral fury in their faces, didn’t seem like they were going to stop and Isten clenched his teeth and hoped to hell that it would be painless.

But the wave of Tern soldiers mostly passed by them, except for a few that pointed their swords at them and obviously demanded that they drop their weapons, even as Isten’s ears were ringing so loud that he couldn’t hear much of anything. Still, he obediently let his knife fall and saw Adder drop Isten’s sword. Then Adder was falling to his knees and grabbing Isten’s shift to drag him down alongside him.

The attack was over within minutes and Isten and Adder were directed at sword-point to where those that had surrendered were gathered on their knees. Dawn hadn’t yet risen and the orange light of the burning camp, and bodies, flickered over the Hikt and Tay faces while the Terns stood over them, moving with the agitated energy of the victorious.

Isten knelt down beside Adder and shot him a glance. Adder was a Tern; he shouldn’t be on the ground alongside his enemies, but, of course, Adder had no way to communicate what he was.

It was an hour or more, long enough that Isten’s legs were entirely numb, before the Terns started dragging soldiers up and clapping them in handcuffs. Isten tensed when he saw what was happening and shifted back to press his shoulder against Adder’s.

Then Terns were grabbing Isten’s shift to haul him to his feet, and Adder too.

“Up!” They yelled in strongly accented common language, “Up! Move!”

A hard shove and Isten’s numb legs collapsed beneath him. Adder grabbed his arm even as a Tern kicked Isten in the stomach and he cringed away in pain before he managed to stagger to his feet.

Adder made a small noise and Isten twisted around to check on him, only to find that one of the Terns had their hand clamped around Adder’s chin, staring at him. Adder’s eyes were open wide, his fist clenched by his side but he didn’t move.

“He looks Tern.” The soldier said to another Tern before releasing Adder’s face. He snapped a question at Adder that Isten didn’t understand, the man’s accent too strong for Isten to untangle his words. The Tern took hold of Adder’s hand and pushed his sleeve up, finding the marks of rope-burn there. The Tern’s expression was more certain when he looked back at Adder’s face.

Isten stepped towards Adder to tell them that Adder couldn’t speak, but he was halted by a sword pointed at his chest. Adder, his attention on the Tern in front of him, nodded sharply in response to whatever had been said. When the Tern continued to fire off questions, Adder clenched his jaw and then opened his mouth slowly, baring his severed tongue. The Tern stared at Adder for a second, looking faintly stunned, before he gripped Adder’s shoulder and pushed him in a different direction, away from where the prisoners were being chained.

Isten’s stomach sunk as he saw Adder turning away, but he was glad that at least one of them wasn’t going to be dragged back with the Terns in irons. And perhaps he was relieved to be separated from him, after what Adder had come so close to doing.

But Adder turned around before he’d taken a step away and his arm moved to grab Isten’s arm in a bruising grip, dragging him forwards. The Terns started talking loudly at Adder, gesticulating, and Isten couldn’t understand any of it and Adder just stared at them flatly for several seconds before he looked at Isten.

Adder released Isten’s arm only for his hand to clench tight in Isten’s hair. Isten cried out sharply but couldn’t resist when Adder shoved him to his knees.

The watching Tern soldiers were silent for a moment before the one that seemed to be in charge shrugged.

“Yes,” he said, crystal clear, “Take the slave, then.”

“No!” Isten yelled and thrashed against Adder, before the awful, burning pain in his scalp cut off coherent thought and he was hauled back to his feet. When Adder released his grip on Isten’s hair and tried to drag him away with a crushing grip on his wrist, Isten lashed out at Adder’s injured ribs and Adder, enraged like a bear in pain, whipped around to backhand Isten hard enough that his neck snapped sideways and he staggered.

When Adder tugged at him again, Isten was too stunned to resist but stumbled blindly at Adder. The word _slave_ wouldn’t leave his head. Adder would- Adder would be able to do anything he wanted.

Adder was being led by one of the Tern soldiers and he took them towards a richly dressed man on a horse. The Tern seemed to introduce Adder, gesturing towards Adder’s mouth, and then Adder put his fist to his shoulder and bowed. The movement startled Isten and he stared at Adder.

“And who is this?” The man on the horse, a general of some kind Isten supposed, said in common and Isten startled when Adder’s hand landed on the back of Isten’s neck.

“He’s claimed him.” The Tern soldier said.

“Yes?” The general said, looking surprised, “Interesting.” His gaze skimmed Isten in a way that made Isten uneasy and then the general gestured for them to leave and the Tern soldier spoke quickly to Adder. In amongst the man’s accent, Isten picked out the word ‘horse’ and then the soldier patted Adder on the shoulder, sent Isten a filthy look, and left them alone in amongst the smouldering ruins of the camp.

Not a hundred feet away, Isten could hear his people, the ones who wouldn’t surrender, being slaughtered and he shuddered and refused, like a coward, to turn around.

Adder looked over at Isten, and he struggled not to recoil from the Tern. Their whole dynamic had shifted and the dark glint in Adder’s eyes said that he knew it.

Then Adder tugged Isten towards one of the unburnt tents and crouched to uproot one of the lines of cord holding the tent to the ground before tearing the other end from the tent fabric. He glanced over Isten critically and tugged Isten’s bag from where he had it hanging from his shoulder, even as Isten protested. Adder slung it onto his own back, wincing at the twist involved with the movement, before he took Isten’s arms and tied the piece of cord securely around his wrists, binding Isten’s hands. Isten couldn’t have resisted even if he’d been given a second to try, Adder’s grip was just too strong. After Adder had bound him, the tent cord left a length of slack which Adder tugged on as he moved away without so much as glancing at Isten and Isten stumbled once before trailing numbly after Adder, like livestock.

Towing Isten behind him, Adder wove through the tents until he found what he’d apparently been looking for; a sword. This one was lying on the body of a dead Tern and Adder clasped it and tested the balance, his expression darkly satisfied as he stripped the corpse of his scabbard and belt, and then his boots, which Adder shoved his feet into.

When Adder stood, the sword now hanging long and lethal at his side, he turned dispassionately to look around them before he took off striding into the gusting smoke and Isten followed after him, pressing his elbow to his face to keep from inhaling the fumes, the smoke from the tents, and the burning remains of the Hikts that hadn’t surrendered and Isten’s fellow Tay.

Within a few hundred meters, they came across a couple of loosed horses that the Terns hadn’t yet gathered up and Adder led Isten towards them.

The one horse, a bay, bolted as soon as they got near, and the other, a grey, went to do the same, but its reins were wrapped up in its rider’s corpse and though the creature managed to drag the dead man ten feet or so, it soon came to a shambling halt, eying Adder and Isten with its eyes rolling wide and white.

Adder came carefully closer and managed to snag the horse’s bridle, stroking a soothing hand over the creature’s sweat-foamed neck. The grey snorted and danced sideways but settled soon enough and Adder, keeping hold of Isten, bent to free the horse’s reins from where they were lodged around the dead Tern’s arm. The Tern’s chest had been gored open all the way down to his groin and, at the sight and wet stench of it, Isten twisted away to throw up, crouching down as faintness abruptly overwhelmed him. He panted, his mouth full of bitterness, and spat out a mouthful of foul saliva.

The touch of Adder’s hand on his shoulder made him start and he came reluctantly forwards, dragging his sleeve over his mouth. Adder, his expression blank but not cruel, gathered up the horse’s reins and mounted smoothly, holding the creature when it startled and pranced. Adder’s power was tangible when he was mounted, with the grey’s striking colouring and Adder seated atop it, tall and proud with the sword lying lethally over his thigh. A light tug on Isten’s cord and Isten grudgingly came to stand by Adder’s calf, reaching up to grip the back of the saddle with his bound hands when Adder indicated for him to mount.

Isten stuck one foot in the stirrup and then, Adder’s hand clenched around his arm, heaved himself up behind him.

The horse startled violently and side-stepped jerkily enough that Isten had to grab at Adder’s shift to stop himself from being unseated. Adder made a noise of pain and, as soon as he was steady, Isten took his hands away from Adder’s injured ribs to hold onto Adder’s sword belt instead. There was no sense in aggravating him.

When Isten was settled, Adder kicked the horse’s sides and they set off back towards the Terns at a jerky trot, even as Isten wished that they could be riding in the opposite direction.

Isten eyed the sword strapped to Adder’s side, the black scabbard lying over his thigh almost in invitation, and wondered whether he could draw it. The angle was all wrong, but Isten considered whether he might strike Adder hard in his bruised ribs and then grab the sword. But even if he could do so, he shivered to think how Adder would retaliate if he failed to strike him down, and what would Isten do then? Where would he go to?

But to sit obediently and wait to see what Adder might do was a terrifying thought, considering the brutality Isten had seen that Adder was capable of. Isten cursed himself, his own weakness and his desire and his carelessness. He’d known he was flirting with fire with Adder but he hadn’t realised just how dangerous, how vicious, the man was.

Isten held his peace for the time being, waiting for another opportunity or so he told himself, slinking down behind Adder’s back as Adder took them back towards the Tern soldiers, where the Hikts and a handful of Tay were being chained. Adder brought his new mount alongside the other men on horses, who turned to eye him curiously, but Adder’s obviously Tern features, his horse and the Tern sword were clearly enough to convince them, since they didn’t confront him.

It was a little past dawn by the time all the prisoners were chained and Isten was wearily leaning his forehead against Adder’s shoulder blade when they finally moved off at a leisurely walk. Isten started at the movement and pulled himself upright to blink around him, but he soon settled back into the tedium of an army march, even as riding was far less tiring than the endless walking he’d experienced in the past. He tried to tune out the clanking of metal some way behind them because he felt too emotionally drained to cope with the thought of the defeat of his people, and his people’s allies. Isten didn’t know where they were headed but he knew that with this, the main branch of the Hikt army, defeated, the Terns would go after the Tay next, and they wouldn’t lose. Isten could have screamed, if he’d been less numb. The Terns hadn’t even given them a chance, hadn’t played fair but had attacked shamefully in the night. They had no honour.

They rode the whole day and then several days after that and each night they slept much as they had in Isten’s tent, with Adder pressed to Isten’s back. Only, this time, Isten couldn’t push him away, and for an hour or more, despite his exhaustion, he lay awake fearing that Adder’s hands would wrench at his trousers and those awful fingers would be pressed inside him again.

But Adder, to Isten’s great relief, kept his distance and Isten spent the days half-asleep on Adder’s shoulder, watching the countryside crawl by through half-open eyes.

A nudge to Isten’s ribs woke him and Isten straightened against Adder’s back to glance around with bleary eyes.

They were at some kind of castle with what appeared to be an expanse of stagnant water all around the outside except for a narrow strip of land which led up to the entrance. The water was a kind of defence, Isten realised groggily, as he watched a single Tern on horseback ride up to the edge of the bridge.

There was sudden a loud churning drag of wood against wood and Isten tensed nervously, watching as the great pair of wooden doors were rolled open, revealing a second pair behind them, just as huge and impassable. Isten stared at it all. How could his people have ever conquered a castle like this? The huge stone walls appeared utterly impenetrable, rearing up out of the ground like a cliff, and this one entrance was so well guarded Isten couldn’t think how anyone could ever breach it. Isten felt like an ant in the face of it.

In a slow procession, the Terns on horseback were admitted into the castle and, twisting around, Isten saw that the prisoners were following behind. The sight of them sickened Isten’s stomach and he turned back to the front, hunching down in the saddle as they passed over the bridge and then under the enormous, blockish stone arch at the entrance which contained the two doors. Isten looked up and around in horrified wonder as they passed through and, up in the stone roof, he saw faces looking down at them through gaps in the stone. Isten stared back at them as the horse under them took them through the deafeningly echoing entrance at a rolling amble and then into a great area of scrappy grass and mud where horses and pigs had been grazing until the soldiers scattered them. The space was ringed by the enormous castle walls and various buildings and structures.

Inside, the Terns crowded the space, the noise of them seeming greater inside the walls despite the vast size of it all and Isten flinched at the clamour. Men began to dismount, handing off their mounts to harried stable hands before striding away and Adder indicated with a nudge for Isten to climb down.

Swinging his leg over the back of the horse, Isten slid to the floor, staggering on landing as his aching legs threatened to collapse under him. Adder dismounted more smoothly, hooking his fingers around Isten’s bound wrists before he strode off towards the stables to have their mount seen to, and Isten lagged behind him.

Once the horse had been taken off their hands, Adder and the other soldiers headed off across the expanse of grass towards what seemed to be a second, inner castle, dragging Isten along with him. To Isten’s shock, considering how well-protected the first entrance had seemed, there was more stone arches and huge wooden doors to pass through before they were admitted into an echoing courtyard filled with movement and activity.

Even further inside, they went into a great hall, larger than any building Isten had ever been in, which was thronging with soldiers, amongst whom was a tall, lavishly dressed man greeting people, who Isten presumed to be the lord of the castle. Adder moved to the side to pick up a flagon of mead before taking a seat on one of the long benches, pushing Isten to kneel at his feet. Indignant at the treatment, Isten glanced around him and found that a handful of soldiers held captives at their feet as Adder did, but the majority of the consorts were female, and Isten didn’t see anyone he recognised. Isten’s irritation quickly faded into a self-conscious uneasiness and he hunched down, clasping his bound hands together and avoiding eye-contact with anyone.

Adder’s fingers came to rest in his hair and when he initially cringed from the touch, Adder’s grip tightened and Isten hissed in pain, clutching at Adder’s calf to dig his fingernails into Adder’s leg.

Adder’s fingers loosened and Isten twisted his head upwards to look at Adder, who was eying him with blatantly predatory interest. Isten clenched his jaw and turned away, even as Adder’s fingers in his hair meant he couldn’t pull away.

Adder kept a possessive hand on Isten, if not on his head then on the side of his neck or his shoulder, for the entirety of hour or so it took for Adder to finish three mugs of mead. Isten eyed the alcohol warily even as he could do nothing to prevent Adder from getting blind drunk if he so wished.

Adder seemed to hold his alcohol well enough, though, and when he stood, tugging Isten up with him, he stood solidly without a hint of the alcohol that was coursing through his system. But Isten could see the dark intent in Adder’s eyes and even as it thrilled a part of him, it also completely terrified him and he followed Adder’s lead out of the hall and into the corridor with great reluctance.

Adder made his way along the hallway, snagging a lit torch as he went, before he picked a door and nudged the door open with his foot, tugging Isten in after him. Isten tensed nervously as Adder pushed the door closed and set the torch into an iron bracket on the wall before turning his gaze on Isten.

“Adder,” Isten whispered fearfully. The quiet in the room – some kind of small sitting room with two couches arranged around an unlit fireplace with a lush rug in the centre – was oppressive and Isten was loathe to break it.

Adder visibly swallowed and then his hands shot out to clasp Isten’s arms in a rough grip and Isten found himself propelled backwards with a forcefulness he couldn’t fight, over to the rug. Adder shoved him down and even as Isten yelped and tried to bolt, Adder wrenched his own shift off over his head and, bare-chested, grabbed the collar of Isten’s shift and shoved him back to the rug.

Isten wailed, breathing too fast but unable to take any oxygen in, and then Adder was on top of him, curled over him, surrounding him, and Isten froze like a caught rabbit.

Adder moved his face close to Isten’s and then mouthed a wet stripe up the tendon of Isten’s neck. Isten shuddered and bunched his hands in Adder’s shift with a quiet sob.

“Adder, Adder _don’t_ ,” he begged quietly. Adder bit down on Isten’s shoulder and Isten squirmed with a whimper, putting his bound hands to Adder’s chest to try to push him away. But Adder only took hold of Isten’s hands and pushed them firmly out of the way. Isten’s wrists burned with the chafing of the rope.

With Isten on his back, his hips trapped between Adder’s knees, Adder took a rough hold on Isten’s shift and tore it straight down the centre before Isten could protest. Then Adder was crouched down to bite at Isten’s collarbone, his rib, his stomach, his hip, and Isten shuddered as he stared, frozen with a fear so large he felt like his chest had turned to stone, except for his heart which was beating hard enough to hurt. Adder looked back with huge, dark eyes as he mouthed his way down Isten’s torso.

Isten choked on a whimper when Adder reached his groin and he tried again to squirm away, terrified of invading fingers and burning, but Adder held Isten’s gaze the entire time he was taking off Isten’s trousers and Isten stared back at him. Terrified. Begging him. He just couldn’t fight Adder, not his physical strength nor his intensity.

Once Isten’s trousers had been tugged off and Isten lay shivering, Adder sat up and away to peel off his own trousers and Isten pressed his tied hands to his face, trembling.

He felt Adder’s skin against his thighs and stiffened, only to feel Adder’s surprisingly careful fingers on his arms, pulling Isten’s hands from his face and putting them above Isten’s head. The expression on Adder’s face was almost gentle.

“I’m scared.” Isten said, like it was a secret.

Adder’s brows buckled and, paused, he stared at Isten for several seconds. Then he moved his face excruciatingly slowly towards Isten’s until they were nose to nose and Adder’s breath ghosted over Isten’s lips with every exhale. Isten was frozen, just waiting, and Adder finally shifted forwards to close the final distance, only, instead of the lips Isten was expecting, Adder pressed his teeth to Isten’s lower lip, biting it gently. The contact broke something that had been stretched tight in Isten and he released a breath into Adder’s mouth. The fear made him sick but this seemed like a reassurance. God, he hoped it was.

When Adder went to draw back, Isten pushed his head forwards and pressed his lips firmly to Adder’s. It was also a silent plea: _don’t hurt me_. Adder kissed Isten back for only a second before he put a hand to Isten’s throat to push him back to the floor and Isten huffed out a sharp breath of surprise, tracking Adder with his gaze as the Tern came back up to seated and his hand moved down Isten’s stomach to stroke Isten’s half-hard cock.

Isten’s stomach muscles clenched violently at the touch and he buckled upwards before a sharp look from Adder made him lie back down again, though all of his nervousness returned and he clenched his fist, driving his nails into the flesh of his palm, letting the sting of it distract him from the fear, and pleasure, pooling in his gut.

Adder made a soft noise even as he moved his hips in-between Isten’s legs and Isten cried out and tried to twist away. Not that, not that. But Adder wouldn’t let him move and then he was pressing their cocks together, just as Isten had that first time, and proceeded to touch them both with his large, rough hand. Isten slumped out of exhaustion as Adder’s other hand roamed over Isten’s body, stroking and pinching and raking red lines into Isten’s skin.

Isten tiredly watched Adder’s movements from where he was lying on his back and he was almost, but not quite, silent as Adder’s hand drew small noises of both protest and pleasure from his throat. Isten’s fear meant he was slower to get hard than usual but Adder’s ministrations won out and Isten hardened inevitably.

Adder rubbed his thumb over the head of Isten’s cock and Isten twisted under it with a strangled whine.

“I’m- I’m,” he gasped, and then came hard onto his stomach with an almost painful clenching in his stomach.

But even in the warm, panting aftermath of his orgasm, Isten could see that Adder hadn’t come yet and he was tense, watching Adder’s movements nervously right up until the moment that Adder came jerkily with a low groan, covering the head of his cock with his palm to catch his come in his palm.

Adder took his hand away from his cock to look at the liquid on it before he picked up Isten’s torn shift and cleaned himself first, and then Isten’s chest and stomach. Isten initially twitched at the touch and Adder’s eyes rested heavily on Isten’s face for a moment before he wiped the last of Isten’s come and tossed the shift aside.

Adder shifted away, then, getting his feet under him before he bent to pick Isten up, bringing Isten to his chest. Isten gave a short, scared laugh as the ground disappeared from under him and he clutched at Adder’s shoulders. Adder grimaced, his teeth gritted, at Isten’s weight against his injured ribs and he only held Isten for a few moments before he was laying Isten down on one of the wide couches.

Isten watched from the couch as Adder walked away, fetching a blanket from where, Isten wasn’t sure, before returning to him.

Isten slid himself somewhat anxiously backwards until his back was pressed against the couch’s cushions as Adder lay down beside him so they were facing one another. There wasn’t much space and Adder seemed determined to have every inch of Isten pressed against him, as he crowded him until he couldn’t go any further backwards before wrapping his long, muscled arms around Isten’s shoulders and waist and dragged him close. Isten tensed up at the touch, though the thought of resisting didn’t really occur to him. A hand around the back of Isten’s skull brought Isten forwards to tuck his head under Adder’ jaw, and then Adder was draping the blanket over them, the fabric an odd contrast to the warmth of Adder’s skin.

Where Adder had previously only held Isten from behind, Isten found it strangely more intimate to be tucked together chest-to-chest. He could feel each rise and fall of Adder’s furred chest against his own, the hot exhale of Adder’s breath over Isten’s neck, and the slight clamminess of the Tern’s skin, from pain or exertion, where it lay against Isten’s own.

After a few minutes where Isten wasn’t quite sure whether Adder had fallen asleep or not, Isten tilted his head backwards to look at Adder’s face. Adder’s eyes had been closed but, at Isten’s movement, they opened, and Isten stared at him. The sight of the Tern took his breath away this close up, because there was no escaping from those all-seeing, flinty eyes, and Adder looked at Isten like he wanted to devour him.

As Isten stared unabashedly Adder’s mouth tilted upwards on one side and though Isten couldn’t bring himself to smile back, he angled his head upwards slightly and pressed his mouth to that corner of Adder’s, feeling Adder tense very slightly under Isten’s hands, which were curled over Adder’s shoulders. Adder kissed him back almost tenderly, but didn’t linger for more than a second before he drew away and pulled Isten’s head back under his chin, preventing Isten from kissing him again. Perhaps the lack of his tongue made him dislike it, Isten thought.

“Adder,” Isten said softly. Adder shifted slightly to hold Isten more tightly before he hummed in acknowledgement. “Will you swear,” he took an uneasy breath, his heart beating almost roughly in his chest. “Not to hurt me? Not like before.” Adder was worryingly still and Isten pressed his forehead to Adder’s collarbone, “Please.” He begged. Small hurts like Adder’s bites and scratches Isten didn’t care about, even liked, but Adder had almost raped him and Isten didn’t think he would ever be able to relax in Adder’s presence if the man did that to him, for real.

It was Adder who moved his head backwards this time and Isten lifted his eyes to meet Adder’s, on edge, to see how he would react. Adder stroked the side of Isten’s head as he met Isten’s gaze with a solemn frown that Isten couldn’t read. Then Adder inclined his head in a single, affirmative nod and Isten breathed out, nestling in next to Adder.

“Thank you.” He whispered. Adder’s hands tightened around Isten’s back and then they were both still except for their breathing and Isten felt himself sinking fully into Adder’s hold. Sleep came easily after that.


	6. Fight II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adder shows his possessiveness, to Isten's relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're getting this a day early... :D yay? There's absolutely no reason for it, I'm just bored. Hope you like it!! Stuff happens and things get fun, sorta. Please do let me know what you think in the comments down below, I love them all :))  
> Warning for gore in this one.

After that first night, Tern foot soldiers were mostly expected to sleep in their tents, outside the castle’s waters, which Isten learned was called a ‘moat’. Since Adder wasn’t an officer, or if he was he gave no indication of it, they, too, slept in a tent, but they were all welcomed back inside each evening for copious amounts of mead and a standard but warming fare of bread and broth, much as Isten had eaten when he was with his own army.

Adder didn’t like to eat with the other soldiers during these meals because of the somewhat odd way he ate, and they would go into the hall only to pick up enough for them both before retiring to Adder’s tent.

“Too good to eat with us, mute?” A Tern and two others moved in front of Adder as they were moving to leave and Adder halted, giving the men a cold stare. A cold sweat shivered across Isten’s skin at the look one of the Terns was giving him, and he resisted the urge to take a step backwards. “Go on, mute, give us a nod.” The same Tern taunted, “You obviously think you’re superior. Slinking off every night. What do you do, huh? Have your filthy Hikt jerk you off while you’re eating?” Isten pressed his lips together. He _wasn’t_ a Hikt.

Adder slowly and deliberately took a step sideways and, when the Terns mirrored him, blocking his path, Adder put the broth down on the table.

“Come on, mute,” the Tern said, like Adder was a simpleton or a child, “just hand your slave over and we can all go on our way. How is that for a fair deal, hm?” Adder’s only answer was to put his hand on his sword and the Tern’s hands all went to theirs, “Easy, you don’t want to be doing that, now.” The Tern said, condescending, “wouldn’t want this to get messy and you lose any more limbs,” the man grinned and gestured vaguely between Adder’s legs, “especially down there, huh?” Isten glanced nervously at Adder, whose expression had shifted into exactly what Isten recognised from his fights in the ring: focused and utterly emotionless. Isten thought that if the Terns had even an ounce of sense they would back off.

“Boys, boys!” A man, an officer it seemed, came over with his hands up. His voice was jovial and he spoke in almost unaccented common. “What’s the problem here? No fighting indoors.”

“Our man here won’t be so kind as to share his Hikt,” the Tern said, his cold eyes on Adder even as he smiled, “Not very generous of him, is it?”

“Indeed, indeed,” The officer said, and turned to Adder. He obviously had some common sense because his expression became wary when he saw the set of Adder’s features, “Well, why don’t you lend your slave for a night, and that would sort everybody out, wouldn’t it? No hard feelings now, just a compromise.” Isten swallowed and couldn’t stop himself from clutching at Adder’s arm. _Please don’t, please, please_ , Isten chanted in his head. Adder shook Isten off his arm with an irritable expression and Isten’s stomach sank.

But Adder turned to look at the man and very deliberately shook his head, and Isten sagged in relief.

“Well then,” the officer said, sounding somewhat unimpressed, “I suppose there’s no forcing you. Uncharitable and all, but perhaps go and find a serving girl instead, eh, boys?” He spoke to the other Terns, whose hands were still on their swords.

“We’ll do that.” The Tern said icily, eying Adder. He smiled at the officer and then patted one of the other two on the shoulder, “Come on then, since our man thinks he’s above the rest of us.” They walked away and the tension in Adder noticeably ebbed, though a muscle twitched at his jaw.

“Reckon you’ve made some enemies, there, lad.” The officer said to Adder, and Adder nodded once. “Well, there it is. Watch your back.” The officer said and walked off.

Adder exhaled heavily and his hand finally came off his sword. He glanced down at Isten before heading off towards the exit with Isten following behind.

“Adder,” Isten said, over the din of the hall. He took a couple of faster steps to catch up to the other man. Adder nodded to indicate he was listening. “I think they might ambush you at the door. They were headed this way.” Adder didn’t look surprised and Isten saw that the Tern’s hand was on his sword again. “Don’t get injured, Adder.” Isten said, quieter. “I need you.” Adder looked down at him then, his expression indecipherable, though Isten thought his eyes were a little softer.

When Adder looked away, his face was settled into icy indifference. Isten got increasingly nervous as they headed towards the door that led out onto the courtyard and the crowd of soldiers thinned. It was dark out in the yard and the door yawned like a chasm. Then they were passing through the archway and Adder put a strong hand to Isten’s chest to press him firmly backwards; out of the way.

“Hey fucker!” A man yelled and Isten’s hands came up defensively as the Tern came forwards swinging his sword showily, even though the attacker hadn’t even looked at Isten, but was focused entirely on Adder.

Isten hadn’t seen him move, but Adder’s sword was drawn and he stood motionless, watching the Tern like a hawk. Isten licked his lips, edging an extra step backwards. Adder radiated competence and lethal force but Isten’s stomach was tied in knots. If Adder was killed then Isten had a fair idea what these men intended for him. And even if Adder wasn’t killed, but caught a glancing blow, these things could get infected so easily and Isten didn’t want to know what happened if Adder died that way. Isten realised, as he anxiously followed the silver glimmer of the Tern’s lethally sharp blade, that he hadn’t truly realised how reliant on Adder he was until he was faced with the prospect of losing him.

The Tern made the first move, darting forwards with surprising speed to swing an almighty blow at Adder with the back of his sword, a cut which could have sunk deep into Adder’s arm if Adder hadn’t have blocked it. The clang of the metal made Isten flinch even as the two watching Terns, although others were gathering, drawn by the sound of fighting, cheered. Isten couldn’t help but notice how Adder’s blank expression had twitched in pain when he’d deflected the Tern’s blow, and knew that Adder’s ribs were paining him. Isten just hoped the Tern hadn’t noticed it too.

“Nothing to say, mute?” The Tern said, as they backed off, eying each other. “No last words? Maybe we’d forgive you if you got on your kneels real pretty.”

Adder gave no indication that he’d even heard the man, and the Tern ceased his taunts and swung again. Even Isten could see that the hit was too wide, leaving too much time for Adder to block him, and Adder did, catching the hit on the flat of his sword, and then, with a fast twist, drove the point of his sword straight into the Tern’s chest. The Tern staggered, shocked, and Adder wrenched his sword out only to drive it into the Tern’s throat with a grunt, releasing a thick spurt of blood.

The watching Terns, who must have numbered about ten, were silent as Adder withdrew, all of them watching the man collapse to the floor clutching his erupting throat with wide eyes, as if he could stop the blood. Adder’s face remained blank throughout and, after a moment, he stepped forwards to wipe his sword on the Tern’s shift. Isten saw Adder glance at the Tern’s two friends but they both backed off, avoiding Adder’s gaze. They weren’t willing to die in pursuit of a slave, or even to avenge the dead man. So Adder slid his sword away and drew his knife instead, which he used to cut off the Tern’s head. Isten couldn’t watch and he turned his head away sharply. Just the sound of tendons being cut and the rasp of metal against bone made him feel ill.

Adder stood with the head in hand and looked to Isten with an utterly dead expression, the kind that terrified Isten, and it must have shown on his face, because Adder’s features thawed into a more neutral expression as he came towards Isten and walked straight back towards the hall with the Tern’s head dripping blood by his side.

“Where are you going?” Isten asked, hurrying to catch up. “Why are you taking _that_?” He tried not to look at the disgusting thing Adder was holding by its hair. “Adder, won’t they kill you for this? Adder!”

Adder sent Isten a dismissive glance and Isten clenched his jaw, keeping close to Adder’s side. He’d just have to trust that Adder wasn’t going to get himself killed in- whatever kind of a sick display this was. Unless it was a barbaric, Tern custom to kill their own and then parade the heads.

Once inside the hall, Adder moved confidently through the thronging soldiers, and quiet fell as he strode quickly, with Isten trying to keep up.

Adder, glancing around, headed for that officer who had intercepted their fighting before. The man had been talking to another officer, but he was stunned to grim silence by the sight of Adder, whose shift was as bloody as a butcher’s apron.

Adder went to stand silently before him and the hall seemed to wait for the officer’s words. Isten struggled not fidget by Adder’s side.

“It came to that then.” The officer said finally, solemn but unsurprised. “Well, he did seem set on coming after you, I suppose, though I can’t understand why you didn’t just share the slave.”

Adder nodded once, but Isten did see some tension seep out of his stance and he realised that Adder had been nervous, too. That he hadn’t been sure how this would go.

“Anything to say for yourself, lad?” Another officer said and Adder turned to look at him stoically. The hall remained silent and the officer’s face flushed in indignation at Adder’s silence. “Answer me.” He ordered. Adder tensed, his jaw locking. There were too many eyes on him, Isten realised. Adder didn’t want to expose his severed tongue like this, to be stared at. He was too proud.

But Adder’s silence seemed to infuriate the officer and he took a furious step forwards. Isten hastily gripped Adder’s arm and steeled his courage.

“He can’t, sir.” Isten said, with his head angled downwards. Adder shot him an indecipherable look and Isten hoped to hell he wasn’t going to pay for this intervention later. Everyone’s eyes were on them, including the officer’s narrowed ones and Isten swallowed.

“How so?” The second officer snapped coldly. Isten glanced at Adder but the Tern gave him no signal one way or the other for him to speak further or hold his tongue.

“He’s mute, sir.” Isten’s voice shook slightly and he hoped that would be the end of it all.

The officer looked to Adder coldly. “I see,” he said.

The first officer patted his friend soothingly on the shoulder, “Come now, if the lad can’t speak, then that’s that, aye? Nothing to be done. Back to the mead, I say.”

“Fourty lashes,” The second officer said, glaring at Adder. Adder didn’t give the man any response other than a cold stare. “For killing one of our own.” The officer shot a look at his partner, “We can’t descend into in-fighting like dogs, can we.”

The first officer raised an eyebrow but the look he shot Adder was resigned and he nodded. “Very well,” he said, “Fourty lashes. Two days.” Adder, after a heavy pause, inclined his head minutely.

The officers turned away first and Adder pivoted on his heel, took hold of Isten’s bicep and towed him from the hall, amongst murmurings and stares. He didn’t have to shoulder anyone out of the way because the soldiers shifted aside to make way of him.

“Fuck.” Isten muttered under his breath once they were back outside. Adder didn’t stop in the courtyard but headed straight for the stone arches. He carelessly flung the dripping head into the moat where it landed with a foul splash, and then Adder continued across the grass of the outer court, so Isten had heard it called, and towards where his tent was set-up, near the edge of the encampment.

“Adder,” Isten said, his arm aching from where Adder was dragging him, walking too fast. “Adder, slow down. Please.”

Adder didn’t so much as glance at him but continued to tow Isten until they had gotten to his tent, but even then he kept walking, off into the darkness beyond the torches that lit the camp, and Isten scowled at him.

“Where are-” Isten started to ask, before Adder suddenly released him and then bent forwards and with a horrible, retching sound, threw up into the grass with his arm clamped around his damaged ribs.

Startled, Isten wondered whether he should put a hand on Adder’s back, but he felt that Adder might react badly to it.

Adder retched again before he straightened and spat out the taste, looking down at his bloody hands, which, in the dim light, looked almost like they’d been dipped in black ink. Isten saw Adder’s throat move as he swallowed and the disgust on his face was obvious.

“Let’s go to the stream.” Isten suggested quietly. The water source was a short walk away but Adder needed that blood off his hands, and Isten really didn’t want to have to return to the castle. Adder nodded silently and for once he allowed Isten to lead.

They went in silence to the stream, broken only when Isten stumbled in the dark and Adder caught his arm, keeping him from falling. Isten glanced down at the smear of half-congealed blood on his shift where Adder’s hand had been before he looked away.

“Thanks.” Isten said quietly, but Adder was already moving away.

Isten clenched his bound hands as he walked. They threw off his balance and his wrists _hurt_. He wished Adder would take the damn things off. Where was he worried Isten would go? There was nowhere _to_ go, unless Isten had a death wish, which he didn’t.

They reached the stream and Adder crouched down to bathe his arms, roughly scraping the already-drying flakes from his skin. Isten didn’t interfere but moved further up to the upper part of the stream, where it bubbled down between the rocks, to scoop up a handful and swallow several mouthfuls. He was parched and he wanted to fill his belly, if only with water, since he didn’t think he or Adder would be eating until morning, at the earliest.

When he’d drunk enough to bloat his stomach, Isten looked up to see that Adder had stripped off his shift and was rubbing the blood out of it, before wringing it out. There would always be a stain, Isten expected, but it would be wearable at least.

Adder didn’t put the wet shift on again but stayed bare chested as he stood up and jerked his head at Isten, indicating for him to follow. Isten looked over Adder’s ribs as they walked and, though they seemed less swollen, the fire-light illuminated the awful, purple-green bruising that was blotched all across Adder’s abdomen.

“I need to piss,” Isten said, back at the tent, and Adder jerked a nod as he was draping his shift over the outside of the tent to dry.

Isten moved ten feet or so away from the tent before he fumblingly untied his trousers and relieved himself.

Adder had withdrawn inside the tent by the time Isten returned and Isten came inside, flopping down on the floor to unlace his boots. Adder was sat on the bedroll and he looked up as Isten came inside. Isten’s struggle to get his boot laces undone with his bound hands was interrupted by Adder coming over and impatiently pulling Isten’s fingers away in order to quickly unpick the knots with his long fingers. Fingers that had held a knife and hacked through a man’s spine less than an hour ago. Isten wrapped his arms around his knees and stayed silent, pliable, as Adder pulled off his boots with a hand around Isten’s heel, before tossing his boots aside.

When Adder looked up, his eyes were hungry and Isten leaned backwards warily. Adder stilled at Isten’s reaction and he frowned. With firm but not rough hands, Adder took Isten by the shoulders and pushed him towards the bedroll.

“Adder,” Isten said softly, half a protest. He was afraid of saying ‘no’ and having Adder ignore him. The violence today had made him feel sick and tired and he just wanted to collapse into sleep and forget the day.

Adder’s fingers tugged at Isten’s shift and Isten reluctantly lifted his arms to allow the Tern to undress him, though he couldn’t pull the shift off past Isten’s hands but was left bunched around his wrists. Adder’s hands smoothed over Isten’s shoulders and Isten sat there and let it happen.

He couldn’t stop himself from flinching, however, when Adder reached down and palmed Isten through his trousers. Isten’s cock was soft and he turned his head from the Tern as Adder touched him, feeling like an object rather than a man.

But Adder stopped after a moment and then he was clasping Isten’s jaw in one of his big hands, turning Isten’s head back towards him. Isten looked back at Adder as the Tern’s eyes flickered over Isten’s face with a kind of scrutiny.

Adder sat back, releasing Isten to look at him with a faint frown. Glancing down, Isten could see that Adder was hard in his trousers and he clenched his jaw and turned away again, resigning himself.

But Adder didn’t do anything for several seconds and when he did, it was only to heave a sigh. Isten looked at him warily, but Adder just nudged Isten off the furs he’d been sitting on and came to lie behind Isten, guiding him down to lie next to him. Isten stiffly allowed himself to be moved, tensing when Adder pulled the heavy furs over them and Adder wrapped an arm around his waist. But Adder settled behind him and though Isten could feel Adder’s cock pressed against his ass, Adder didn’t seem inclined to do anything about it. Gradually Isten relaxed into Adder’s hold, though he heard Adder’s breathing even out into sleep long before he did.


	7. Boundaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten wakes up a little excited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure smut. All the smut. 
> 
> A stupid sidenote: since i started posting this regularly, i've started to really look forward to fridays. Posting this off to y'all and hearing all your lovely comments and all your thoughts with ideas i haven't thought of is just, really nice. So just...thanks for being a positive force in my life guys. i love you all, even the lurkers :)
> 
> anyways, back to the smut you're all here for

Isten woke up with an erection, and Adder’s weight so much on top of him that he was sweating despite Adder having stolen all the furs.

“ _Adder_ ,” Isten groaned after a minute. His cock was stubbornly refusing to soften but he was melting under the heat of Adder’s body.

They were pressed so much together that when Adder heaved a sigh, Isten felt every movement of the man’s chest. Adder made a disgruntled noise and, though he shifted onto his side, he tugged Isten close, holding him with a tight enough grip that Isten rolled his eyes and gave in to the inevitability of sweating until Adder decided to let go of him.

It took a few minutes, but Adder started stirring properly and Isten startled to feel Adder’s teeth brush his neck before the Tern tucked his head over Isten’s shoulder. Adder stilled, then, and Isten realised that Adder had seen Isten’s now half-hard cock. Adder’s hand slid down from where it was spread over Isten’s ribs to carefully encircle Isten’s cock. Isten twitched at the touch, inadvertently pressing his ass back into Adder’s groin. Adder’s sharp exhale gusted down Isten’s chest where the Tern had his cheek pressed to Isten and they were both looking down at where Adder was steadily bringing Isten to full hardness. Isten could feel Adder hardening, too. Although he was still nervous, the morning warmth and light brought a kind of softness and Isten’s anxiety lay mostly at rest as Adder touched him.

“Adder,” Isten said, when he was getting close. He pressed his head back against Adder’s shoulder as Adder’s hand sped up and Isten bucked his hips into Adder’s hand with a moan. “Fuck,” he said, before Adder’s thumb massaged the head of his cock and Isten dropped his head back and came hard, his mouth falling open as his hips continued to push up against Adder’s long fingers. “ _Fuck_ ,” Isten said, falling limp a moment later. His eyes had closed as he came but they shot open when Adder pushed wet, salty fingers against his lips, pushing into Isten’s mouth before he could think to move away.

Isten gagged as Adder pushed his fingers right to the back of his throat and his eyes widened as he finally caught up as to the fact that Adder’s fingers were coated in Isten’s come.

Isten made a noise of protest around Adder’s fingers and tried to pull away, only for Adder to lift himself up on his elbow to look down at Isten with sharp, hungry eyes. Isten stilled at that look and, when Adder slowly fucked his fingers into Isten’s mouth, Isten curled his tongue around the knuckles, before slowly licking down into the webbed crease in-between Adder’s fingers. Adder smirked predatorily at him and Isten bit down experimentally on Adder’s finger. It was only a light graze of teeth but Adder’s eyes narrowed with pure want and then he was pressing his fingers down on Isten’s tongue until he gagged, and then gagged again.

Adder drew his fingers back then, saliva joining his finger-tips to Isten’s lips by a stringy thread before it broke. Isten looked up at him, aware that his lips were wet with too much saliva, but he didn’t wipe it away. Adder pressed his face to Isten’s shoulder and Isten felt the man reach down to touch himself, but Isten put his bound hands to Adder’s to halt him.

Adder paused, looking heavily at Isten, before his gaze dropped to the cord around Isten’s wrists and he frowned, taking hold of Isten’s forearm to pull the cord back. Underneath the bonds, Isten’s skin was chafed and irritated and Adder turned away, reaching for something that Isten couldn’t see.

When Adder rolled back over, he had a knife in his hand and, though Isten initially tensed, he relaxed again when Adder put the blade to the cord and cut it with a few quick, sharp jerks of the knife. Isten shed the shift that had been trapped and irritatingly bunched around his forearms. Isten was immensely pleased to get the rope off, even for just a while, and he looked gratefully at Adder as he rotated his wrists, stretching them carefully.

Adder lent back to put the knife away and then, laid out on his side propped up on one elbow, he looked at Isten for a few moments, before his hand returned to his cock, which poked forwards. Adder began to stroke himself again, looking at Isten intently as he did so.

Isten touched Adder’s hand again, returning to what he’d been planning to do before Adder cut the rope away, though he felt even more like pleasing Adder now.

Adder’s eyebrows lifted as Isten gently stopped him from touching himself for a second time, but Isten just came up to kneeling with his lips tilted up on one side and urged Adder to lie back with a small press of his fingers against Adder’s chest. It wasn’t nearly enough pressure to actually move Adder if the man hadn’t wanted to go, but only an indication of where Isten wanted him, and Adder allowed himself to be moved, reclining onto his back to watch Isten with lidded eyes, his head propped up.

Isten could have simply asked Adder verbally to lie back, but he found himself favouring silence and simple touches to indicate his wishes, since that was what Adder used, and Adder watched Isten so intently that it didn’t usually take him more than a few seconds to gauge Isten’s intention.

As Isten ran a hand very lightly over Adder’s chest and stomach, avoiding the worst of Adder’s bruising, Adder was watching Isten with hungry interest, but without any particular expectation. Isten liked that look, because it meant Adder was less likely to be disappointed, and Isten wanted him to enjoy this. Isten liked having this modicum of control after feeling he was being stripped of everything that gave him agency, or humanity. And it was thrilling to have a man as large and brutal as Adder letting himself be guided into place by just Isten’s fingers.

Isten’s hand reached Adder’s pubic hair, which was coarse, darker than his head hair and grew in dense curls around the base of his cock. Isten threaded his fingers through it lightly and Adder hummed in his throat. Isten touched Adder’s inner thighs, too, and bit the Tern’s hipbone, but he moved to Adder’s cock before the man could become frustrated and, taking an unsteady breath, Isten crouched down on his knees between Adder’s legs and took hold of the base of Adder’s swollen cock, with his hand covering a little over a half of Adder’s length.

Adder made a noise of encouragement and Isten looked up to see Adder watching him with surprised pleasure on his face and Isten smiled up at him before he dipped his head down and licked the head of Adder’s cock, tasting salt.

Adder groaned startlingly loudly, his hips twitching upwards, and Isten smugly sucked the head into his mouth, beginning to move his lips up and down by an inch or two as his tongue swiped over Adder’s slit.

Adder’s hips bucked upwards sharply and Isten gagged briefly, before he drew back and licked his wet lips. Adder was looking at him like he wanted to eat him and Isten jerked Adder with his hand for a few seconds before he returned his mouth to Adder’s cock. Adder growled in approval, and then Isten felt Adder’s hands move to clutch at Isten’s hair. Isten continued to move, curling his tongue around Adder’s shaft and Adder’s breathing increasing, his hips moving in twitches, like he was struggling to keep himself still. His fingers tightened and relaxed in Isten’s hair as Isten took his hand away from the base of Adder’s cock and encircled him with two fingers instead as he tried to take Adder more deeply into his mouth.

“Ah!” Adder groaned sharply, and he fisted Isten’s hair painfully tight. Isten inevitably gagged and when he pulled away to breathe, Adder looked as discomposed as Isten had ever seen him, with his lips parted and his jaw and chest flushed with arousal.

Adder raised his eyebrows at Isten and lifted his hips slightly in a silent invitation for Isten to hurry up and finish what he’d started and Isten did so, kissing Adder’s firm thigh before he took the Tern’s cock back into his mouth, focusing less on his tongue and more on trying to swallow Adder as he’d occasionally managed for past lovers, though not for a long time.

Adder didn’t seem to care how much of his cock was being swallowed as long as there was friction and Isten obligingly kept moving his lips up and down, since Adder’s injured ribs meant he made pained noises when he tried to lift his hips up into Isten’s mouth.

Isten finally got his gag reflex to subside enough for the head of Adder’s cock to slip into his throat and even as Isten tried to keep the instinctive panic from rising up in his chest, Adder jerked upwards with a groan of desire and Isten gagged hard and had to pull his head free of Adder’s fingers in order to cough and drag in a lungful of air. Adder, propped up on his elbow, looked down at Isten with his face full of raw desire and Isten stared back at him. Adder had _enjoyed_ him choking, Isten could see it, and, when Isten slid his mouth back down, he fully anticipated Adder’s hand in his hair pushing him further down Adder’s cock. He braced for it. He had initiated this and he told himself that he didn’t mind, and he didn’t really. He’d done this for others. It was other things that were unbearable.

Isten, dragging in awkward breaths, swallowed with difficulty and then Adder gave him a firm _push_ on the back of his head and his cock moved painfully back into Isten’s throat. Isten gagged once but managed to control it and, his eyes watering, he let Adder’s grip on his hair move him up and down an inch or so. It was damn painful and Isten wanted desperately to breathe but the look of pure rapture on Adder’s face when Isten looked up was worth the discomfort.

When Isten gagged again, his chest spasming with the need to breathe and tears rolling down his cheeks, he tried to pull back, only for Adder’s grip in his hair to tighten sharply, holding him down. Isten, his chest heaving but getting no air, vindictively raked scratches down the outsides of Adder’s thighs and Adder thrust forwards violently, hitting the back of Isten’s throat hard, before he started coming. Isten swallowed compulsively without even tasting it; Adder’s cock too far in his throat for it to touch his tongue.

When Adder had finally finished, Isten wrenched himself free to cough roughly, gasping at the air between fits of coughing. When he’d wiped away the tears that always came when he gagged, he found Adder looking at him with a distinctly guarded expression, though his skin was still obviously heated from his release and his chest was rising and falling noticeably. Isten dragged his hand across the mess of saliva across his mouth and chin, breaking eye contact with Adder out of embarrassment at what he must have looked like; _wanton_.

But when he’d cleaned himself up a little and caught his breath, he crawled over to Adder and flopped down on his stomach next to him. Adder was still looking at him oddly and Isten frowned at him, worried that Adder thought him dirty for what he’d done.

“What is it?” Isten said, his voice rough, as he nosed at Adder’s shoulder like a dog.

Adder’s hand came up to cup Isten’s chin, which was still slightly sticky. There was a frown on Adder’s face as he scanned Isten’s features and Isten blinked at him for a few seconds before Adder’s fingers slipped down to touch Isten’s throat lightly and Isten realised that Adder was looking at him in _concern_ , like he was worried Isten was mad for his roughness.

“I’m not angry, Adder,” Isten said, nudging closer. He couldn’t say that Adder hadn’t hurt him, because he had, but not in any way that Isten particularly minded, “I wanted to do it.” Adder blinked at him silently and Isten kissed Adder’s chest gently. The man was beautifully well-defined and corded muscle shifted erotically under his skin when he moved. The sight of his bruises, and his slight leanness, were visible reminders of his time with the Hikts, but Isten hoped they faded. Other things wouldn’t heal, though, and Isten kissed Adder again, “Just give me a few days, before we do it again,” Isten said, watching to see if Adder would be annoyed by this request, “just so my throat can mend.”

Adder nodded quickly and his arms came, strong and insistent, to drag Isten close to him. Isten made a sharp noise of surprise at being grasped so suddenly, a noise that was definitely, in no way a _squeal_ , and Adder laughed, a low, rolling thing that Isten stilled to hear. The man was so quiet that Isten was always startled to hear him make a noise, and Isten had certainly never heard Adder laugh.

Kissing Adder’s collarbone, Isten smiled up at the bigger man, who was watching him with a soft expression, though his lips were flat.

“I like your laugh.” Isten whispered into Adder’s neck. Adder kissed his head and they fell still, just breathing, as the sun rose fully, slowly heating up the tent.


	8. Injuries II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adder suffers the consequences of his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh mi gosh where's the week gone?   
> This chapter's a little longer this time, though not as nice as the last one. Sorry. Many thanks to Imperial_Dragon for their wonderful betaing and advice, although i have shifted things around a bit since they looked at it, so all mistakes are mine!  
> Warnings for gore.
> 
> Hope you like!

However well he was hiding it, Isten could see that Adder was nervous. Perhaps no-one else would have noticed, but Isten had been spending every hour of the day with the man and Adder moved more stiffly as he walked, the tension in him tight enough that Isten feared a sharply spoken word, or a light touch, would make him lash out. Isten’s own concern made him want to cling to Adder, to feel the solidity of him, but it was obvious that Adder didn’t want to be touched. Sometimes softness was harder to bear than pain, and Adder was building up his defences.

They arrived in the courtyard at the time one of the officers had ordered and Adder stood rigidly as the final preparations were made to the post that had been erected in the centre. Isten swallowed at the sight of it and tried to quell his sickness. He itched to take Adder’s hand.

The two officers that Isten and Adder had seen in the main hall came into view. The one appeared unhappy where the other was holding an odd length of rope in his hand with a hard expression on his face. Isten glanced up at Adder and found him staring straight ahead, his eyes as blank as they had been when he’d been killing that soldier.

In a convoluted way, Adder was suffering this punishment because of Isten; because Adder wouldn’t hand Isten over to those soldiers. But it was anger rather than guilt that settled on top of Isten’s sickness, because he hadn’t chosen to have his people conquered, or to be taken as a slave. And he wasn’t deluded into thinking that Adder had refused to give him over out of compassion. It had been pride and possessiveness, and revenge for the soldier’s callous insults. No, Isten was angry because of the obvious cruelty of the officer who would be beating Adder, and he was afraid that this punishment would cost Adder his life if the wounds got infected, or if the officer mis-hit Adder on the head or neck. It had been known to happen.

The time came and Isten shifted straight from anger to fear and he drove his nails into his palms in his attempt to keep his expression relatively neutral. All the worse possibilities swam round his head and Isten told himself firmly that he could _not_ interrupt, whatever happened. It would only make things worse.

The officers walked over to them, the cold-faced one trailing that tatty piece of rope with him, and came to stand about a meter from Adder, as if they didn’t want to get too close. The thought almost made Isten smile.

“Strip,” the officer with the rope ordered and Adder, a picture of composure, took off his shift with only a slight wince.

His ribs were much improved but they were still nastily bruised and there were several noticeable scabs where he’d been cut during fights. Adder didn’t react to the faint mutterings of surprise from the people gathered – and there were a lot of Terns, to Isten’s disgust – and only unbuckled his sword belt and handed it and his shift to Isten. Adder didn’t meet Isten’s eyes but turned to look at the two officers, who had opposite expressions of concern and irritation.

“What is this? More fighting?” the one snapped. Adder, of course, said nothing, but after a moment where the officer glared at Adder like he was being wilfully silent, Adder nudged Isten and shot him a look.

“Sir,” Isten said awkwardly, coming a fraction of a step forwards, “he was injured in fights during his time with the Hikts.” Adder nodded his confirmation and looked to the officer as if to say, _satisfied?_

“You say ‘Hikts’ like you’re not one of them,” the officer said to Isten, looking faintly amused. Isten struggled not to glare at him.

“I’m Tay, sir,” he said. Isten didn’t miss the look Adder sent him: surprise. Isten hadn’t realised Adder didn’t know, but he supposed it made sense. Isten had been with the Hikts and in Hikt dress when they met.

The officer narrowed his eyes at Isten, “No, you’re a slave,” he said.

“Sir,” Isten said icily. He would always be Tay, even if he never saw his people again, or wore their traditional garments, or if he lost their accent entirely. His blood was Tay and he would die one.

“You were a Hikt captive recently then, hm?” the kinder one interrupted, speaking to Adder. Adder nodded once, but Isten could tell from his nonchalance that he thought it a stupid question. Isten didn’t care because it took the attention away from him.

The other officer looked at Adder’s injuries in annoyance, like he was at fault. Isten supposed the officer didn’t want people to sympathise with Adder.

“Regardless,” he said, “it is time.”

“The sentence ought to be reduced,” his partner argued and they looked angrily at one another.

“No,” the officer with the rope said firmly, and then walked off towards the post, brokering no further discussion. The officer left behind looked to Adder with a short sigh.

“There is a healer on hand to attend to you,” he told Adder and indicated to a small woman standing on the far side of the courtyard, noticeable for her gender amongst all the soldiers, and her plain grey dress, “stay strong, lad.”

Adder nodded, his face a mask, before he strode over to the post with his back straight and proud. Even the sight of the officer binding Adder’s arms to the post, to hold him if he couldn’t stand, didn’t reduce Adder’s dignity. The man had the bearing of a stag, Isten thought faintly.

The officer who was to be beating Adder moved behind him and Isten saw Adder take a breath. He wasn’t even trembling.

“Forty lashes,” the officer announced sharply, “for murdering a fellow soldier.” _In self-defence_ , Isten thought bitterly, “Officer Marlow will be counting.” The officer nodded towards where his fellow was standing about ten feet away, his hands neatly folded in front of him, though his expression was displeased.

The officer lifted the odd rope and Isten stared at it. Adder was to be hit with _that_? Isten stared at it anew and realised that what he’d taken for tattiness was by design and that the rope had been deliberately split, and that the ends were knotted. _Hell_ , Isten thought. How was Adder going to survive being hit forty times with _that_?

The officer drew the rope over his left hand and then, swinging it backwards, he hit Adder with significant force.

Adder jerked forwards, his chest hitting the wooden post with an audible thud at the sheer weight behind the hit, but he didn’t make a sound. Isten cringed at the red stripe that had appeared on the skin of Adder’s wide back and thought, as the officer drew the rope back over his hand to strike again, whether he could really bear watching this.

Subsequent hits were meted out and that awful _thwack_ that only injured flesh makes echoed around the relatively quiet courtyard, but Adder didn’t do more than grunt, even as the lashes began to draw blood.

By the time Isten had counted ten, the officer paused to shake blood off the rope and Isten’s vision went momentarily grey with dizziness, before he ducked his head and sharply ordered himself to pull himself together. Adder was silent on the post, and still on his feet, and only the blood trickling down his back and the jerky rise and fall of his shoulders indicated that he was in pain.

The officer continued to strike Adder, cruelly seeming to be intentionally hitting the centre of Adder’s back every time. By the time Isten was getting close to counting twenty – half-way he thought desperately – Adder was visibly shaking and his back was significantly bloodied, his breathing harsh. He still wouldn’t cry out beyond a grunt, though, and Isten could see in the officer’s cruel face the twinge of disappointment as every strike failed to make Adder do anything more than groan.

Isten dragged a hand through his unkept hair, his hands clammy with sweat. He felt sick and terrified and yet his admiration of Adder only increased. He was so proud and stubborn that Isten wanted to gather him into his arms and kiss him. Hell, Isten wanted it so much, but picturing Adder sated and smirking was so difficult when he was currently leaning against a wooden post with his back dripping blood.

Adder remained standing right up until thirty when he staggered at the force of a particularly brutal strike, one that rang out horribly, and Adder’s foot went out from under him, sliding on the blood that had been steadily pooling around his feet. He fell to his knees with a hard thud and stayed there, shaking. The officer struck him immediately, without giving him a moment to adjust and yet Adder only gritted out a grunt, dropping his head forwards as bore it.

The officer watching, Marlow, called forty strikes at the same time Isten counted them, to Isten’s very great relief, and the officer dutifully ceased, though he looked at Adder’s bloodied back like he would have liked to take the skin straight off with a knife. But he just stepped away and leisurely coiled up the wet rope before he went to untie Adder’s arms.

Adder’s arms dropped limply when they were released and Isten feared that the Tern had lost consciousness without anyone realising, but, as his other arm was carelessly freed, Adder lifted his head.

The healer headed over quickly, as did Officer Marlow, but Adder, to Isten’s shock, and everyone present, took a hold of the post and deliberately and with determination dragged himself to his feet.

“Fucking hell, Adder,” Isten muttered to himself, staring at the man. But Adder couldn’t stay standing, not with the blood he’d lost and the agony he must have been in and though Isten saw absolute determination in Adder’s strong face, he was too pale and he took only two steps before his head nodded forwards and his knees folded as he collapsed, falling stiffly and heavily on his front.

Isten bolted forwards in a panic, clutching Adder’s shift and sword belt and nudging his way through the crowd. There was a general scuffle of talk and movement before soldiers came forwards out of the crowd, alongside the healer and Marlow. Adder’s arms were seized by two of the men and Adder stirred just as the soldiers were heaving him up, first to kneeling and then to standing, struggling under his weight. Adder staggered with his face twisted in absolute agony at the pull on his torn back but managed by some miracle to get his legs under him. Through his legs moved limply under him, he was all but carried across the courtyard and, as Isten followed anxiously behind, through the archway.

Isten blinked in the dimly lit passageway, keeping close behind, the sight of Adder’s wounds sickening him. The soldiers supported Adder down the cool, dim hallway down to a doorway, which was the healer’s room, thank god, and Isten came anxiously inside after Adder, dropping Adder’s things hastily in the corner to watch, fidgeting, as the soldiers sat Adder down on the bed, before lowering him onto his stomach. Isten grimaced at the bloody sight and the wrongness of how carelessly torn-up the skin and underlying tissue seemed. Blood had soaked the top of Adder’s trousers and now ran down around his ribs like paint, dripping onto the mattress.

The soldiers were waved away by the little healer and Isten avoided the Terns’ gazes as they moved past him to leave.

There was almost too much blood on Adder’s cut-up back for Isten to bear looking at, but he told himself rationally that things usually looked worse than they were, and forced himself to drag up a chair and sit down next to Adder’s head, letting the healer do her work without Isten in the way.

Reaching out hesitantly, Isten carefully touched Adder’s hair, though it was wet with sweat. Isten carefully combed his fingers through it, cradling Adder’s skull in a vain attempt to show him how much he wished he could take Adder’s pain away. But perhaps Adder did know, because his eyes, clouded with pain, opened and stayed on Isten, looking up at him with a kind of desperation. _Don’t leave_ , Isten saw in them.

Then Adder gave a full body flinch, his face tightening in pain, and Isten’s head came up sharply to see what in hell the healer was doing. The woman shot Isten a silencing look, sympathetic but firm, and Isten saw that she was stitching up one of the worst lacerations, gently easing the sides of the wound together.

Adder groaned, his whole body going rigid as he shoved his forehead into the bed. Isten tugged Adder’s hair lightly and leant down to press his face to Adder’s cheek, trying in any way to distract him from the pain the woman was causing him.

When the healer was done with that cut, Adder sagged into the bed, his gaze blank, except for that it wearily tracked Isten when Isten shifted in his chair.

The healer woman, once she’d closed the worst cuts, had covered Adder’s back in a layer of something sweet-smelling and sticky, followed by animal grease, before laying a fine cloth over the top. Isten couldn’t see how her ministrations could be of any help, but he was glad when she gave Adder some bark to chew. It looked similar to what Adder had been given by the Hikt healer for his damaged ribs but Isten could see that Adder was struggling somewhat to chew the stuff.

Isten had observed that, when only he was there, Adder would eat by spooning food into his mouth and then using his finger to put the food under his teeth so he could chew it, since, without a functioning tongue, he had no way of moving the food about in his mouth. But he didn’t seem to like having others seeing him eat like this and in public, he would only eat things which didn’t need much chewing. Adder seemed to have the same problem with the bark and, very gently, Isten put his finger to Adder’s lip. Adder’s gaze lifted to eye Isten with faint confusion but his lips eventually parted and Isten carefully felt for the half-chewed bark and moved it so that Adder could chew it. As Isten removed his finger, Adder’s lips closed around the tip, sucking lightly, and Isten smiled at him. He withdrew his finger only to smooth his thumb over Adder’s rough cheek and Adder’s tired eyes slid closed, though he chewed slowly on the bark.

Isten felt a tap on his shoulder and he looked up to see the healer looking down at him, and she gestured for him to follow her. Isten looked down at Adder and found him looking drowsily back. There was sweat on his forehead from pain and Isten frowned, touching Adder’s cheek lightly before he stood up and followed the healer out of the room, as she indicated.

“Will he be alright?” Isten asked immediately. The healer lifted an eyebrow and said something too fast and accented for Isten to understand, “What?” Isten said blankly and the healer rolled her eyes.

“I said,” she said, slowly and deliberately, “that he will be fine as long as it doesn’t get-” Isten didn’t catch the last word but reading the context he gathered that she had said, ‘infected’. Isten nodded silently. Yes, infection, which could strike the tiniest cut and rot off a whole hand, and yet completely miss the largest wounds; it seemed like a pointless, lethal lottery.

The healer spoke again, again too fast and then looked at him like he was a simpleton.

“I’m sorry,” Isten said flatly and she deigned to repeat herself.

“He needs to eat,” she articulated, “so go and get some food and drink for him. Do you understand, idiot-boy?”

Isten narrowed his eyes, “Yes, I understand,” he said curtly and walked away. He heard her mutter something and whatever it was, he was sure it wasn’t flattering.

Isten came back from the hall with broth and mead for them both and came into the room to set them down on the floor by Adder’s head. The healer wasn’t in sight and Isten sat down beside the bed. Adder stirred and opened his eyes, locking onto Isten.

“Hey,” Isten said, bending down to pick up the broth. He scooped up a spoonful of liquid and offered it to Adder.

Adder spat a mouthful of pulped bark onto the bed sheet and let Isten carefully feed him the broth, his eyes falling shut wearily. He didn’t want more than a few spoonfuls and refused to open his mouth for anymore. Isten gave Adder a little of the mead using the spoon, since he couldn’t see a better way of giving it to Adder while the man was lying on his stomach.

Adder clearly indicated he was done after that and Isten leaned back to hungrily devour his own, lukewarm stew, swallowing down the flagon and a half of mead that were left over. Isten’s nausea had mostly worn off, as long as he didn’t think about the whipping too long, and he found himself starving.

He put the bowls back on the floor when he was done and looked down at Adder, wondering whether he was asleep or not. There was a small wrinkle in his forehead that spoke of pain and Isten wished he could smooth it away.

Then Adder’s eyes opened and Isten looked back at him solemnly. Adder’s hand moved by his side and Isten glanced at it, before looking back at Adder’s face in confusion. Adder groaned and tried, to Isten’s alarm, to pull himself up, before his face contorted in agony and he stopped, shuddering.

“Adder,” Isten pleaded nervously, “what is it? What’s wrong?” Adder’s face twitched in irritation and he tried again to lift himself up, “Damn it,” Isten hissed, before he came hastily to his feet to grab Adder’s arms, trying to support him. Adder panted, shaking, as he finally got up to seated, dropping his legs over the edge of the bed with his teeth gritted in pain. He was too damn pale. When he was there he was still for several seconds, catching his breath, and Isten held up his weight.

“Oh damn it,” Isten realised, “you need to piss, don’t you?” Adder looked up at him with a mixture of irritation and relief and Isten glanced around the room, and then under the bed, where he found a small pan suitable for pissing in. Supporting Adder with a hand pressed to the man’s shoulder, Isten reached under the bed with the other and snagged the pan. He reached to scoot his chair closer so that Adder could lean his weight against Isten’s shoulder and Isten had his hands free to clumsily untie Adder’s trousers and carefully pull Adder’s cock out. It was the least erotic situation Isten had ever been in and he was entirely focused on being gentle as he angled Adder’s cock into the pan balanced in Isten’s lap.

“Go on,” he said softly. Adder made a frustrated noise and Isten kissed the man’s shoulder, turning his head away, “I’m not looking,” he promised, in case it helped.

There was a short while where Adder just leaned against Isten, breathing, and then Adder started pissing and Isten pressed another kiss to the Tern’s shoulder. When Adder was done, Isten carefully put the pan on the floor whilst trying not to jostle Adder overly much and then, when Adder had steeled himself, helped the Tern back down to lie on his stomach.

When Adder lay down, though, he seemed insistent on lying on the far edge of the small bed rather than the centre and, when Adder’s hand kept out to touch the now free space beside him, Isten realised Adder wanted Isten to lie next to him. There was expectation on Adder’s exhausted face and Isten, after nudging the pan further under the bed so he wouldn’t kick it over later, obliged Adder by carefully lying down beside him. There wasn’t enough space for Isten to lay on his stomach like Adder was, so he rested on his side, looking at Adder.

Adder’s hand moved across the small space between them to clutch Isten’s arm and Isten gripped him back, shifting marginally closer, so that his chest was against Adder’s arm, but without touching Adder’s back at all.

The fabric the healer woman had put on Adder’s back had slipped a little whilst he was sitting up and Isten very carefully corrected it, before he settled back beside Adder and brought his face forwards to put his forehead to Adder’s pain-wrinkled one. Adder nudged him slightly and Isten watched Adder’s eyes close before he closed his own. Isten stayed awake only long enough to hear Adder’s breathing settle into sleep.

*

The next week or so was long and slow, involving tending to Adder when he needed it and would allow it, lying alongside Adder, and going for short walks about the castle, although never too far. The healer changed Adder’s dressings at intervals and Isten would watch her as she moved around them the rest of the day, heating and distilling various herbs, and bottling and drying things. Isten offered to help out of boredom and she raised her eyebrows at him and only allowed him to sweep the floor and change Adder’s bedpan.

The healer had left about an hour or so, to where Isten didn’t know, and so he and Adder were alone.

“Adder, careful!” Isten snapped, when he came back from fetching Adder some tea and found the Tern sat on the edge of the bed. Since the healer had seen how Adder struggled to chew, she had brusquely shown Isten how to make tea from the bark and so Adder had his pain medicine that way.

Isten hastily set the tea on the side and came over to Adder, who was sweating with pain but obviously determined to sit up.

“What is it?” Isten said. Adder glowered at him, taking hold of Isten’s wrist and squeezing it hard enough to bruise. Isten flinched and then glared back, though he didn’t make a move to remove himself from Adder’s crushing hold. Isten bore Adder’s frustration and pain in the bruises Adder pressed into his skin. Isten didn’t mind it enough to try to get Adder to stop, since Adder always released him before the discomfort became unbearable.

Adder’s grip sagged after a few minutes and pain returned to Adder’s face. He looked tired and sickly pale, but the healer had assured Isten, in her slow, patronising way, that Adder was healing well, considering. It would be a week or more before he was even half-way back to where he had been, though. Isten had reluctantly proposed leeches one evening, when Adder seemed to be in a great amount of pain, but the healer had rolled her eyes at him like he was ridiculous. _Take more blood from him, when he has already lost a bucket-full?_ she said contemptuously, _Leeches are for barbarians, child. Here we try to keep the blood **inside** the body_. Isten glared at her and sulked for an hour or so before he accepted the wisdom of what she’d said, under all her scorn. Regardless, he was pleased that he didn’t have to see those disgusting, black slugs stuck to Adder’s skin. Isten shuddered at just the thought of their pulsing, slimy bodies.

Adder gestured for the tea Isten had brought and Isten quickly picked it up and handed it to Adder as the Tern clearly wanted, though he kept a hand close by in case Adder slipped. Adder’s hand shook minutely as he drank but he didn’t seem to be about to drop it all over himself and so Isten sat silently, watching Adder in the same way he caught Adder watching him: steadily and unabashed.

Adder drank the tea quickly, though it was hot, and pushed the cup back into Isten’s hands impatiently. Once Isten had set it aside, Adder put his arm firmly over Isten’s shoulder and Isten grasped Adder’s hand, since he couldn’t put an arm around Adder’s back without hurting him. Isten had done it by accident, once, and Adder’s noise of pain had been more than enough to make him remember not to do it again, if Adder’s venomous glare hadn’t been.

His face set with resolve, Adder clenched his hand around the ball of Isten’s shoulder and then began shifting himself off the bed, much to Isten’s alarm.

“This is too soon,” he said, “Adder, please, wait a few more days.” He had a hand on Adder’s chest trying to dissuade him, but he put no pressure on it. He knew for certain that if he refused to help, Adder would only try and stand on his own and likely hurt himself. And since Adder didn’t even acknowledge Isten’s protest, Isten reluctantly gripped Adder’s hand and tried to hold firm under Adder’s weight as the Tern heaved himself up off the bed to stand with a grunt.

Isten set his jaw firmly as Adder leaned on him, but Adder was surprisingly steady and when he went to take a step forwards, Isten wasn’t as worried as he had been that Adder would just collapse on him and Isten wouldn’t be able to hold him up.

After that first step, Adder paused, leaning heavily on Isten again and even as Isten’s shoulder ached, he thought about how Adder let him see this; his struggle and his weakness, and how he let Isten help where he didn’t let anyone else. Isten told himself it was just because Adder needed _someone_ and Isten was convenient, but a stubborn part of him said that Adder didn’t need anyone at all. That if Isten hadn’t have been there, Adder would have silently done everything alone. Isten wondered sometimes, when he looked at Adder, especially when the Tern was asleep, what Adder had been like before he was captured. What his voice had sounded like and whether he smiled more and what he would have said. Whether he’d been less inclined to violence before. He wondered whether Adder had loved ones somewhere. He wondered what Adder’s real name was.

Adder grunted quietly as he stepped forwards again, and then again. He headed towards the door and Isten pressed his lips together in silent disapproval but helped Adder walk slowly out into the cool, dim corridor. It didn’t matter if the sun was bright outside, it never penetrated through to this part of the castle.

Adder glanced left and right down the corridor and then set off.

“Where are we going, Adder?” Isten muttered. He doubted greatly that Adder wanted to be seen like this by soldiers, but they were headed towards the courtyard and the route to the main hall, which was almost always had somebody or other passing through, “The courtyard is this way.” Adder kept walking, shooting Isten a withering look for pointing out the obvious. Isten rolled his eyes.

Adder’s breathing was somewhat laboured by the time they got close to the archway to the courtyard and Adder tensed as a pair of servants moved past but they didn’t see him. The next one did, though, and she stared at him before hastily looking away and hurrying off. After that, Adder didn’t react to the looks he got but seemed determined to reach the patchy sunshine which was coming in from the courtyard. Isten glanced at Adder and wondered whether it could really be as simple as Adder wanting to see light. It was so dim in the healer’s room, and Adder had been stuck there for days. Isten pressed his lips together. Perhaps the darkness reminded Adder of being trapped, stuck in a dark tent like the one Isten had found him in. Perhaps. Isten would probably never know.

They reached the archway and Adder pulled away from Isten to lean against it, closing his eyes against the brightness. Isten smiled at him, at the way the sunlight made Adder’s pale face glow. Everyone here was lighter-skinned than Isten was, but Adder’s was particularly pale, sickly in his bloodlessness where he previously had had an attractive flush across his cheekbones.

Adder stood there for a little over five minutes, ignoring everyone that passed and stared at him, before he turned to Isten and draped his arm back over Isten’s shoulders. They made their way steadily back to the healer’s room, where Adder lay back down wearily and went almost instantly to sleep. The healer looked up as they entered from where she was sat knitting what looked like a sock and gave both of them a disapproving look.

“Decided to come back, did you?” she said sourly. Isten had gotten better at picking her words out from her accent, and he thought she might have slowed her speech for him just a little.

Isten shot her an obnoxious smile, “Adder wanted a walk,” he said and she glowered at him. Isten grinned back, too pleased by Adder’s improvement and the image of Adder’s face in the sunlight to be displeased by anything the healer said. He thought they’d settled into a kind of friendly animosity, especially since he started bringing her cups of herbal tea like he’d seen her make for herself whenever he went to make Adder’s medicinal tea.

She exhaled heavily in obvious exasperation and Isten sat back in his chair to idly look up at the mottled ceiling. There wasn’t anything to do but wait.


	9. Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adder and Isten get visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, here we are, this is a little later than usual I'm afraid, but I hope you all like it :)

“Good evening.” A male voice said and Isten startled to full wakefulness. He’d been falling asleep in his chair and his neck gave a twinge of protest when he straightened. It was Officer Marlow and Isten came politely up to stand, his hand on his neck. Marlow gave him a small, kind smile, “You shouldn’t fall asleep in chairs,” he said, “I always regret it when I do.”

Isten forced a stiff smile back, even as he looked at the man and could only think of him standing and just watching as Adder was hit. The sound of Marlow’s voice calling out _forty_.

Marlow looked over at Adder and Isten shifted to the side, out of the way. Marlow was holding a small pile of books in his hands and Isten wondered what he was planning to do with those.

“Well I thought I’d come to wish him a quick recovery,” Marlow said, a touch rigidly, like he’d been planning what to say. There was pain on his face as he glanced over Adder’s back, which wasn’t covered with the fabric anymore, “But as he’s asleep,” Marlow trailed off.

Adder’s eyes opened slowly, and his gaze shifted upwards to take in Marlow’s figure with a slight narrowing of his eyes. Isten saw Adder’s jaw clench and then he was pushing himself up to seated. Isten’s hand twitched as if to move to help, but Adder wouldn’t want it, and he was improved enough that he hardly needed it. Isten just disliked Adder’s slight grimace of pain.

“Oh please don’t trouble-” Marlow started, uselessly. Isten knew that Adder would be damned if he saw visitors, however unwanted, lying on his stomach. “Well,” Marlow said, when Adder was upright, “I’m glad to see you looking a little better,” he said. He held out the books to Adder and Isten’s eyebrows rose. “I thought you might be bored,” Marlow said, as Adder’s hands came up slowly to take the books, “Of course, if they don’t interest you,” Marlow shrugged.

Isten eyed Adder curiously. _Could_ the man read? Adder gave no indication either way, except to set the books down on the bed beside him and give Marlow a nod of thanks. Marlow nodded back.

“Well then,” he said, “I wish you a swift return to health.” He turned, nodded at the healer sat at her desk, and then at Isten, who inclined his head politely. Then he turned and departed quietly.

Isten exhaled in a huff and sat back down in his chair. Adder was looking the books over with apparent interest and Isten watched him. After a moment, Adder offered one to Isten and Isten accepted it, lifting his eyebrows at Adder when the Tern looked at him expectedly. When Isten did nothing, Adder roughly took the book back, flicked it open and turned several pages before putting it back in Isten’s lap with a jab at the paper.

Isten blinked at Adder, “I can’t read,” he said, when he realised that Adder wanted him to read aloud. Adder stared at him like Isten had just said he liked to eat leeches. When he took the book back it was more hesitant and he eyed Isten like he was a very odd creature, “What?” he demanded from Adder. Isten heard the healer tut in the corner and Isten turned to glare at her and the disapproving, pitying expression on her face, “I’m not _stupid_ ,” he snapped, and got sharply to his feet, “I’m going for a walk,” he said and walked out before Adder could catch his hand or protest.

When he returned with his temper somewhat cooled, he found Adder lying on his stomach reading and the healer sipping her tea over her own book. Isten rolled his eyes at the pair.

Adder’s hand came out to grab Isten’s wrist and when he looked up from his book his stare was irritated. A light tug prompted Isten to sit down and then Adder went back to his stupid book, though he didn’t release Isten’s wrist, but dug his nails into Isten’s skin. Isten scowled at him but he sat there and bore the pinpoints of sharp pain. When Adder held the pressure long enough, pain seemed to radiate outwards, down Isten’s wrist and into his hand and it was both awful, and relaxing in some perverse way, to be grounded like that.

Adder ceased after a few minutes, seeming to concede that was enough punishment for Isten’s outburst, and just held Isten’s wrist lightly. Isten didn’t mind it as much as he probably should have.

Isten wasn’t very good at sitting still for extended periods, though, and he soon got bored of watching Adder’s eyes scan the tiny black squiggles printed on the paper. Isten didn’t feel envious of Adder’s ability to make sense of them, exactly, but there was something tight in his belly as he sat there while the two Terns read, something like exclusion.

Adder didn’t read for long before his head was nodding over the leather-bound book and Isten carefully took it away and replaced it with a pillow and Adder’s breathing settled into sleep. Adder still slept far more than normal, and deeply too, and even as the healer said it was perfectly normal whilst Adder was recovering, Isten hoped for a time when Adder was as sharp as Isten was used to him being. No doubt when he was back to his usual intense self, Isten thought, he would be wanting this sleepy Adder back again.

The sound of a sharp tapping of heeled footsteps coming towards the door made Isten sit up in curiosity and he looked over as the door opened.

But Isten’s stomach dropped sickeningly when he saw who it was and he came jerkily to his feet to stare at _that_ officer; the man who’d ruined Adder’s back, before Isten remembered to drop his gaze.

“Evening,” the officer said curtly to the healer, ignoring Isten, and then looked down at Adder, stilling when he saw that Adder was asleep. Isten sent off a silent wish that Adder didn’t wake up to see this man hovering over him, that he would remain oblivious.

“It is customary that officers visit a soldier after administering punishment,” the officer said, looking down at Adder’s back with an expression of disgust. He said it as if to make obvious that he wasn’t coming here out of compassion or guilt, but only duty, “I see he is healing.”

“He is, sir,” Isten said coldly, “I’ll tell him you were here.” _Get out_ , he wanted to shout, _and don’t you fucking touch him_.

The officer shot him a glance full of loathing, “Shut up,” he said flatly and Isten flushed in indignation but managed to hold his tongue. The officer’s eyes roamed over Adder’s prone form in a way that made Isten want to hit him.

To Isten’s great relief, the officer exhaled and turned to leave. Then he paused at the door to look back at Isten with a look of lazy cruelty, “I suppose,” he said, looking Isten over, his voice low enough that Isten wasn’t sure the healer could hear, “he was quite pleased to get such Hikt filth as a slave. Truly, he could not keep company with a freed man.”

A shot of cold hatred made Isten’s tense, “I am _not_ Hikt,” he snapped.

The officer’s hand shot out as if to backhand Isten and Isten flinched, but the officer stopped himself at the last moment and Isten saw his eyes flit over to the healer sat in the corner.

“Watch your fucking tongue, _slave_ ,” the officer spat, “or you’ll lose it like he did.” Isten glared at him with absolute loathing. A smile curled up the officer’s face, “Two mutes together,” he said softly, “how sweet.”

Isten’s hand twitched by his side he wanted to hit the man so badly, but he, barely, restrained himself and just stood with every tendon in him tight with hatred. A movement off to the side caught both their attention and Adder was shifting carefully up to seated with pain on his face, though it wasn’t obvious. When Adder turned to the officer there was a small sneer twitched on his lips. His eyes were hard with interminable loathing and it was the most sinister expression Isten had seen on the Tern. Even the officer looked briefly unsettled before his expression settled on aloofness.

“I see you are improved,” the officer said flatly. He waited as if for an answer but Adder clearly didn’t think the soulless comment deserved so much as a nod and there was violent disgust in the officer’s expression, “Good,” he spat and then, with a final, filthy glance at Isten, he turned and left.

Adder turned to cock an eyebrow at Isten, his expression softening into neutrality as soon as the officer left, and Isten tried to tamp down the hatred inside him.

“Fucking asshole,” he said and Adder’s smile was small but real. Then the Tern flicked a look over Isten’s body and gestured for him to come closer. Isten heaved a slight sigh but obediently crossed the room to come to him.

Isten looked over pointedly at the healer, but the woman, to Isten’s irritation, got to her feet with an imperious look on her face.

“Do try not to damage yourselves,” she said as she was leaving and Isten shot her a glare, but then she was gone and the door was closed quietly behind her. Isten stared at it for a moment as Adder’s hands were moving up to grip Isten’s hips and the Tern pulled him forwards, urging him to climb up into Adder’s lap, straddling him.

“You’re still healing,” Isten tried, but Adder was ignoring him, as he seemed to enjoy doing and Isten expelled an exasperated breath and bit Adder’s ear to show his displeasure. He didn’t think Adder was going to hurt him – not now, in someone else’s room and with Adder injured, and he had _sworn_ not to – which left Isten able to mostly succumb to the temptation of Adder’s long fingers and his body, which just thrummed with life. Adder was just as addictive as he was utterly terrifying.

Adder’s hand went down Isten’s trousers, drawing him out. He took his own cock in his other hand but his eyes were on Isten, bright with the intensity behind them. Adder’s hands moved slowly over both of them as he tilted forwards to nip and suck at Isten’s throat, and Isten’s rolled his head back to give him better access and forgot entirely about the healer.

It took only a few minutes before Isten’s cock was painfully hard and he felt like his gut was throbbing with the need that Adder had roused in him. But Adder’s hand wasn’t moving faster, in fact he was slowing down, and Isten groaned, “Come _on_ , Adder,” he urged, bucking his hips upwards into Adder’s fingers, which was currently doing little more than holding his cock. Isten looped his arms around the back of Adder’s neck, whilst being careful not to touch any of Adder’s wounds, and pushed his head against Adder’s collarbone, “Come _on_ , you started this.”

Adder expelled a breath of what sounded like amusement and Isten, irritated, moved his fingers up into Adder’s hair and dug them into his scalp. Adder grunted lowly in pain and he pinched the underside of Isten’s cock.

“Fuck Adder!” Isten snapped in pain, his hips twitching away from Adder’s hand as his erection subsided a little, before Adder was slowly started moving his hand again and Isten’s dropped his head against the man’s chest with a groan, “Are you trying to drive me mad?” he muttered.

Adder had never _delayed_ like this. Isten hadn’t even really thought him capable of it, considering how animalistic he could be when he focused on pleasuring himself.

“Have you been planning this?” Isten said, his voice strained. He hadn’t come in the time since Adder had been injured and the result was that Isten was sensitive in a way that meant he knew release was going to be painfully intense when he finally did come. It didn’t help that Adder was dragging it on like this.

Isten bore Adder’s teasing for another minute or so before he thumped Adder’s chest hard enough to knock some of the breath out of the man, and dent the predatory smugness in his eyes just slightly. Pushing himself off Adder’s lap, he dragged his trousers up while glaring at Adder.

“I’ll finish myself if you’re going to be an asshole,” he said irritably. Adder looked angry, but he only cocked an eyebrow and Isten froze and stared at him, “You are _not_ ,” he started abortively. Adder looked at him with a flicker of uncertainty and Isten didn’t break eye contact. He was rigid with anger, “You are not trying to manipulate me into letting you fuck me. You are _not_.”

Adder stared at him, but Isten couldn’t read his expression. He couldn’t tell whether the Tern’s expression confirmed Isten’s accusations or if it had taken Adder by surprise. Isten waited, watching Adder, but the Tern wasn’t doing anything but look at him and Isten scowled.

“Fuck you,” he muttered and, wincing, he tied his trousers over his half-hard cock and made for the door.

But Adder grabbed his arm and Isten’s heart stuttered with a brief but awful terror, and it was only because he was struggling to make his body obey him that he didn’t try to wrench his hand from Adder’s grip. But then Adder was tugging Isten back towards the bed and Isten didn’t _want_ to. He hadn’t particularly wanted to have Adder jerk him off before the Tern had started it. He didn’t want to be toyed with, and he _didn’t_ want Adder to fuck him.

He tried to pull his hand free of Adder’s hand then, but Adder was so goddamn strong, even injured, and he pulled Isten towards him without even trying. Isten refused to look at him but glared at the floor, shaking.

Adder’s grip on his arm hadn’t loosened so Isten just stood there because he was too tired to fight just then, though he would. Adder’s hand came up towards his face and Isten twitched away an inch before he held himself still. The touch was surprisingly gentle and Isten glanced over at Adder wearily and found an oddly conflicted expression on the Tern’s face. There was confusion and anger, there was always anger, but there was something that was almost soft enough to be concern and it was that which stopped Isten from kicking Adder in the groin when Adder put his hands on Isten’s waist and pulled him forwards so that Isten was left standing in front of him. He glared down at Adder tiredly.

Adder released an audible sigh and then he was nudging Isten in ways that made it clear he wanted Isten to sit on the bed. Warily, Isten obliged. Adder kept tugging at him with firm hands but Isten didn’t want to lie back like Adder seemed to want and so he tested his strength against Adder’s persistent pushing and after a moment, to Isten’s surprise, Adder stopped. He did shift backwards on the bed to put himself behind Isten, though, which made Isten tense. Adder’s hands were on his shoulders, his back, his neck and they were possessive and persistent but they weren’t forceful and so Isten sat there and let himself be petted.

“You didn’t give me an answer,” Isten muttered, when Adder had tucked his chin over Isten’s shoulder, his arms holding Isten around the waist, but he had mostly stopped moving and seemed content to sit for a moment. Isten had very little idea at all about what Adder was thinking, “About why you were doing that,” he said. Adder bit his shoulder, but it was relatively gentle. Isten exhaled in reluctant, exhausted amusement, “That’s not an answer,” he said, but he wasn’t really expecting one, and not because Adder was mute but because Isten suspected the Tern had kept much of his mind locked up in his skull even before he was unable to verbalise his thoughts. But what did Isten know? Perhaps Adder had a different man before the allies of Isten’s people tortured and mutilated him.

Adder shifted backwards and cool air moved over Isten’s skin where Adder’s warm chest had been pressed to his back. He shivered. A finger on Isten’s chin guided him to look over his shoulder at Adder and what he found was irritation on Adder’s strong, dangerous features, but it was more exasperated than violent, or at least it was as far as Isten could tell. Then Adder shook his head in answer to Isten’s question, just once but deliberately and Isten sighed and slumped back against Adder’s chest. The man gave a soft ‘ooft’ of surprise or pain, Isten wasn’t sure, and then the Tern’s arms were back around Isten’s body, tight and unmovable.

“I don’t know if I believe you,” he murmured as he turned his head into Adder’s skin. Perhaps Adder had been dragging Isten’s climax out simply because he wanted to see what would happen. Perhaps it was a fantasy of his and perhaps he’d meant nothing by it, but Isten couldn’t shake how calculated Adder could be, and how he demanded things in a manner that didn’t allow for refusal. Isten couldn’t trust that Adder would allow Isten to say ‘no’ for much longer and touching him like that, making him desperate, just seemed like a manipulative way to get Isten to do as the Tern wanted without Adder actually having to physically force him. Without breaking the oath Isten had asked Adder to make, “I’m so tired, Adder,” Isten said, feeling the rise and fall of Adder’s chest, “does that please you?”

Adder didn’t react to his words except to bite softly at Isten’s skin. Isten didn’t mind. It was almost reassuring, in a way. Adder was unpredictable, so much so that Isten knew he could exhaust himself trying to guess Adder’s next moves or his motivations, but in this he was constant. Isten didn’t know why the Tern did it so much. At first Adder’s teeth had been vicious, but now it just seemed possessive, and maybe, if Isten could bear to think it, fond? Isten was just beginning to realise how permanent Adder’s attachment to him was starting to seem, not in any romantic sense but merely as an object that Isten didn’t think Adder wasn’t going to get tired of anytime soon. Until he fucked Isten, perhaps. Or until Isten broke.

Isten felt fragile when Adder, several minutes later, shifted backwards on the bed and, keeping a hand on Isten’s ribs, lay down on the narrow bed with a noise of contained pain. When Isten looked back, Adder was watching him intently and Isten dropped his gaze away from it. Adder’s hand on his Isten’s side pulled lightly at him, urging him to lie down next to Adder and Isten gave in soon enough, sliding his legs up to settle beside Adder, putting his back to the Tern because he didn’t want to look at that face and try futilely over and over again to guess what Adder was thinking.

Isten put a few inches between them, enough that he couldn’t feel Adder’s skin pressed against his. Usually, Adder would drag Isten close enough to be either comforting or suffocating, depending how Isten was feeling. Currently he wanted so desperately for Adder to keep his distance, to let Isten have his skin to himself for just a few hours, that he wasn’t sure what he would do if Adder pulled him close. _Coward_ , Isten’s mind hissed at him, but he could feel nothing but relief when the hand that had been on Isten’s waist was retracted slowly and Adder didn’t try to touch him, though they were still close enough that Isten could feel Adder’s breathing tickling the fine hairs at the back of his neck.

Isten tried to keep his head from going down dark lanes but he was struggling to stop it. It seemed like a long time that he lay there, trying not to panic, but when Adder’s breathing seemed stable enough that he might be asleep, Isten very slowly inched himself towards the edge of the small bed and then, very carefully, slid himself off it, his bare feet touching the cool floor.

In the dim, grey light of evening that was struggling to come through the small window above the healer’s desk, Isten slipped down off the mattress and down to his knees. He pressed his hands to the dusty floor beneath his palms and pushed down because his heart was going too fast, and he was terrified, god, he was so _scared_ , and he didn’t know how to stop it. He wished he knew how Adder had managed to be composed when he hurting, when he’d been captured; how he managed to close off everything but anger. Isten would welcome anger instead of this terror that was making him sick because there was _nothing he could do_. He didn’t even hate Adder for anything, everything, he’d done, and not having anyone specific to blame for the painful mess that was now his life made it worse.

Too tired to stand, Isten moved on his hands and knees over to the other side of the room, which wasn’t more than six feet away and, once there, he sat down with his back to the wall and stared blankly forwards.

It took him several seconds to realise that Adder’s eyes were open and looking back at him and the realisation sent a shock through Isten that made him shiver. But he didn’t move except to let his eyes drift away from Adder’s down to the floor. He brought his knees to his chest because he was cold and he felt vulnerable and he wrapped his arms around them tightly in an attempt to stop himself from falling apart.

Adder came up to sitting, his figure shadowy in the sparse light, and Isten flinched, like a _coward_ , and pushed his head into his arms, like a child. _Because you’re a pathetic fucking mess_ , his head hissed.

He heard the bed creak as Adder moved on the bed, or stood, Isten didn’t know, because he wasn’t looking. He heard the shuffle of Adder’s bare feet on the floor and he went tense expecting Adder to come striding and haul him up and- do what? Something awful. But Isten still didn’t look.

A shocking, explosive _crash_ of sound made Isten recoil so hard that his back sparked with pain where he’d tried to jerk backwards into the wall and only succeeded in bruising his spine. His head came up off his arms instinctively and he saw Adder stood over the bed with his fists clenched. The bed was several feet away from where it should have been and he realised that Adder must have kicked it. Adder just stood there with his powerful, damaged back to Isten and breathed heavily, his head angled down at the bed with such tension in him that Isten was certain that Adder wanted to keep kicking it until it was crushed, ruined pile of broken timber and splinters.

But Adder didn’t. Instead he turned slowly to look at Isten, who struggled not to flinch under it. Isten tried to summon some courage, anger, _anything_ , but fear won out almost immediately and he hunkered down with his gaze on the floor. Adder growled like something animal and then moved forwards and Isten went rigid in dread, only for Adder to head for the door, throwing it open and walking outside, leaving the room oddly quiet behind him. Isten, shocked, watched him go and worried that Adder would hurt his back. But he didn’t say anything and he didn’t get up, watching Adder go in silence.


	10. Reluctance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have some down-time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a fairly chill chapter for you all :) but just wait till next week, shit's gonna hit the fan.

The healer huffed a loud sigh and her feet moved to stand in front of Isten, “Why are you on the floor, hm Hikt? Get up, come on. Stupid boys.”

“Not a Hikt,” Isten grumbled, half asleep where he was curled up by the wall. He didn’t have anything against the fucking Hikts, except that he _wasn’t_ one. But he was too groggy and sore from lying on the hard surface to try to put his mind to any extended thoughts.

“What?” the healer said dismissively. She was tugging at Isten’s arms trying to get him to stand and Isten tried to shake her off but eventually surrendered to her tugging and allowed himself to be towed to his feet.

Adder was lying on his side on the narrow bed – which was back in its original position – reading one of the books Marlow had brought him. He looked up when Isten stood but his expression was impassive and he only glanced cursorily over Isten before he returned his attention to his precious book. Isten’s eyes narrowed but, since the healer was there and he was still feeling too close to the edge of breaking into pieces, he didn’t say anything.

The healer tutted where she’d returned to her corner and though she wasn’t even looking over, Isten knew it was directed at the pair of them. He rubbed his gritty eyes and thought how much he needed to wash. Last night’s fear had made his sweat disgustingly sour.

“I’m going to the stream,” he muttered and, trying to flatten his hair slightly, he headed for the door. Adder made a gesture with his hand and Isten paused reluctantly to look over at him. Adder tapped the side of the empty cup by the side of the bed which he usually took tea in and looked expectantly at Isten, “Tea,” Isten muttered, “right.”

The walk to the stream was quiet and uneventful. It was still early enough that most soldiers, drunk the night before, were still unconscious in their tents. The few that were ambling around, amongst the castle staff, didn’t bother Isten, for which he was glad.

He crouched down at the side of the stream where another man was washing, and set to cleaning himself, scrubbing his face first, which was grimy with the gunk he’d picked up lying on the floor, and then his torso and feet, which were almost always filthy. The stream was running with more water now that spring was settling in to stay and Isten enjoyed the feel of the icy water as it gushed past and numbed his skin.

The sky was cloudy and the breeze brisk so Isten was shivering as he sat down to let the worst of the wetness on his skin dry.

He was quickly becoming sick of the healer’s room. Adders presence was exhausting in many ways, and he was looking forward to Adder being healed if only to break up the monotony. Adder didn’t seem as affected by it, but then he slept much of the time, or read. And Isten supposed the man was more used to long stretches of nothing since he’d been kept captive, and that was a sobering thought.

Isten rubbed his wet hair before putting his shift on and making his way back to the castle, crossing the foul-smelling moat. In the kitchens, which were fairly quiet at this time, he made Adder and the healer some tea.

The healer didn’t thank him when he set it down but she did shoot him an appreciative glance. Adder just nodded once and sipped at it as he read.

Isten stood there for a minute wondering what in hell he could do. The healer looked over at him and said something too fast for him to understand. He blinked at her and she rolled her eyes and repeated herself more slowly.

“If you are restless, the stable-boys could do with an extra pair of hands, with all the horses.” Isten shrugged. That would be better than sitting around for yet another day anyway. He looked over at Adder who nodded his consent without looking up from his book and Isten headed off again towards the outer court, across which he was fairly sure the horses were kept.

The work was exhausting and the unwelcoming looks directed his way by the other stable hands, who consistently directed him to do the worst jobs, didn’t help. But Isten was glad to be doing _something_ , something physical that might mean he would actually sleep tonight, and to be away from Adder just for a while.

It didn’t last, of course, and Isten was refilling the hay-nets around early evening when Adder appeared and made Isten jump. Adder was wearing a shift for the first time in a while and the dirty-white made his face appear even paler than it was, but otherwise he looked significantly improved and Isten stood and glanced over at him, as the other hands whispered but not far enough away that they couldn’t be heard.

“That’s- the soldier who killed-”

“How is he _walking_? Is he bleeding?”

Isten clenched a hand and avoided Adder’s gaze, which was steady and silent, as always. He made a move as if to indicate for Isten to continue what he was doing, so Isten expelled a heavy breath and continued down the line of horses until the wheelbarrow was empty.

Isten had water troughs to fill but he was worn out and he wasn’t sure what Adder was doing here exactly. Besides, the other stable hands hadn’t done half as much as he had today; they could actually do their jobs and lug the water back and forth from the well.

Isten dusted his hands off and came to stand a couple of feet from Adder expectantly. Adder jerked his head and walked away and Isten went after him, only glancing over his shoulder to glare at the stable hands who were muttering about them.

“What is it, Adder?” Isten asked as they walked, “Are you angry at me?” Adder didn’t respond to his question and Isten followed in silence. Adder was walking slowly enough that Isten wasn’t sure that Adder had a destination in mind.

Adder led them steadily across the relatively short distance from the stables towards the archway that led to outside the castle walls, where the soldiers camped, but instead of heading through it, Adder led him inside the walls and up a narrow set of stairs. The Tern’s breathing increased as he climbed, in pain or exertion, and Isten trailed behind, his legs sore from his work. He wondered where in hell Adder was taking him and why.

They reached the top of the blockish structure and Adder headed out of the tower onto the castle walls. Isten hesitated, looking over the walls at the drop down to the grass on one side and the stagnant water on the other, before he eventually trailed after Adder and came out nervously into the quickly cooling air. Adder was standing by the wall, looking out beyond the castle walls and Isten came slowly over to him, following the Tern’s gaze.

The camp site below was dotted with small fires and drifting plumes of smoke, but beyond that the landscape stretched out in dull greens and browns, moving between farmland and untouched stretches, undulating and dotted with trees. The sun was setting steadily behind the clouds, milky and slow, draining the light from the sky. Isten’s gaze flickered up to Adder’s impassive face, the Tern’s expression quiet, settled. His chest rose and fell steadily under his shift and no blood was coming through the material, which was an improvement.

Adder moved away to sit down with his back against the other wall so that he look outwards from where he was sitting. He visibly tensed as he very cautiously leaned back against the wall but obviously it was too painful to lean his back against it because he sat forwards again, with his legs crossed. He lifted his eyes up to look at Isten, who let Adder seize his wrist and pull him down to sit in front of him. Adder’s arms, predictably, closed around his ribs and Adder tilted forwards so that his chest was against Isten’s back, but he didn’t move otherwise and so they just sat there, looking out at the cloudy, steadily darkening sky.

Just as the sun was almost gone, Adder extricated one arm from where it was snaked around Isten’s torso and took hold of Isten’s jaw. Isten tensed with a blink but didn’t react quickly enough to stop Adder turning his head and kissing him.

Isten flinched then and tried to pull away, the tendons in his neck tight, but Adder just chased him a few inches, keeping their lips pressed together, and then his grip on Isten’s face tightened enough that Isten couldn’t comfortably pull himself away from it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like to kiss Adder, as little as Adder normally allowed it, but that Isten felt too emotionally raw from last night to have Adder do this.

But Adder lips were demanding and his grip on Isten’s face was unforgiving, his fingers pressing into Isten’s skin to hold him where Adder wanted him and Isten couldn’t extricate himself. After a few seconds, Isten accepted that he wasn’t moving unless he wanted to put up more of a fight than he was currently willing to risk, and submitted to Adder kissing him. When Isten slumped slightly and gave up trying to pull away, Adder’s grip loosened and he eased back to put a finger-span of space between their lips before he pressed back down again, but almost hesitantly.

As Isten relaxed and closed his eyes, more out of temporary surrender than anything else, he found himself thinking about how Adder kissed, and how this was the first kiss he’d actually initiated. Isten remembered kissing Adder that first time, when Adder had been captive, and how the man had bitten him hard enough to not be playful at all. And since then, Adder had been resistant to Isten kissing him, perhaps because of his missing tongue. Isten wondered why Adder was initiating it _now_.

Isten mostly let Adder kiss him in his slightly too-rough manner and didn’t participate with any particular eagerness, but he was drawn slowly into reciprocating and Adder’s thumb idly stroked his side in a way that wasn’t entirely unwelcome. Adder parted his lips a little more and paused and Isten went to slide his tongue forwards, only for Adder to draw away far enough that Isten could see the Tern’s whole face when he opened his eyes. Adder’s fingers tightened on Isten’s face, digging into Isten’s jaw-bone, and a muscle twitched in his lean, bristled cheek. He seemed to be looking at Isten like he wanted Isten to understand something. Isten licked his bruised lips and saw Adder follow the movement.

Adder kissed him again and Isten kept his tongue back, wondering if it was that which Adder didn’t like. And Adder didn’t pull back again so perhaps he was right.

When Adder did pull away, Isten’s lips were beginning to feel tingly and swollen, and Adder released Isten’s jaw and linked his arms back around Isten’s waist to rest his chin on Isten’s shoulder. Isten turned back to the sky and pressed his lips together tiredly, trying to figure out what he was feeling. Adder leaned on Isten’s back and Isten settled back against him with Adder’s legs either side of his hips. It didn’t feel overly invasive, but the physical contact stirred up the emotions Isten had been trying to repress all day.

Isten huffed a tired sigh as he turned away from the dark, empty sky to put his cheek to Adder’s shoulder, “I still like you,” Isten confessed softly. He laughed quietly, bitterly, “But you terrify me, Adder.” There was just the sound of them breathing, and the movements of the castle including the soldier’s talking and laughing, “It would just be so much easier if I hated you.”

Adder’s warm breath passed over Isten’s neck as the Tern laughed quietly. It didn’t seem cruelly meant, though Isten couldn’t see his face so he wasn’t sure but Isten didn’t do anything except press himself closer to Adder to ward off the growing cold. Adder tightened his hold slightly in response before it loosened again and they sat there for several more minutes whilst Isten’s skin, warm from his exercise in the stables, cooled in the night air and he began to feel drowsy.

After several minutes, Adder heaved a breath and dug his nails into Isten’s shift lightly, just to stir him. Isten made a soft noise of protest but he rubbed his eyes and pulled himself upright so that he was no longer leaning against Adder’s firm, warm chest. Adder groaned quietly, his arms uncurling from Isten’s ribs and allowing him to shift away, though he turned to shoot Adder a concerned glance.

“Are you alright?” he asked, glancing at Adder’s ribs like it would tell him whether they were hurting. Adder’s back was his most obvious injury but Isten knew the Tern’s ribs still pained him and yet Isten had still been leaning against them for a half-hour or more.

But Adder just nodded and got to his feet stoically. He paused momentarily to look at Isten like he wanted to say something but only shook his head minutely and took Isten’s wrist and headed off back towards the healer’s room.

Adder’s face tightened as he lay himself gingerly down on the bed when they got there. The healer shot them both a disapproving look but didn’t say anything and she soon disappeared off to wherever she usually slept.

Although Adder seemed to have dealt with the exercise well, his skin was still sticky when Isten lay down beside him and he dropped into sleep immediately. Isten’s body ached from the day’s work and he knew he’d be sore tomorrow, but it was his lips that he touched lightly as he lay there. Just as Adder was touching his body now, possessively, so had he dug his fingers into Isten’s mind and Isten couldn’t shake his grip. Despite the exercise, it was a while before Isten finally managed to relax into sleep.


	11. News Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adder and Isten receive some news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how near the end we are now *bounces*. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with it!   
> The second part of this chapter will be up on Wednesday, mostly because I want to. There will also be an update next Friday :)

A few days later and the healer nudged them both out of her room and told them to go back to their tent to make space for other patients. Back under canvas, Isten woke up with the sun, his arm numb where it was being crushed under his body. Adder was at his back and as soon as Isten stirred, stretching out with a yawn, Adder woke behind him with a soft noise of protest before he nuzzled the back of Isten neck and made him laugh in ticklish surprise, trying to worm away, except that Adder’s arm was over him and Adder continued to playfully nudge his face into the nape of Isten’s neck. Isten didn’t know why it tickled so much but it did and he squirmed.

“Quit it!” he said, still laughing. “I need to pee!” Adder stopped but he was grinning smugly when Isten pulled himself up and Isten rolled his eyes at the Tern before he went to drag on his boots and head out into the dewy air.

When he returned, Adder grabbed and pulled him down before Isten could even get his boots off and Isten coughed as the breath was knocked out of him. Isten elbowed Adder in the ribs in annoyance and tried to free himself from Adder’s tight hold before giving up. He could feel Adder’s cock poking him in the hip and he sighed.

“Your damn cock,” he said without truly being irritated, though something small tightened nervously in his belly, and he twisted around to look at Adder’s face, which was hopeful. Isten’s lips lifted briefly in a tight smile. “Let go,” he said. Adder didn’t instantly do so but Isten waited a few moments, wondering whether Adder would, before Adder’s arms loosened their grip and Isten was able to pull away. Adder watched him looking disappointed and faintly irritated but not like he intended to force the point.

But Isten wasn’t unaffected by the fact that he hadn’t come in a long while, especially considering their disastrous last time when Adder had kept him on the edge of coming without letting him fall over it, and so Isten turned around to face Adder with his own cock already stiffening at the idea of what he was planning to do. Adder watched him with a crooked eyebrow and a smile made his lips curve upwards as Isten undid Adder’s trousers. Adder helpfully shifted his weight backwards onto his hands to allow Isten tug the trousers down, though the Tern’s face tensed in pain at the movement, at the flexion it caused in his back.

Isten ran a hand down Adder’s chest in silent sympathy before he stroked Adder’s semi-erect cock to hardness. Adder made a noise of encouragement and his head rolled to the side, his eyes falling shut. Isten’s hand continued to move but he looked at Adder’s relaxed face and smiled sadly, with not a small amount of bitterness. If Adder was like this all the time, relaxed and content for Isten to lead, then Isten thought he could almost be happy with the man. But Adder wasn’t like this nearly enough. _You didn’t choose him to be gentle with you_ , a sharp voice in his head reminded him. But so much had changed since then. Hell, _everything_ had changed.

Isten crouched down to take Adder in his mouth and Adder all but folded over on top of him in surprised pleasure and he groaned a long, low noise of arousal. His hand found the back of Isten’s head and then his hips were thrusting forwards. Isten kept his hand loosely fisted around Adder’s cock to stop the Tern jamming his cock straight into Isten’s throat but sucked on Adder’s length and moved his tongue and kept his lips light around it as Adder fucked in and out.

When Adder got tired of moving his hips, Isten took over to try to take Adder into his throat again. Adder groaned quietly when Isten got it first time, and Isten touched his own cock as he managed to allow Adder further into his mouth and into his throat and Adder cock twitched on his tongue. Isten hummed around Adder’s cock as he tried to control his breathing and Adder shuddered.

Isten was just about to draw off to catch his breath when Adder caught his hair and fucked forwards suddenly, making Isten choke sharply. Adder cried out quietly and Isten choked again before Adder was coming with sharp twitches of his hips and Isten was trying to keep his teeth away from Adder’s cock whilst his lungs were spasming desperately.

Adder finally finished and Isten tore himself away to retch hard enough to truly hurt, throwing up a small amount of gloopy, sour-tasting liquid on the side of their bed-roll. He spat, trying to get the foul taste out of his mouth, and the acid that was burning the inside of his nose. Adder hand landed heavy and warm on his back and Isten flinched instinctively before he managed to control himself and he sat up to wipe his mouth.

Adder was frowning at him and his fingers on Isten’s chest were little more than light brushes: _are you okay? Was that too much?_

Isten sighed through his raw throat and collapsed down at Adder’s side. His cock was still somewhat hard but he wasn’t entirely sure he cared enough to deal with it. Then Adder leaned over the top of him and pressed his mouth to Isten’s like he didn’t care that Isten had just swallowed his come, and then thrown up. He kissed persistently and Isten wearily returned it, his hand coming up to comb through Adder’s hair. He remembered doing that when Adder had first collapsed with his back as bloody as raw meat onto the healer’s bed. Adder’s hair had been sticky, then, and stuck to his forehead. Now it was thick and fluffy, thicker than Isten finer hair, and Isten dragged his hand through it, stroking around the shape of Adder’s skull.

Adder pulled back to press several short, close mouthed kisses to Isten’s lips and Isten snorted in amusement.

“You’re like a puppy,” he grumbled and Adder just smirked at him. The kissing had roused Isten’s cock again and Isten rolled his hips against Adder. “Return the favour?” he murmured.

He was looking at Adder as he said it so he caught the whole range of emotion that passed over Adder’s face and the first and most stark was _fear_. Adder tensed rigid, and then anger and indignation chased across his face and Isten pulled away to stare at him, “You don’t- I didn’t mean- Adder?”

Isten couldn’t read Adder’s expression but Adder was closing off to him and the Tern straightened up and away from him.

“Adder?” Isten said, half-pleading, “What’s wrong?” He touched Adder’s side with just a brush of his fingers, “Don’t go,” Had his words triggered some memory of Adder’s? Isten searched his head trying to understand, and he thought about what he’d almost asked, which was for Adder to suck him off, though he’d more been expecting, hoping, that Adder would jerk him off with his hand. And Isten remembered how Adder had initially reacted to kissing- and, god, that gag that Isten had forced on him.

“Adder, I just meant your hand,” he said softly, wondering whether he was even right, “That was all, I swear, please come back.” Because Adder had been putting distance between them even when he’d stopped physically pulling away. And Isten didn’t like Adder at all when the Tern put his defences up and became the blank-faced solider that killed things.

Adder angled his head to catch Isten’s eyes and he stared at Isten’s face guardedly. Isten saw the moment that Adder decided to return because his chest sank down as he exhaled and his shoulders slumped slightly and when Adder returned to Isten’s side there was a look on his face that was far closer to vulnerability than anything Isten had seen before.

“I’m sorry,” Isten whispered. Adder leaned forwards to put his forehead to Isten’s and the moment so intimate that Isten held him breath in fear of disturbing it. He felt oddly proud that Adder had come back to him, that the Tern bared himself like that, even just for a moment.

Adder’s hand came up to touch Isten’s side and Isten stiffened slightly but for once it was out of lingering arousal rather than fear. Then Adder’s hand was moving down past Isten’s hip to his groin and Isten went to push Adder away.

“You don’t have to,” he said softly. Adder kissed him gently and nudged Isten’s hand aside to hold Isten’s cock in his large, warm hand. Isten made a small, desperate noise in his throat just from the slight pressure and he kissed Adder again as the man began to move his hand. He didn’t tease this time, for which Isten was immensely glad, and Isten came in an embarrassingly short amount of time. Adder drew away from Isten’s face to huff a breath of amusement and to bring his come-slick fingers up towards Isten’s face. Isten leaned backwards, not particularly wanting those fingers pushed into his mouth again, which seemed silly after he’d swallowed Adder’s come. But it was far more humiliating when he could see Adder watching him do it.

But Adder didn’t, instead bringing his hand towards his own face and, after looking at it for a moment, put one finger into his mouth. Isten stared in shock as his cock gave a valiant twitch at the sight, including when Adder’s eyes flicked up to meet Isten’s, as if to check he was watching.

“Damn you,” Isten said softly and Adder smirked as he pulled his finger out of his mouth and grimaced slightly as if he didn’t like the taste and Isten sniggered before he moved forwards to press a firm kiss to Adder’s lips.

Adder wiped off the rest of the come on Isten’s trousers, for which Isten shot him a disapproving look, before Adder was getting to his feet to push his feet into boots and pick up his scabbard and belt.

Isten watched him with a slight frown, “Where are you going?” he asked quietly. Adder turned to look at him but he didn’t give any kind of answer and Isten sat up to gather together his own things. “I’ll be at the stables,” he offered and Adder gave him a nod and a slight smile.

A week or so passed like that, with Isten working himself to limp-limbed tiredness at the stables each day. He went to find Adder during one of the days, wondering what it was the Tern spent his time doing which meant that he came back as tired as Isten, and he found Adder and about thirty other Terns participating in various weapons drills, marching and exercises which seemed to serve no purpose but to exhaust the person doing them.

A sick feeling settled in Isten as he watched from a distance. If it wasn’t Adder and these men, then it would be Terns that had been trained like this who were to mount an assault on the Tay. His people. His people who fought with righteous anger and spears and whatever blunt objects they could find. Isten moved away and didn’t return to watch Adder again.

Adder would come to find him in the stables at the end of each day to take him to eat at the hall and Isten looked up to find Adder leaning against the doorframe looking at him with a smirk tilted across his face. Adder’s hair was stuck to his forehead and his shift was obviously damp with sweat but Isten was the same. The day had been uncommonly hot for spring.

“I’ll just be a moment,” Isten told Adder as he patted the horse he’d been grooming and took out a hoof pick, bending down to lift up the horse’s hoof by its fetlock and balanced it on his knee as he dug the grit and dirt out from under the horseshoe. Isten set it back down when he done, and then startled when Adder came up behind him to press himself to Isten’s back, wrapping his arms around Isten tightly.

“Adder!” Isten protested as Adder kissed his neck with small, peppered touches which tickled like hell until Isten was squirming in protest, “Stop it!” he laughed. Adder stopped eventually, laughing into Isten’s neck. Isten elbowed him in the stomach and tugged himself free. “You’re an idiot,” he said, still smiling as he went to pick up the horse’s other feet. Adder left him alone as he finished, leaning against the opposite wall to watch him.

Isten dusted off his hands when he was done and headed away to put away the pick and grooming brushes. Adder trailed after him, looping an arm over Isten’s shoulders as they made their way over to the main hall in time to fetch their food, only, for once, Adder sat down with their bowls instead of heading back to the tent.

Isten sat on the floor by Adder’s thigh. He finished before Adder since the Tern ate more carefully, tending to squash his broth into a mush before he ate it, since he didn’t like to use his finger to position his food in the company of others. The bits of tough meat that Adder couldn’t eat, he would pass down to Isten, who gave him some of his own softer bits of potato and things. Isten leaned his head against Adder’s hip as the Tern was finishing.

He knew he ought to feel more uneasy or humiliated to sit down here and have his position as Adder’s slave publicly advertised. But Isten’s sense of pride had never been particularly strong. Indeed his father had gotten frustrated with him as a child for bursting into tears where he ought to have contained his emotions better, and Isten liked being in contact with Adder. And he liked when Adder ran his fingers through his hair, rubbing his head.

There was an abrupt clanging of something being banged on one of the wooden tables and Isten startled.

“Listen up!” A man shouted. Isten turned towards the noise but couldn’t see much except legs and bodies from his low vantage point. Adder set his spoon down to listen, wrapping his hand around the back of Isten’s neck in a movement that was both possessive and comforting. There was a general quieting of the hall.

“Great news!” The same man called and various soldiers bashed their cups down on the table in approval before a hush fell again. “After our hard-fought victory over the Eastern tribes and the Hikts,” another uproar. Isten’s went rigid with fear and his heart jackrabbited in his chest. _No_ , he thought, _no, no_ \- “the savages that call themselves Tay disappeared up into the mountains,” soldiers booed and Isten wet his lips, bunching his hands into fists on his thighs. Adder’s hand squeezed his neck briefly though Isten barely felt it. “But we hunted them as the beasts they are.” A cheer. “All this you know. A messenger just arrived and has announced that we are _victorious_ against the barbarians!” The soldiers filled the hall with their approval as Isten stared at the floor, _no, no_ , “We penned them in like sheep!” The man shouted over the cheering, “Their blood soaked the soil! Our enemy is vanquished!”

“No,” Isten whispered, “No, no, _no_ ,” _Their blood soaked the soil_. Isten wrenched himself away from Adder to hit the Tern in the thigh with all of his strength. “No!” Isten said as Adder started to his feet with a shocked noise of pain and Isten stumbled to his feet and kept hitting Adder, in the ribs, in the stomach, “No!” He choked, “No!”

Adder tried to grab his wrists but Isten kicked him viciously in the shin and Adder cried out in shock, “How could you?” Isten yelled, “How could you?”

He hit Adder in the chest twice hard enough to knock the breath out of him and then Adder was grabbing at Isten’s shift and pulling him close, pinning him against Adder’s chest.

“My people,” Isten said, clutching at Adder’s shift, “My _people_.” Adder was hushing him softly, holding him upright. Isten realised that the level of noise around them had dimmed somewhat. _Dead_ , he thought, _all of them_. “Everyone, Adder,” he gasped. Adder just held him tightly, “They,” Isten shuddered hard and Adder held onto him.

Isten’s legs went out under him and Adder lowered him to floor where Isten sat shaking. _God, oh, how in hell- everyone. Everyone was gone_.

“Your whore’s one of a kind now.”

Isten didn’t initially process the words and his head came slowly to find _that_ officer looking at Adder with such smugness in his face that Isten’s anger rose up so fast and hard that he was barely aware of coming to his feet before his hand was shooting out to hit the evil man in his filthy fucking face. He wanted to dig his nails in and rip his skin off, kick him until he was a bloody, pulverised mess, but Adder, faster than he had any right to be, grabbed Isten’s wrist and halted him.

“Let- go- of- me!” Isten yelled, furious, thrashing against Adder whilst the officer looked at them with a mild expression of shock. “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Isten shouted with his eyes on that bastard that had hurt Adder, that bastard that _he was going to fucking murder_ , clawing at Adder’s arms but Adder just wouldn’t let him go.

Adder’s grip on his chest and ribs was abruptly crushing and Isten stilled in shock as he suddenly couldn’t breathe, before Adder growled in quiet warning and Isten went limp.

“Okay,” he said brokenly, “Okay.” People were watching, staring, and Isten dropped his head as he drew jerky, exhausted breaths. Gods, his _people_. Gone.

The officer came forwards a step and Isten felt Adder’s whole body tense. “You are damn lucky,” the man hissed at Adder, “that your rabid _bitch_ didn’t manage to touch me.” Isten put the entirety of his loathing into his glare and the officer grinned at him; all teeth and cruelty like a wolf. “Otherwise I would have him skinned alive, and _you_ , you filthy freak, I would beat until you begged.”

Adder’s grip on Isten tightened painfully and a purely animal growl rolled up from his chest.

“Enough!” Marlow shouted, shoving his way through onlookers to intercept. Which was good because Isten was beginning to think Adder was ready to murder the officer bastard himself and now that the rage had cleared from Isten’s head, he understood that attacking an officer would get both of them killed, even if he fucking deserved it.

“What the _hell_ is wrong with you both!” Marlow said, spitting in anger, “This- this feuding needs to stop, do you hear me?” He turned to the officer to jab an angry finger at him, “ _You_ , you should know better, goading him. Damn you! What kind of example is this for the men? Do you hear me? _Enough is enough_.” He spun around to poke his finger at Adder. “And _you_ , control your damn slave. I don’t care _what_ happens, but attacking an officer is not something either of you will be walking away from. Do you understand me?” Marlow then narrowed his eyes to glower at Isten, “And _you_ , slave! I don’t care if your damn mother is killed in front of you, you _do not_ raise your hand against one of my soldiers like that unless you have a death wish, _am I clear_? Shut your mouth and control your temper or I will separate your barbarian head from your shoulders myself.” Isten glared at him and said nothing but Marlow didn’t seem to care for an answer.

“Both of you,” he snapped, apparently discounting Isten, “Get out and do not fucking come back in here until you can act like intelligent creatures. And if you can’t, _stay away from each other_. I will not have any more blood on these grounds. Am I understood?” He glared at Adder until he nodded, and the officer eventually inclined his head in apparent agreement. “This was meant to be a celebration.” Marlow said irritably, expelling a furious breath before he strode away.

Adder took Isten by the back of his shift, half-strangling him, and, once it was clear they were dismissed, he dragged Isten out of the hall like miscreant child.

“Get _off_ me!” Isten snapped, once they were out of the hall and were passing through the big doors into the outer court. Adder shoved him forwards with a hand on his back hard enough that Isten staggered and almost fell. The low sun glared down and Isten shaded his eyes as Adder grabbed his wrist and continued to drag him out of the castle grounds and towards the campsite. Isten stumbled along after him and allowed his anger to simmer because it was so much easier than the rolling, overwhelming flood of grief that was thrashing inside of him.

They passed over the bridge onto the sparse grass outside the castle and then eventually back to their tent, whereupon Adder shoved Isten down onto the bedroll and threw down his scabbard with a wordless exclamation of anger.

Isten landed heavily on his elbow and he sat up to jab a furious finger at Adder, “Fuck you!” he all but shouted because he was so damn angry, angry at Adder for being a filthy Tern like those animals, angry at his people for not being smarter, better, for not being _alive_ , angry at the world for being so fucking awful. “Do it then!” Isten yelled, “Fucking do it, you fucking coward!” Adder lurched towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating Wednesday! Let me know what you thought :)


	12. News Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten pushes Adder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to the end now folks! Hope you're all still enjoying it, let me know what you think in the comments :)) This is a fairly short one, but I hope its still fairly intense! Next update will be Friday as usual :)  
> Thanks for reading <3

Isten flinched as Adder grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him viciously. When he stopped, Isten glared at it whilst Adder looked back at him with a desperately, furiously hurt expression. Isten jabbed the Tern in the ribs, hard, and Adder hissed, his eyes flashing angrily before it drained away. Isten stared at him.

“What are you _doing_?” Isten demanded, “I just humiliated you, I almost got us fucking killed, _do something_.” Adder’s hands tightened on Isten’s shoulders but he didn’t do anything, anything at all, and Isten, desperate, backhanded him across the face. Adder recoiled an inch and enough fury flared on his features that Isten tensed in expectation of Adder finally reacting, but then it just passed and Adder looked at Isten with a stupid expression of solemnity.

Isten growled in anger and hit Adder wherever he could reach until he just stopped, utterly wretched. There were- there were so many _things_ inside him. Pictures- their blood soaking the soil- and the memory of that Hikt he’d seen dead and gutted with his glistening viscera sprawled over the ground- all the people he’d ever known. Isten swallowed down nausea and then Adder was gathering him up, holding him, and Isten was limp in that grip. He just- couldn’t. He was vaguely aware that he was shaking but he couldn’t stop it. He wanted to cry but he felt burnt out and cold.

After a minute or more, Isten didn’t know, Adder shifted him to the bedroll and Isten numbly allowed himself to be moved. He didn’t want to do anything. What was the point? He was- alone. _A one of a kind whore_.

Isten choked on a laugh and Adder shot him a disturbed look. Noises bubbled out of Isten and he shook.

“I should’ve died with them,” Isten breathed, looking down at his bloodless hands. He was untouched, whole and it felt so wrong. “I should- I’m- my father would _hate_ me. My mother _died_ for me and what am I? A Tern’s _whore_. I should- if I had any honour-” _I would kill myself_.

Adder made a soft noise and reached up to hold Isten’s head in his big hands. Isten wished for a moment that Adder would just twist Isten’s head to the side, and _crack_ , Isten wouldn’t have to think anymore.

But then Adder was pressing their foreheads together and Isten started crying in hiccupping sobs as he clawed at Adder’s shift.

“They’re all _dead_ ,” he sobbed. Adder tucked Isten close, pressing his head under his chin and stroked his back. He hummed quietly in his throat and Isten cried until his throat and his chest ached with it and he was so tired he felt dead.

Adder pulled back to kiss Isten very lightly on the lips and Isten grasped Adder’s head and kissed him back hard, pressing his lips to Adder’s with desperate force, clawing at the back of Adder’s head. Adder kissed him back, touching Isten wherever he could and Isten cried. He needed to feel something- _someone_ alive against him and he crawled into Adder’s lap. _Whore_ , his head hissed, _They’re all dead. You’re alone. You’re worthless._ And then, _Adder’s going to die too_. Isten shoved himself against Adder and kissed harder. He didn’t want to _think_ and Adder was being too damn gentle.

Isten pulled back, “Hurt me,” he demanded. Adder’s face was filled with worry and Isten couldn’t bear it. He dug his fingernails into Adder’s skull and Adder grimaced but the concern didn’t leave, and when had Adder started to care? When had Isten corrupted that vicious wildness in the Tern so that he could look like _that_?

Isten hit Adder in the chest, “Have you forgotten that gag I put on you?” he said icily and Adder’s eyes narrowed, “Have you forgotten that it was the allies of _my_ people-” Isten choked and then managed to drag his mind back. _Don’t think- mustn’t think_ , “that kept you prisoner and made you fight and damaged you,” Isten jabbed Adder’s ribs, exactly where’d they’d been injured and Adder growled quietly. A warning. Isten ignored it, feeling a terrible thrill from not caring, “It was your enemy that took your tongue, who raped you and _I’m_ the enemy, Adder, so _what the fuck are you doing looking at me like that_?”

Adder’s jaw twitched in anger and Isten glared at him, only for Adder to push his head forwards and kiss him again. Isten twisted his head away furiously because it wasn’t what he wanted goddammit.

“Adder!” he shouted in frustration. But Adder twisted tight fingers in Isten’s hair and held him still and kept kissing him. Isten bit Adder’s lip hard and Adder bit him back, hard enough that Isten instinctively pulled away. Adder was scowling him with his lip red and sore and Isten glowered back at him.

Then Adder was grabbing the hem of Isten’s shift and dragging it roughly off him and Isten felt nothing but relief because the thoughts in his head were overwhelming and anything, _anything_ , would be better than having them flooding his brain.

Adder shoved him backwards so that he collapsed backwards onto the bedroll and Isten reached up, fumbling, to yank Adder’s shift off over his head even as Adder was wrenching Isten’s trousers off him. Adder lifted his arms to let Isten strip the shift off him and then he went straight back to undoing Isten’s trousers before dragging Isten’s boot off with enough force that Isten made a noise of pain at the tug on his ankle. Adder slowed – which Isten didn’t want, goddammit – and got the other boot off before dropping down on top of Isten to kiss him hard. Isten bore it for a few seconds but it wasn’t enough and the _thoughts_ were right there, overwhelming- and he twisted his head away to hit Adder on the shoulder again. Adder drew back with a snarl on his features, before it settled and they stared at each other. Adder’s face was lethally focused but it wasn’t blank in the way Isten hated and Isten wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not.

Adder, crouched over Isten with his knees either side of Isten’s thighs, shifted himself down Isten’s body and bit him, repeatedly and viciously. Gods, yes, that felt _right_. This was what he had wanted. Isten shoved his fist in his mouth to muffle his cries but the pain in his mind was finally receding, and in its place was the real, natural, throbbing pain of sparking nerves in his skin and Isten felt tears start running down his cheeks again in sheer relief even as he flinched and cried out and his body tried to move away from the pain.

Then Adder was back to kissing him and Isten let himself fall into it, clinging to Adder as the Tern’s hand cupped Isten’s cock and started to move. _They’re dead, they’re dead_ , Isten scrunched his eyes closed and silently shouted _shut up!_ but his head wasn’t obeying and Adder digging his fingernails into Isten’s cock was a blessed, horrific relief. Isten yowled and bucked upwards in pain but Adder pinned him down with that indominable strength and Isten held onto him, raking marks into his skin.

“Don’t go,” he begged pathetically, “don’t go,”

Adder kissed Isten’s jaw even as he clenched his hand around Isten’s balls and Isten sobbed, writhing, “Fuck,” he said. Pain was everywhere, he couldn’t think of anything but pain and Adder’s hands and his solidity because Adder was alive and Isten was alive and they were both there. Adder was…perfect, doing exactly what he needed. _Fuck_.

Adder jacked Isten off with quick, rough strokes at the same time as bit down on Isten’s nipple with one of his molars. Isten cried in pain but he held onto Adder tightly.

The pain wasn’t enough to keep him from getting hard and Isten was soon rolling upwards into Adder’s rough hand, chasing his climax. Adder hushed him and Isten realised he’d been making small, whimpering noises. Adder’s hand moved up to Isten’s head, using a brutal hand in his hair to drag it backwards, baring Isten’s throat. Isten wrapped his legs up around Adder’s hips as Adder kept touching him. He could feel Adder’s erection, the wetness at the tip of his cock clinging to Isten’s skin, where it was pressing against Isten’s ass and Isten rolled against him.

“Do it,” Isten said, “fuck me.”

Adder growled quietly and his hand tightened in Isten’s hair. The hand on Isten’s cock shifted away briefly and Isten braced for fingers in his ass but Adder just pressed their cocks together. Isten made a noise of protest because that wasn’t _enough_ , but Adder dug his nails into Isten’s cock and Isten forgot what he’d been thinking in place of trying to breathe through that pain.

Adder jerked them both off hard and the Tern’s breath gusted over Isten’s chest as his hand tightened and loosened in Isten’s hair. Heat and pressure knitted together into a solid ball of need in Isten’s stomach and he whimpered as Adder kept roughly stroking him as he was coming, hard and painful, onto his stomach. Adder came immediately afterwards, his come spilling over Isten’s chest alongside Isten’s own and Isten sagged backwards, exhausted. Relieved.

Adder was hushing him and Isten flinched wearily at the feel of cloth wiping him off but then it was just Adder’s chapped lips pressed chastely to his and Isten tilted his head upwards with his eyes closed. Moving Isten to where he wanted him, Adder pulled him close enough that he was all but underneath the Tern and Isten shivered at the cool air drying the sweat on his skin where he was exposed. Adder kissed him again and then there was furs over the top of them and Isten curled up into Adder’s hold. Adder’s response was only to tighten his grip and Isten shuddered pleasantly. Adder wasn’t going anywhere.


	13. Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten grieves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter whoop

Isten woke up to light kisses on his bare shoulder and Adder’s arms around him.

“Hey.” He said quietly and shifted so that he was lying on his back and Adder was lying next to him. Isten groaned quietly as he moved. Hell, he _ached_. Adder was looking at him with a soft frown and Isten reached up to take hold of his jaw to kiss him only to freeze.

Oh.

Isten’s hand fell away limply and he stared blankly at Adder’s chest. Adder was touching him, trying to make him meet his eyes but Isten couldn’t do it and he looked numbly at the floor.

Adder was blatantly concerned and he tried repeatedly to coax Isten back but Isten just nudged his hands away and ignored him. There were images of violent ends in Isten’s head with blood and screaming, but there was also just this heavy absence of them. What did ruined bodies matter when the people that belonged in them weren’t there any longer?

Isten was silently amenable as Adder gave up trying to get Isten to respond and instead helped him into his clothes like a child and guided him to his feet. Adder led him out of the tent by the wrist and across the campsite towards the hall to fetch them something to eat, though Isten had never felt less hungry. Inside the hall people eyed Adder with interest and Adder ignored them as he picked up two bowls of something steaming and Isten shadowed him silently as he left with long, striding steps.

Adder found a quiet corner of the outer court, somewhere out of the sun, and he nudged Isten to sit down. Isten obeyed, accepting the bowl when Adder offered it to him. He heard Adder start eating but he just stared at the food and felt sick.

Adder moved to sit in front of him and he took hold of Isten’s jaw to make him lift his head. Adder’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern or pity and he took Isten’s bowl off his lap and tried to feed him a spoonful. Isten didn’t open his mouth and Adder set it down again.

A sharp nip of pain in Isten’s wrist made him twitch as he looked down apathetically to see Adder’s big fingers pinching the skin. Adder was still looking at him but Isten didn’t meet his eyes and Adder pinched him again and then again, digging his nails in. Annoyance penetrated Isten’s indifference and he sulkily tried to pull his hand away. _Go away_ , he thought _, leave me alone_. But the slight sparks of pain kept penetrating the numbness and Isten finally got angry enough to take Adder’s fingers and bend them backwards until Adder pulled his hand away.

Adder didn’t move for a few minutes and Isten just sat there and breathed, thinking and not thinking at the same time. Then Adder hands were back on his arm and Isten lashed out in fury, smacking Adder’s hand away and then hitting him in the chest hard enough that Adder coughed.

“Enough!” Isten snapped and got to his feet, “Just _leave me alone_.” Adder followed him to his feet and Isten knew he was following when Isten walked away, finding himself heading for the stables.

Anger sparked in him for a few hundred meters at Adder’s persistent demands, that the Tern wouldn’t give him even a day to mourn for the death of the entirety of his people. But the anger dripped away and by the time he was in the stables, he just felt numb and tired again.

He sat down on one of the benches in the stables and put his elbows on his knees. He felt Adder sit next to him by the movement of the wooden bench under him but he didn’t do anything and, to his relief, Adder didn’t try to touch him.

They sat there for Isten wasn’t sure how long. Stable-hands moved around them, talking and laughing and working, shooting the pair of them sideways glances. At some point, Isten’s back was aching too much from sitting down. He curled his hand around Adder’s fingers and stood up with a cracking of his joints. Adder stirred groggily and Isten realised the Tern had been dozing, before Adder squeezed Isten’s fingers and followed him.

Isten dropped Adder’s fingers after a few minutes and Adder didn’t protest. They walked out of the castle and Isten headed for the stream, squinting in the brilliant sunlight. When Isten sat down beside the trickling water, Adder stripped off his shirt and rolled up his trousers before going to bathe. Isten watched him, and then watched the moving water when Adder was done and came to lie on the bank alongside him to dry. Adder rolled onto his side to kiss Isten on the shoulder but he otherwise kept his distance and they sat in silence as Isten followed the patterns of the stream water as it wove through the rocks.

Most of the soldiers used the well water up at the castle to wash but some passed through the stream to wash and Isten listened to their conversations without having any particular thoughts about them. Adder fell back asleep on the grass and Isten looked down at his relaxed face and wished for things that could never be.

The sun started to fade into the evening and by the time Isten was shivering, Adder had woken and he pulled Isten up and led him back to the hall. And Isten was hungry, his stomach growling, but he wished it wouldn’t. It seemed disrespectful. Still, he picked at the bowl Adder gave him and Adder sent him a relieved smile.

That night they lay silently on the bedroll. Adder had put an arm around Isten but otherwise abstained from touching him.

“They weren’t my family.” Isten said after half an hour or so. He wasn’t sure Adder was awake and he didn’t know whether he cared if the Tern heard or not. “My parents were already dead. I was their only child.”

Adder’s arm tightened around him but he didn’t otherwise respond and Isten fell silent, staring at the dark wall of the tent.

Isten barely slept and, judging by Adder’s obvious worry, it must have shown on his face because Adder took Isten’s jaw in his hands and smoothed his thumbs under Isten’s eyes like he could dislodge the signs of tiredness through force of will and a gentle touch alone.

“Go, Adder,” Isten said, after Adder had dragged him to the hall to eat and Isten had grudgingly swallowed half a bowl before he felt too sick to eat anymore. “I’ll be fine for a day.” Adder was frowning at him in disbelief and Isten gave him a flat look. “ _Go_ ,” he said.

He didn’t miss how Adder took his scabbard and knife belt with him, along with another knife, but Adder left and Isten sat silently in the tent until it was too swelteringly warm to do it any longer and then he went to the stables. He’d meant to just sit in a quiet corner somewhere out of the sun but it was oppressively hot and there were horses without water and Isten sighed and set to doing something.

Adder found him there early evening and the Tern instantly wrenched Isten into a suffocating hug. Isten coughed in shock as the air was knocked out of him and it took him several seconds before he returned it. When Adder pulled away he stared at Isten like he wasn’t sure he was real and Isten frowned back at him.

“What is it?” he asked, “What’s wrong?” Adder’s eyebrows buckled together and a muscle twitched in his jaw but Isten couldn’t read the answer on Adder’s face, and Adder couldn’t verbalise it. Isten sighed quietly and squeezed Adder’s shoulder. He’d been ignoring being hungry all day and now didn’t really feel like eating but, after he’d put away the broom he’d been using, he let Adder take him to get food.

Back in the tent, after Isten had eaten a few mouthfuls to satisfy Adder, Adder had started reading one of the books Marlow had given him whilst he was recovering and Isten watched him for a while before he dozed off, the work having tired him out physically, even if his brain was still a mess that Isten was trying to ignore.

When Isten surfaced into consciousness again, it was fully dark and Adder was asleep beside him, a light fur lain over both of them. Something small and warm stirred in Isten’s chest at the thought of Adder doing that while he was asleep and Isten rolled over to look at him, though it was difficult to make out much of anything in the dark, even with the flickering yellow camp fires not too far away.

Isten inched closer to Adder and he felt Adder stir with a soft noise. Adder was lying on his side and Isten nudged his head close to Adder’s chest, curling his arms up between them like a mouse. Adder made a snuffling sound and put an arm around Isten to hold him close and Isten smiled sadly as he fell still.


	14. Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten and Adder find comfort in one another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...last official chapter! I am ~80% sure there's going to be an epilogue which will, fingers crossed, be up in a week as usual. I really hope you enjoy this one and please let me know your thoughts!! i'm dying to hear them and I love everyone who's stuck with it this far :) thank you <3

Isten clutched his stomach as he threw up. There was a stirring in the tent behind him and then Adder was beside him, touching his back as Isten retched painfully. He stayed kneeling when he was done, exhausted, and Adder crouched beside him to clean his mouth before he moved to circle Isten with his arms and Isten leaned back against him, shivering as the sweat evaporated off his skin.  

It was barely dawn and Isten hadn’t slept much. Images of all the ways his people’s bodies might be lying, decomposing in the open air, had been tumbling around his brain. At first, he’d been apathetic and the thoughts hadn’t really touched him but the longer they lingered, sticking to the inside of his head like tar, the sicker he’d felt, until he was out here throwing up a foul, lumpy brown mess.

Adder rubbed the back of his head and Isten huffed a sigh as he coughed once, then twice, trying to clear the awful, acidic taste from his mouth. He felt dirty, clammy with sweat, and he eased away from Adder’s hold with the knowledge he smelled. The ground beneath him was spongy with mud and the wet soaked through his trousers.

“I,” he started, cringed at how awful his voice sounded and cleared his throat. Swallowed. “I want to go to the stream,” he mumbled and Adder pulled him to his feet. Isten stood outside the tent, staring blankly at his own vomit, until Adder reappeared with soap and Isten looked quickly away.

The stream was icy cold and Isten shuddered as he stepped into it. The much-needed rains they’d had yesterday had deepened the water, even as the rain had turned the dusty ground around the castle to sheets of mud, and the stream itself was cloudy with floating debris. But it was cleaner than Isten and, shivering, Isten waded into the strong flow and washed himself thoroughly.

Adder joined him and, sitting on the edge of the stream bed, he pulled Isten to sit between his legs to soap his hair. Isten let him, enjoying the feel of Adder’s firm fingers against his scalp and the press of the Tern’s thighs either side of his hips.  

“Remember when you almost drowned me?” Isten said neutrally. Adder’s fingers stilled and Isten felt a huff of warm breath pass over his bare shoulder. Isten twisted around to look at him and found Adder looking at him with a frown. Isten’s lips twitched in faint amusement and he leaned back to kiss Adder’s shoulder before turning back around. “I didn’t mind that much,” Isten said and, after a moment, Adder returned to combing soap through his hair.

Afterwards, they perched, shivering, on the bank, which was wet with the rain and dew but hadn’t turned to mud like some of the other parts of the castle grounds. Isten had his trousers on, the fabric sticking to his skin, but nothing else. Adder was lying on his belly, unashamedly nude.

“My mother died giving birth to me,” Isten said. Adder looked over at him, giving Isten his attention but not reacting to the words. Isten looked down at the ground between his legs and wondered whether his mother would hate him for using his life – which was _their_ life, almost – like this. He hadn’t known her except through his mother’s mother; his grandmother. “My father died in a war against the Hikts,” he said quietly, “before you came along and gave us a common enemy.” He picked at the stitching on his trousers, which were fast falling apart from overuse. He wondered if Adder had a mending kit somewhere. “He believed in honour above all, that’s most of what I remember of him.”

When he was ten, his father had warned him not to sleep with a girl so as to protect both their honour. And when it was clear that Isten didn’t care to bed any girl, he was told that he had to be discreet in bedding men, and take a wife when he was older, to protect his honour, and his father’s. If Isten showed too much emotion, be it anger or hurt or excitement, in a public place, he was taken behind a wall and scolded. And when his uncle raped a woman and was exiled, Isten’s father said it was to protect his people’s honour.

Isten frowned at his trousers and kept picking at them until Adder put his hand over Isten’s to stop him. Isten sighed and didn’t say anything the rest of the day.

 

“What’s your real name?” Isten asked Adder the next morning, whilst Adder was trying to get him to eat. Isten was picking at it, finding the vegetables. The potatoes were too soft, their texture made him gag, and the meat took too much chewing.

Adder stilled for a second and his eyes drifted away before they returned to Isten’s face and he shrugged.

“Do you mind me calling you Adder?” It had been a name given to him by Hikts, Adder’s torturers, after all. Adder shook his head, _no_ , and Isten shrugged. If ‘Adder’ was the name that Adder wanted to be called, then Isten would continue to do so.

“Do you have family?” Isten said, feeling an odd urge to _know_ Adder. The Tern was so closed off.

A complicated mix of emotions passed over Adder’s face before he shrugged, and then nodded. Isten lifted his eyebrows, “You have family alive somewhere?” Adder swallowed a mouthful of food and shrugged. “You don’t know?” Isten pressed and Adder shook his head. “Oh,” Isten said and considered that, “maybe its easier not to know,” he said. His broth was lukewarm and the oily film on the top was disgusting and he put it down.

Adder took to watching him intently to make sure he was eating and Isten’s appetite came in fits and starts as he spent long days at the stables, working and not speaking to anyone except Adder, until he was almost dizzy with hunger by the time Adder picked him up.

The numbness drifted away slowly, but there were still days where Isten didn’t have the will to do anything but sit and stare and Adder would allow it for a day – though he always took sharp things with him when he left Isten alone – before he would drag Isten on a walk, or to the stables, or just to sit on the wall and watch the sky instead of staring at the tent wall. Time passed and the sparks of panic became less acute and the numbness less total. He started feeling like he would survive it.

 

“You have been looking at that for an age,” Isten grumbled after Adder had been reading for most of the evening. The sun didn’t set until late and Isten had headed off to walk around the castle when he found Adder reading but he’d returned an hour later to find Adder still lying there on his stomach with his eyes tracing the squiggles on the page. Isten couldn’t fathom what was so _interesting_ about them.

He sat down beside Adder and waited to see if he would put the book down but when he didn’t, Isten crawled to lie down on top of him, though he was wary of some of the deeper cuts on Adder’s back, which he knew still pained the man.

Adder released a surprised cough at the sudden weight on his back and he grudgingly put the stupid book down, though taking care to slide a bit of cloth inside to mark his place, before he twisted his head to look back at Isten with an unimpressed look.

Isten grinned at him toothily and rolled his hips up into Adder’s ass and watched with amusement as Adder’s eyes widened and then his expression turned hungry and he rolled sideways to throw Isten off him. Isten landed on his back with the breath knocked out of him and he looked up at Adder with a ‘what are you going to do now?’ expression, only for Adder to crush their lips together hungrily. Isten kissed back more leisurely as his cock stirred eagerly. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to do any of this and Adder’s touches were quickly getting him aroused.

Adder’s arms snaked around Isten’s back and he pulled Isten onto the bedroll whilst keeping their lips pressed together. Adder pulled away to drag Isten’s shift off him with single-minded determination and Isten helped Adder out of his with the same urgency. _Whore_ , his mind said and Isten stilled, only for Adder to pinch his leg sharply and pull him back again. Isten looked up at him and saw the worry on Adder’s face amidst the lust and he reached up to touch Adder’s rough jaw.

“I’m sorry, I-” _I’ve been so useless_ , he started to say but Adder cut him off by shoving him backwards abruptly and Isten laughed in shock, lifting his hips to allow Adder to drag his trousers off him. Adder stripped off the rest of his own clothes with the same efficiency before pouncing back on Isten to kiss him, a hand on Isten’s neck holding him down in a way that was grounding and possessive and _hot_. Isten groaned and bucked his hips upwards where his cock was throbbing and Adder pulled away to settle back on his heels over Isten’s thighs to stroke them both. Isten couldn’t lift his hips with Adder’s weight on his legs and he put an arm over his eyes and focused on Adder’s touch, on the sound of Adder’s breathing.

“Wait, wait,” Isten said, taking his hand away as he was getting close to coming and Adder’s hand stopped, his expression querying as he looked at Isten. Isten looked at that sharp, strong face and warm eyes and thought how far they’d come. How Adder had seen Isten at his worst and stayed. Isten licked his lips and propped himself up on his elbows. “I want you to fuck me,” he said. Adder visibly tensed and the look he shot Isten was not lustful but wary. Isten frowned at him and came fully up to seated. “Don’t you want-” _me_ , “that anymore?” he asked softly, confused. “I said you could- before,” when he’d been a sobbing, ugly mess. He cringed, “I know why you didn’t want to then. But why not now?” He felt faintly hurt, somehow. Did Adder think him too broken to find desirous? Isten knew he’d lost some weight but he didn’t think it showed that much, except perhaps Adder didn’t like it.

Adder cocked his head silently and seemed to be thinking, studying Isten intently. Isten looked back at him, unsure. Adder stroked Isten’s thigh and Isten looked down at his large, strong hand. Those fingers that could be gentle or ruthless.

“I trust you,” Isten said, “fuck me, Adder,” he came forwards to kiss Adder gently, “Please,” Adder’s breath hitched audibly and those rough hands came behind Isten to trail over Isten’s skin. Adder bit Isten’s shoulder gently and when he pulled back his expression seemed to ask, _Are you sure?_ And Isten smiled at him. “I’m sure,” he said.

Adder’s face shifted into a sharp sort of lust as he licked his lips and the expression took Isten’s breath away and he grinned as a thrill went through him, unable to stop himself. He loved the possessively protective side of Adder, but he’d missed this predatory side now that he felt safe enough to enjoy it.

Isten dug his fingernails into Adder’s chest and Adder’s eyes hardened and he picked Isten up with ease and dropped him down on his back on the bedroll. Adder moved away briefly and Isten followed his movements as he stroked himself slowly.

When Adder came back over to him he was holding some sort of container. He caught Isten’s wrists in one hand and lifted them above Isten’s head, leaning down to bite Isten’s hip before he was nudging Isten’s legs apart and, scooping something white out of the wooden container, he wrapped a hand around Isten’s cock to draw him back to full hardness. Isten groaned.

“Fuck,” he muttered and pushed his hips up into Adder’s slick fingers. Whatever had been the tub, a grease of some kind, felt damn good on his cock. Then Adder traced one greased finger down past Isten’s balls and towards his asshole.

Isten’s breathed hitched nervously and for a moment he was terrified there would be- _burning, pain, Adder not stopping_ \- but there was only a gentle, slippy pressure and a single finger and Isten breathed through his panic. Adder bit his thigh gently and Isten made a noise of encouragement. Adder pushed another finger in and Isten was torn between _god, don’t stop_ and _stop, stop, too much_ , but he only managed a whimper before Adder was touching that place inside him that made him buckle upwards and his cock twitch needily.

“There, there,” he panted.

 _Your people are all dead_ , his head reminded him sharply and Isten scowled at himself. _I just want these few minutes_ , he snapped inwardly, _leave me alone._

Adder pushed a third finger in, then, and pressed his thumb nail into the weeping slit of Isten’s cock, and Isten writhed under it all, his mind dragged back to his skin and his cock and Adder’s fingers.

“ _Adder_ ,” he groaned as Adder started shifting his fingers inside Isten and it felt too large but also _good_ and Isten pulled in several uneven breaths. Adder hushed him quietly and when Isten looked up at his face he found Adder staring down between Isten’s legs, where Isten could feel Adder pushing his fingers in and out carefully, with such a look of concentration and raw want that Isten flushed right down to his neck and chest. “Don’t _look_ ,” he said, breathless and faintly outraged. Adder glanced up at him but all he did was grin toothily and Isten rolled his eyes and sagged backwards.

Adder slid his fingers out after a minute, or a few, Isten wasn’t sure, and Isten tensed slightly, not daring to look in expectation of Adder’s cock, but it was only Adder’s fingers pressing back in with more grease.

“I’m fine,” Isten said impatiently. “Come _on_ ,” Adder snorted but obliged and Isten propped himself up as Adder shifted forwards, stroking his own cock which was gratifyingly hard and glistening attractively with grease, even as the size of it made Isten’s stomach tighten slightly. _I want to do this_ , he told himself firmly. He’d done it before, and he knew it was _good_. He just had to convince his trembling heart of that fact as it beat nervously in his chest. The fingers of Adder’s left hand closed around the outside of Isten’s thigh while the other guided the Tern’s cock towards Isten’s hole.

“Adder,” Isten breathed, unable to stop himself. He remembered saying, _I’m afraid_ , and thought for a minute that maybe he was afraid now, but Adder lifting his head to look at Isten was enough and Isten summoned a smile for him. Adder maintained eye contact as he very carefully pushed forwards, his fingers gripping Isten’s thighs. Isten groaned quietly and dropped his head back as the head of Adder’s cock pushed past his outer muscle and then up and inside.

Adder had paused to touch Isten’s stomach, watching Isten’s face and Isten grinned, slightly strained but genuine.

“Come on,” he taunted, “I know you’re not that small.” Adder’s mouth lifted up at the side and then he kept pushing forwards and they both groaned at the feeling. Isten made a wordless noise of need and clutched at Adder’s shoulders as Adder kept pushing slowly inside.

“Fuck,” Isten hissed. Adder stroked Isten’s cock and Isten whined. Adder shifted inside Isten and rubbed up against the whatever-it-was that felt _so good_ and when Adder squeezed Isten’s cock, Isten came abruptly all over his belly, the waves of it full of sharp, sparking pleasure and Isten went limp. Adder had stilled and Isten looked at him apologetically.

“Sorry,” he said, feeling too warm and heavy to really be very sorry at all, and Adder took his hand away from Isten’s cock to look at Isten’s come on his fingers. With his eyes on Isten, Adder brought a finger to his lips and sucked it clean whilst Isten watched, in awe of the beautiful animality of him.

Adder pressed his cock a little deeper with a push of his hips and Isten arched his back and spread his legs a little more to let Adder push the rest of his cock into him. Once Adder was there, Isten was breathing in short gasps. His orgasm had left him relaxed but sensitive and Adder obviously knew it because he ran a nail up Isten’s half-hard cock with a wicked smile and Isten squirmed. Adder wiped his fingers through the come striped on Isten’s stomach and then he was leaning forwards, his cock shifting inside Isten, to push those fingers into Isten’s mouth.

Isten gagged and bit down on Adder’s knuckles but Adder just pushed at the back of Isten’s tongue until Isten gagged again, his eyes leaking, and Adder’s eyes went dark with lust. Adder withdrew his saliva-wet fingers and wiped them carelessly on Isten cheek before he shifted back to grip Isten’s thighs just above the knee and pulled out an inch to fuck in again.

Isten was quickly on the way to getting hard again but he was still at the point of the pleasure being too sharp and just on the edge of too much but although Adder’s gaze stayed glued to Isten’s face, Adder wasn’t waiting for him and he fucked forwards, chasing his own pleasure. Isten, panting, watched him, admiring the slight twitching shifts in Adder’s face as he moved, rocking into Isten with long, smooth movements.

Isten was hard again by the time Adder was thrusting with more desperation, fucking in jerkily and knocking the breath out of him. Isten moaned when Adder hit that place that felt so good and he clenched around Adder. Adder groaned quietly before he bullied his way back inside Isten with a forceful push of his hips.

Adder kept fucking him hard enough that Isten was being pushed backwards with the force of it and he lifted his legs up, changing the angle of Adder’s thrusts, and hooked his thighs around Adder’s narrow hips, crossing his ankles at Adder’s tailbone and pulling Adder closer.

“Fuck,” he said breathlessly. Adder dug cruel fingers into Isten’s hips before he grunted and came with a shudder and Isten, achingly hard, watched Adder as his whole face relaxed and his lips parted. He fucked into Isten as he was coming and the movement made a filthy, wet noise. Isten could feel Adder’s come inside him, feel its warmth, and he shifted his hips around Adder’s softening cock. Adder moaned softly and his fingers unclenched from Isten’s hips to stroke Isten’s thighs before his hand moved down to Isten’s cock and just a few firm strokes were enough for Isten to come again with a soft cry, less than before but still enough to paint his stomach and Adder smiled as he coaxed the last of Isten’s come from his tired cock.

Adder’s soft cock slid out of Isten when Adder eased away and Isten, despite everything, flushed with heat when Adder looked down and _watched_ it happen. Isten could feel his asshole twitching as it struggled to tighten and he could feel come leaking out and he put his foot against Adder’s chest to push him away.

“ _Don’t_ look!” he said, but he was smiling, because Adder didn’t look disgusted, but fascinated and slightly proud. “Get a cloth, you oaf,” Isten said and Adder huffed, lifting his eyebrows at Isten before he obediently went away and fetched something to clean them both up and stop Isten from dripping onto the bedroll.

When Adder was done, he flopped down on his back beside Isten and Isten sleepily clambered on top of him. Adder wheezed in surprise and Isten stilled.

“Am I hurting you?” he said, beginning to ease off, before Adder grabbed hold of him and stopped him, shaking his head. Isten settled back on top of Adder’s broad chest, laying his legs between Adder’s, and kissed him gently before he put his head against Adder’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

When he started shivering but was too tired to do anything about it, it was Adder who shifted underneath him and snagged a fur to pull over the both of them. Then Adder’s arms were back around Isten and Isten sighed quietly. His thoughts were moving sluggishly but there was a contentment inside him that made him want to smile for no reason at all and he hadn’t felt like that in a long time.

“If love,” Isten said softly into Adder’s chest, “Is not being able to live without someone.” He kissed Adder’s furry pectoral, and then his protruding collarbone. “Then I love you, Adder.”

Adder stilled beneath him and Isten lifted his head to look at Adder, trying to read his expression. Adder’s brow was slightly furrowed but mostly his face was full of surprise.

“I don’t expect you to feel the same,” Isten said quietly, “I just wanted to say it.” Adder took an arm from around Isten’s back and for a moment Isten was afraid Adder was going to push him away, but Adder put his fingers to Isten’s face and smoothed his slightly damp hair away from his face. Adder was smiling and there was something incredibly soft in his eyes and Isten stared at him, not quite daring to voice what he was thinking.

“Do you?” he whispered, “Do you- feel the same?” Adder traced Isten’s lips with that smile flickering on his mouth, twitching upwards, and then Adder nodded. Isten’s smile grew until he was grinning and Adder returned it and when Isten dived forwards to press their mouths together, he could feel Adder’s smile under his lips.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isten makes a choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP here we are. It's been a great ride guys and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have <3 And now I have to go and finish something else *buries head in the sand*
> 
> Please do leave me a comment letting me know what you thought of the whole fic/the ending/the epilogue/the characters or anything else!! I love reading them :))

Isten looked up at the grey underside of the tent, barely visible in the darkness, although there were the slight, orange flickers of campfires not so far away. It was unusually quiet and Isten felt like he was the only one awake. He imagined all of the Terns surrounding him, dotted like ants and not so much different; ruthless, numerous, single-minded. And then there was Isten, lying amongst them, one of them but not. And with a Tern wrapped around him, sheltering him, even though Adder was damaged himself and had every right to want to hurt Isten as he’d been hurt.

Adder exhaled heavily into Isten’s neck and Isten turned his head towards him to find Adder’s eyes open, his expression exasperated. He raised his eyebrows at Isten and lifted his hand from under the furs, pressing his palm over Isten’s tired eyes.

Isten snorted in faint amusement. “Alright,” he said, “I’ll sleep.”

Adder took his hand away and Isten rolled onto his side. Adder pulled him close. Isten tried to close his eyes and settle, but whilst he felt Adder’s grip on him loosen as the Tern slid back into sleep, Isten couldn’t capture that elusive weariness. Despite the work he’d done at the stables, his head was again heavy with thoughts of his people, clustered together and felled like trees in some desolate hills and Isten here, miles from them and adrift in the enemy’s camp. Adder anchored him, certainly, but Isten still felt so very far from home.

After a long while, and with his head still spinning, Isten gingerly eased himself from Adder’s warm hold and, picking up a spare fur, he crept out of the tent to crouch down on the cold, damp ground outside. He stayed low, close to the tent and out of sight of any passing soldiers, but the night was cool and still and Isten shivered and curled the fur tighter around him, looking out at the tents and the cloudy sky.

After a time, some of the clouds parted to show stars and Isten looked up at them, wondering at the inexplicable lights. Were they moons, far away? Or were they minute suns, just a dot in the blackness? Or perhaps they were the bright fires of a people that lived in the sky. Perhaps they sat around their fires and looked down at the glow of the Terns’ camp’s fires and wondered at the lights below them. Perhaps they had lost people too, and they grieved just as Isten did. Isten wiped away a tear that had seeped down the side of his nose and swallowed thickly. He wished for his chief’s steady voice, or the embrace of one of his partners, or the squabbling of the small children that Isten had watched over when he was only a boy himself. He wished for his father’s chastisement, and he imagined his mother’s image just as he’d done for longer than he could bear thinking about. But he knew he was wishing for things that all no longer existed.

He heard a soft noise from inside the tent before the fabric was being pushed back. Though he didn’t turn, he felt Adder’s bulk hovering behind him and he heard Adder’s sigh. Adder crouched down beside him after a moment and Isten shifted sideways to ease his aching legs, leaning into Adder’s warmth.

“What do you think is left of them?” Isten said softly. The light breeze ruffled his words and made him shiver. Adder wrapped an arm around his waist and gripped him tight. “Do you think wolves got them? Or the birds? Or are they just…there?” He was silent a moment. “I think about them. Lying there, staring. Unburied. No-one to remember them, except- except slaves.” He swallowed thickly and listened to Adder’s breathing without looking at the bigger man. He could feel the tears there, under the surface, but there was more clarity now than there had been even as recently as a week ago. He didn’t feel like he had a choice but to try to accept what had happened, not when he spent so much time within his own head. He had to be able to feel safe inside of himself, and he couldn’t do that with the blood of his people constantly splattered across the inside of his eyelids. He had to try and live with it.

“Sometimes,” he said, talking to Adder, but also talking to the night sky and the flickering stars, “I want to find where they are and bury them. Sometimes…I want to lie down and, not get up.” He looked over at Adder and found Adder looking back at him, his eyes glinting. Silent, but saying so much in the way his fingers curled into Isten's ribs, holding him. Isten smiled painfully and leaned closer to Adder’s muscled side, “Sometimes I want to just hold you and not let go.” Adder released a breath that could have been a sigh or a laugh. Isten’s face twisted, “You’ve been through so much worse,” he said, “How- how do you do it? Am I- do you think me weak?”

Isten looked at Adder, suddenly desperately wanting Adder to just _tell_ him, to impart some secret to how to endure and forget and move on. He caught the twitch of Adder’s jaw in the dark and the naked frustration as Adder opened his mouth but couldn’t speak.

Isten lowered his head, feeling exhausted by it all. Grieving for an Adder he never knew. Then Adder turned to drag him suffocatingly close and Isten choked briefly before he sagged and fell to his knees between Adder’s legs, forgetting the wet ground as he rested limply against the only person alive that mattered to him.

“I know,” Isten said softly. “I know.” They needed one another.

When they both slept, it was with Isten’s bare limbs limply entangled with Adder’s and dawn just beginning to rise.

 

 

Three days later, Isten rubbed at his damp forehead and looked between Adder and the healer in perplexity.

“You’re not sick, are you?” Isten asked Adder anxiously but Adder shook his head quickly, firmly and Isten waited, confused.

Adder had led him to the healer’s room from the stables before withdrawing a piece of paper from his pocket and, after carefully unfolding it, had handed it to the healer and proceeded to look at her expectantly.

She spoke to Adder too quickly for Isten to catch but Adder just nodded and kept looking at her. Isten’s confusion grew, before the healer sighed and lifted the paper up to the light and squinted at it. Isten could see writing on it, the incomprehensible lines of it small and uneven in a way that the text in Adder’s books wasn’t.

The healer turned to Isten then and lifted her eyebrows at him. Isten looked back at her.

“What is it?” he said, sending another glance at Adder, but his expression was as unreadable as the writing. There was tension in him, though, and Isten’s stomach tightened, hoping whatever was on the paper wasn’t bad news.

“He says,” the healer said, slowly for once, “that he has been dismissed from soldiering.” Isten looked again at Adder, digesting the information. These were Adder’s words – this was something Adder wanted to tell _him_ , but couldn’t. Isten waited nervously, reaching out to Adder to slip his hand into Adder’s. Adder squeezed his fingers. What would it mean for them, that Adder was dismissed from the army? Where would they go, and how would they eat?

The healer cleared her throat, “He says that he will take you to find your people-”

“What?” Isten said blankly. Adder met his gaze then, seeming to be scouring Isten’s face for a reaction. But Isten felt nothing but shock.

The healer ignored his interruption, “He says it will be dangerous,” she said, her accent warping the word but Isten understood it anyway. “And that you will not like what you find. That you don’t have to go, that you two can go elsewhere.” The healer paused a second as Isten stared at her. Then the healer huffed a breath and pushed the paper back at Adder before meeting Isten’s eyes. “He says he loves you.” Her sneering lips showed her scornful amusement at Adder’s proclamation, but her eyes were softer.

A smile curled across Isten’s mouth and he looked up at Adder, seeing the tenderness in Adder’s eyes, alongside the determined set of his brows. He was surrendering this decision to Isten, giving him a choice as to what they would do next and Isten stared at the wall behind the healer for a moment.

A part of him, a strong part, told him that the journey to bury his people would be long, difficult and ultimately pointless. He ought not look to the past, but go practically towards somewhere where he and Adder could live quietly, set down roots and feed themselves. And yet…something wound tight in him released a little when he thought of smoothing soil over his people’s bodies, of laying them below ground, out of the wind and away from the animals.

“I love you too,” Isten gently, meeting Adder’s waiting eyes. “And I need to go. I can’t live with their ghosts in my head.” He licked his lips and watched Adder. Adder nodded silently like he understood and pressed a kiss to Isten’s head before he looped an arm around Isten’s shoulders and led him out with a nod of thanks towards the healer. With crossed arms and a slight smile, she watched them leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank Imperial_Dragon for being an incredible beta - you've help me grow as a writer and a person and I can't thank you enough <3 And thanks also to OddSocksAndStuff, who may not read this, but who is a brilliant friend and cheerleader. Tumblr would be a cold and boring place without you :)

**Author's Note:**

> So....  
> Whatdidyathink? 
> 
> Comments and kudos are my lifeblood (feed me) and criticism is welcome, or come catch me on Tumblr at sauvage_loup and drop me an ask (I don't mind anons) :)


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